Left out of fathers will

[Modelmaestro]

My very wealthy father has recently died and left all of his multi million estate to his wife of 7 years. I am 60, had a good relationship with my dad and was always told by him that I would be well looked after when he passed. I live on disability benefits. Turns out he left absolutely everything to his wife and I will only benefit when she dies. I feel so betrayed and disappointed that my dad lied to me. He was not a good dad but I always stuck by him. I feel so bad that I do not want to go his funeral as I have no respects to pay. What is your opinion.

Perhaps you feel it will make a grand point if you don’t turn up but I suspect it will simply make it look like you only had a relationship with him on the basis you expected an immediate payout. Which perhaps sadly is the case! It sounds like he didn’t make a detailed will hence things just passed to his wife - that’s simply the law.

That sounds difficult, not just for the money but for the difficulty in moving on if you thought things would be one way and now they are another. You must have so many questions for him which you won’t get answers to.

If I were you I would go to the funeral. It might help you to start to process what has happened. But I wouldn’t be staying afterwards or communicating with people much. Certainly don’t try to make any grand gestures about how betrayed you feel.

On a more practical note, get some legal advice as to where you stand. I assume you are in England? If in Scotland you might have more options.

If he was that bad a father why do you want his money.

This sounds super fair to me. You benefit which his widow dies is she much younger than your dad.

Does his wife have children and are you on good terms with her? If you are struggling and there are multi-millions could you ask her for some money to help out?

They are mirror wills. She can now change her will and has no obligation to leave anything to OP.

And we're off!

Is your relationship good with her ?

Is there no chance she will do the right thing and give you money now ?

It depends how it's drafted. Worth getting a probate solicitor to look at it.

Do you think future you would be more likely to regret not going to the funeral or for going to it?

Personally I would go.

Sadly I have heard this a few times. Men (always men) saying they have made provisions in their will to ( generally ) women, only for it to turn out to be lies, (or carelessness at best interpretation).

It feels unfair . You can’t change it. You have to find a way to make your peace with it. Maybe go to the funeral more as being a witness to his demise, rather than paying respect. In your situation I would go. Observe, listen and draw your own conclusions about how valuable his life was. It may bring closure.

Similar happened to me OP (although my father was not fabulously wealthy). I did go to his funeral but I feel extremely indifferent about him now and think he was a weak and emotionally unintelligent person. If that makes me grabby, sobeit.

I hate these threads too, but mostly due to the borderline smug attitude of the 'tough shit' crowd. I find it very hard to believe that many people on here would not feel a tiny bit miffed if they did not get a share of a life changing sum or money or assets from their parents estate. I don't factor any inheritance into my financial planning and I would rather my folks spend their considerable wealth enjoying themselves in retirement but I would be a liar if I said i would be fine if later down the line my sister got their entire estate and me zero.

Similar circumstances. My dad did the same.

Let everything to his wife of 2 years

I am in her will (so far!) Who knows if it will remain that way

Nothing you can do im afraid. It was very clear in his will

Oh, god, why do men do this?

I am so sorry he has been such a useless Dad, OP.

What is his wife like?

I would turn up at the funeral, take your bother too, if possible, to a) maximise the chances of his wife leaving you the ££ or giving you some now or b) to shame her

But I am hard headed like that.

And morally I do not think it is ‘grabby’ to think that a wealthy man might reserve some of his beneficence for his children.

Did you have a good relationship with him or not because in this thread you said you didn’t but in your other thread you said you had a good relationship. Which is it?

That's awful, I'm so sorry. Can his wife decide to make a new will and leave everything to someone else when she dies? Or does the will specify that you get it.
My ex H did this to my DS. He rung him up a couple of weeks ago and said he's leaving his house to a friends daughter because he always wanted a daughter WTF!
This prince among men contributed nothing towards my DS upbringing whatsoever, he left it entirely to me and now this.
My DS was devastated.

He didn’t help you in life and he hasn’t helped you in death…

but it's his money

it’s up to you whether you want to go to the funeral

Except many second wives do NOT go on to honour the agreement and leave money to his children.

So many of my friends have watched their father’s money (even when it all came from their maternal family) go to a much younger second wife. Who then leaves it to her own children… or even her next husband.

If I marry a man in later life and he has grown up children I would in no way expect him to leave me all his money. I would have had no part in supporting him to pay for his house or build his savings, and would see it as me being grabby to waltz off with the lot.

Especially if his children were as much in need as the OP and one of her siblings, and I was comfortable under my own steam.

Go to the funeral.

Then remember him as the failure he was.

‘Grabby’ is a Mumsnet bingo ninny word.

What's your relationship like with her? Could you speak about it?
If he has just recently passed away she may have not had time to think of the inheritance aspect.
She may agree you all deserve some and can do a deed of variation which is easier than contesting...providing all are agreeing.

What country do you live in?

@TheCadoganArms

You missed my point.

That is it's up to the person whose Will it is, to leave it to whom ever they please.

It's wrong to assume anything in this life.

Also we don't know how much the new wife brought with her into the marriage.

So how much of the millions was hers?