Left out of fathers will

[Modelmaestro]

My very wealthy father has recently died and left all of his multi million estate to his wife of 7 years. I am 60, had a good relationship with my dad and was always told by him that I would be well looked after when he passed. I live on disability benefits. Turns out he left absolutely everything to his wife and I will only benefit when she dies. I feel so betrayed and disappointed that my dad lied to me. He was not a good dad but I always stuck by him. I feel so bad that I do not want to go his funeral as I have no respects to pay. What is your opinion.

I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. What country do you live in.

Can you challenge the will?

You say you will benefit when your father's widow dies. Does that mean that the marital home was left to you but the widow can live in it rent free until she dies? That is what often happens with a second marriage. The children still inherit but just have to wait longer.

Shamelessly grabby.

Do you mean your father's estate is in trust for you, or did they have mirror wills stating it will go to you, unless your stepmother makes another will?

Really I hate these inheritance threads.

It was your dads money to leave to whom he wished. It's quite normal for that to be the spouse, then the kids when said spouse passes.

Tough but that's life

Yanbu

Sorry he's done this to you

Mirror wills. But would you go to the funeral. It’s a matter of broken promises for all my life. I am unlikely to outlive her by much

He had more than enough for everyone. Millions

I think it’s completely understandable you are upset. People are very begrudging of others getting inheritance so it’s easy to spit out ‘grabby’ or ‘his money to do what he likes’.

Inheritance has to go somewhere so it’s deeply hurtful when people skip out their closest family, like a slap in the face. So OP, of course you’re upset.

What way has he done it and can you contest?

If he wasn't a good dad, though, is this really surprising? Perhaps he said it to keep you on side. Sorry you're upset.

That's awful, OP. I'm so sorry. I imagine it's the betrayal and lies rather than the money exactly. I think I'd go to the funeral service but leave straight after just because it's one of those things that if you don't go you won't be able to change your mind later. Did your father have any other children?

We cannot afford to contest unless someone takes us on no win no fee. I live on pension and husband on disability benefits. But would you feel inclined to go to the funeral?

You’re absolutely right, it is the betrayal. I also have a brother with special needs who lives in sheltered accommodation and he left him nothing also. 4 children in total and nine of us were provided for despite years of promises. Despite being a lousy dad, even I didn’t think he’d be this cruel. Btw his spouse was already financially well off.

It would upset me, but the other side of this is that you supported him through his best, she is supporting him through his worst.

Mirror wills. - so she can change hers whenever she decides?

I'd go to the funeral - put on a polite face and keep on good terms with the widow as much as possible and see if there is anything that can be legally done between the four children - there may not be.

If it were me, I wouldn't bother showing up to the funeral.

Yes I'd go to the funeral, you only get one shot at that and I wouldn't let money get in the way.

You said that you will be provided for after his wife dies, so is his estate left in trust for you? If so, you will still be provided for.

Yeah, I wouldn't count on her leaving you anything, OP.

It’s not money, it’s lies and betrayal over many years that has tainted my life in hindsight. Plus who wouldn’t provide for a son who lives in a care home

Plus I will be very old by then and she is also free to change her will. Nothing is left in trust.

Hi OP, similar happened to me - father left everything to second wife and her son. Yes, it's the betrayal, the failure to acknowledge your existence and legitimate needs, that hurts so badly.

I'd still go to the funeral, because it's a rite of passage that helps process the death in spite of everything. Brace yourself for the possibly-smug grieving widow, but go. And give yourself time to heal

Oh, and bollocks to the 'grabby!' comments. With property comes responsibility and this man has failed to meet it.

Well, if you re looking to inherit from your stepmum, then i'd go and be sweetness itself.

You don't know how long she will live for but if she has other children, then there is little chance you will get anything.

If you were promised an inheritance plus you were financial dependent on him, due to illness, there is a "slight" possibility you or your siblings may have a claim.

Because of the amounts involved, you may get a no win no fee deal, sometimes these things are sorted out long before court via mediation (if in England)

Some panel solicitors will give advice for free.

See a solicitor to ask if you can contest the will / especially on DBs behalf -I suppose we taxpayers are paying for his care and your disability costs - I would think if he has millions it’s worth looking into.

A shit father wouldn't.

If you're sure you won't regret it stay away from the funeral.