Left out of fathers will

[Modelmaestro]

My very wealthy father has recently died and left all of his multi million estate to his wife of 7 years. I am 60, had a good relationship with my dad and was always told by him that I would be well looked after when he passed. I live on disability benefits. Turns out he left absolutely everything to his wife and I will only benefit when she dies. I feel so betrayed and disappointed that my dad lied to me. He was not a good dad but I always stuck by him. I feel so bad that I do not want to go his funeral as I have no respects to pay. What is your opinion.

I don't think it's nice though. What a shit dad.

im so sorry for this... my daughters father passed away last year and left his entire estate too his new wife.

3 days after the funeral she went on holiday with her 'new boyfriend'.. there was no caveat about the house and she's sold it, and is now living the high life and can't understand why the girls have now disowned her

The OP has known her father for 60 years. The widow of the multi-millionaire for 7 years. And I'm guessing that if the OP is 60, then her dad was getting on for 80 when he remarried. Someone might be the grabby one here, and I don't think it's the OP.

I really feel for you OP.

I have a friend in exactly the same situation. The wife now owns the friends childhood home (some of the rooms are even still as decorated by my friends late mum) and the wife has told her she'll be leaving everything to her own children.

I don't think I could forgive a parent for doing this. I'd be more annoyed about him not leaving your brother provided for. Especially when we're talking millions.

I'd feel exactly the same as you and would also be considering whether to bother going to the funeral.

Contest it. You and your sibling will very likely win. You haven’t been provided for, and as immediate family I think this is strong grounds for contesting.

I don't know the legal position so won't comment on that, but dh's mum did this to him 10 years ago. He was really close to his mum, was always called the favourite child, spent hours every week on the phone to her, helped her out a lot with practical things when she was ill etc. She left everything to one grandchild ignoring her 3 sons and 3 other grandchildren.

Took dh a long time to get over the rejection when she wasn't here to explain why and didn't indicate in her will why. It wasn't life changing money for him, it was the rejection of him and more so his dc that hurt. Only time I have seen him in over 35 years actually properly crying and he turned to drink for a while, such a tough time. It blew the family apart and he hasn't talked to one of his brothers or nephew since the funeral (lots of backstory I would bore you with).

Be kind to yourself.

No it's not nice.

How old is his wife?
If she’s young I wouldn’t count on inheriting anything because she might remarry or spend the lot. I think I wouldn’t want to go to the funeral, but all that is likely to achieve is people thinking all you wanted was his money and failing to see the hurt feelings behind it.
He doesn’t deserve for you to go, you need to think how you feel if you don’t go though, and also people will talk and fill in the blanks themselves if you are not there.

To be honest if someone's living in a care home and funded by the state, an inheritance usually means they have to undergo an new financial assessment and frequently a fair chunk of the inheritance goes on the care home fees until their money goes down to the threshold again for state funding. So it doesn't necessarily make any difference to that individual's quality of life.

Saying that, I'm sorry that you're going through this. It sounds really difficult to process all that whilst grieving your father, all in a very short time frame.

I cannot stand the way some people on these threads just don't get it! OP's situation is different to mine because her father is very wealthy.

But all the same, my father died and left everything in his will to his much younger wife and they both told us (me and my sibling from his first marriage) that when she dies, anything left will go to the 3 children they had together. So he effectively disinherited us. And to make matters worse he appointed my full sibling as executor of his will and of his wife's will too! Even though they are not leaving him a penny.

If you say you would be at peace with that - then you're a big fat liar!

he appointed my full sibling as executor of his will and of his wife's will too! Even though they are not leaving him a penny

When the time comes your sibling can refuse to execute the will. Just simply refuse. The beneficiaries will then have to figure it out amongst themselves.

You need to be nice to your stepmother: your inheritance relies on her good will.

Your father was unthinking and careless. No wonder you're very upset.

But I really do think you should go to the funeral.

Has the widow got her own dc? Good luck if she does.