Renting while parents own over £1.4million in property

[Emmav2020]

Just after peoples thoughts. So myself and OH pay £1000 in rent a month aswell as having 2 kids and paying a fortune in childcare. My parents own the above amount in property. Now while ive spend over £50,400 paying rent i was thinking and kind of got myself annoyed that my parents are sat on that kind of money while im still renting. Even if they gave me a small deposit i would be forever grateful just so we can get ourselves a mortgage and onto the property ladder. my sister was given a hefty chunk my her in-laws to buy a house so shes find.
I mean we have save a bit ourselves but its nowhere near what we need
Would you be annoyed or do i have no right in thinking they could help us just a little.

How on earth do you know the value of their home, @Emmav2020 ? Did they have it valued recently?

Is this a home they bought back in the dark ages and never moved so it's just accumulated value over the years? If so, they may not have much spare cash after paying for its maintenance and upkeep. It doesn't make them rich.

Everyone here will (and has) told you that you’ve no right to it etc but I personally wouldn’t sit on a nest egg and see my children struggle renting. My mum has savings she could give to my brother and I which would make our life’s easier but of course I’d never ask for it. But I’d be downsizing and getting my kids on the housing ladder. I’d rather see them set up and happy buying their first home then it be done after my death.

I had a similar (bit not the same) situation as Penelope and Felicity. A lot of my friends were given a first car, I saved and paid cash for my one year old Mini Metro.

I was so proud of that car and took care of it in a way that friends who'd been given one didn't, and I've achieved a lot of satisfaction ever since, in knowing that I've earned everything I have. I think my parents helped me by not helping.

My parents are very well off now, but I don't want their money. They've supported me in a million ways, but they don't hand out cash and I think overall, that's been a good thing.

Do you want them to sell their house so they can give money to you?

Well, OP, as others have said, it's their home, it's not a big bag of cash. It might be their only sizeable asset, it might be their retirement plan (sell it, move somewhere cheaper, boost their income with the equity). I suppose this is the point where the OP chirps up with, "oh no, they have other properties/pensions/are forever going on cruises'. Well, if so, good for them! You're a long time dead, and you can't take it with you. Maybe you are a hopelessly feckless person and they don't see why they should take responsibility for you?

What is your plan to earn, save and own? Is that the right thing for you or is it better to rent and build other, less lumpy assets that you can convert to income? In your situation, I'd use my energy to solve my own financial/housing problems, rather than waiting for someone to help out. I realise this is frustrating, but you're not going to get anywhere by feeling grumped off and envious.

Why on earth do you feel that they should give you money? What has the value of their house got to do with it unless you're thinking that they should sell it to benefit you?
Why?

Haven't followed the entire thread and obviously don't know if your parents are really in a position to give you money.

But in general I do think parents should help with this. We have a situation in which younger people face enormous (and sometimes impassable) obstacles to obtaining a secure home.

I'm in my fifties and paying a mortgage of £150 a month for a three bed terraced house. The rented houses in my block are charging over £1000 per month. I don't just want to help DD get a property, I actually regard it as my moral duty.

Loads of people will come along to tell you how 'entitled' you're being but yeah, of course, I own property nowhere near that value and I'd certainly want to help my children out.

Our house is mortgage free and we have maybe 100k in various savings accounts- however my husband has no private pension at all and is 63 and I have around 17k per annum pension when I stop working (am 59). So should we give all our savings to our kids and be skint when we retire? OP hasn't given enough info - if parents have 1.4 mil, big pensions and spare cash perhaps they should help out, but perhaps they don't.

They owe me.
They’re rich and they aren’t sharing.
I want what they have.

Nobody is entitled to somebody else’s money or property or possessions and instead of being upset about it, you should be relieved that you’re relatively stable in your own life and leave the comparisons alone.

I think you’re being a bit unreasonable. There’s always gonna be someone more beautiful, more intelligent, more talented, more experienced, more successful, more wealthy than you are in this life — the challenge is in accepting that what you are and what you have is perfectly good enough. Or — work to improve yourself and your situation.
But it isn’t to ask those others to make you whole.

Yes because everybody can just put off having children u til they’re in the perfect financial situation and have bought a house with 4 bedrooms and a garden near good schools. Your life must be lovely and linear to judge so indiscriminately

If buying a house was so important then that should have been the priority. We bought out 4bed detached house with 1DC, had another DC once we had the house 🙄

that's v cheap rent , pretty much unheard of in my part of England

We all make different choices - I would not have had kids if we couldn't afford it and I would not have chosen to have kids thinking my parents should bankroll my choices or provide free childcare. So if you choose to have kids when you don't have enough cash to buy a house, live a nice life, go on holidays - that's your decision, you should take responsibility for your decision rather than getting angry with your parents.

Nobody is entitled to somebody else’s money or property or possessions and instead of being upset about it, you should be relieved that you’re relatively stable in your own life and leave the comparisons alone.

Why do people get so upset about having to pay inheritance tax?

Because that money is usually from savings or investments made from income, which was already taxed.

So it's taxing it again, for having the audacity to save it for your family.

Why not just ask them and see what they say?

Depends where you live though eh, in most of the country a 4 bed detached house is more than many people will ever afford. Even decent earners.

No, not really, Maybe they would if you asked, they probably think you are all right at the moment.

£1,000 a month is not too much for a decent house, eg a three bed one. I'd say it's a fair rent and you don't have to worry about repairs, etc (unless you have an absolutely awful, dodgy landlord/person but then, presumably, you wouldn't stay there).

Also, it isn't forever. You will be able to buy eventually.

We knew we wouldn't have a second child. But we wanted to buy first so we bought a two bed while expecting.

Decisions can be made based on your circumstances, and not everyone needs a four bed house, just because of children.

They can give their money to their kids... utter rubbish comment you make by saying pay your own way. The thing that matters is do the parents want to.. that's the only key thing here.

Every word of this ^^^

OP, of course it's up to your parents. And if 96% of their net worth is a single £1.4 million house that they don't want to leave, that's one thing. But if their 1.4 million is a nice house plus a couple of buy-to-lets generating income, and they are growing their wealth nicely, I would be wondering... what for? So they can leave it to you when you're 50? (And if it is buy-to-lets, there's a certain irony in collecting rent from people while your own children are unable to get a deposit together!)

The current over-60s have (obviously with variability and exceptions) had a shitload of breaks and essentially hoovered up a generation and a half's worth of wealth (former Tory MP David "Two Brains" Willetts is excellent on this). Mobilising some of that, even if it means paying a few quid in capital gains tax, so that your children can build a future before their own kids leave home seems like a no-brainer to me.

On MN everyone shrieks Yer On Yer Own but in life parents help.

Good families help each other. Stress on ‘good’.

Perhaps they think that they are helping enough by charging reduced rent?

Quite honestly if the parents are sitting in a Family sized house when it's just the two of them, and their children and GC are sitting in a cramped flat or semi paying £££ in rent then yes, I do think downsizing in order to help is a nice and practical thing to do and yes it's not a bad expectation that parents should consider this.

What I think is being overlooked is that old model of 'everyone does for themselves' and then gets a windfall inheritance is almost over. It's very hard for people to 'get for themselves whilst paying £1000 - £2000 + a month rent.

People need help to get an asset now.