Household income

[MolsIH]

Hi ladies
Hubby earns a lot more than me and said he’s not happy with financial set up
He earns £4800 a month and I’m £2200

Currently All money goes into joint account and we take £500 each (equal) as disposable / treat ya self income

i’ve always moved the remainder money around to pay bills, mortgage and savings etc

he came to me today and said he feels controlled and that instead he wants to be paid ‘quote’ ‘HIS’ money into his own bank account and he’ll decide how much goes in for bills.

I’m so upset by this. He earns significantly more than me and it shouldn’t be him vs me. I see it as our money and I’ve been moving / taking care of the bills as he’s always not been interested.

how do others manage their money? X

Ive always wondered how people who keep separate accounts manage.
I mean it’s well researched that it’s women who do about 70~80% of the purchases. They buy food, clothes, nursery. They are often the ones to sort out electricity, insurrance etc…
So if you have joint account, how do you ensure that it’s not just you who pays for everything?
How do you manage a system where you pay in proportion to your wage? Are you expecting your DP to give you an allowance to cover his share?

And what the heck do you do when you want a fancy hols but your DP can’t afford it (or the other way around)?

What if he decides to leave you and clear the joint account? Or you end up in an abusive relationship and need to leave?

This is foolish imo. Women should always have their own money and an escape fund. You may have been lucky in your relationship, but millions aren't.

Plus I would absolutely hate to have DP know about every little thing I spend money on! And what about Christmas/birthdays etc? You'd know exactly how much they spent and where they spent it, because they've essentially spent your money!

I don't know about it being 'the modern way'. My parents always had separate accounts and so did my grandparents. I was brought up to believe that it is extremely important to always have your own money.

Hey @MolsIH did you speak to him about it?

I would never have a joint bank account. My dh pays the bills , we have no mortgage but own our house outright. I pay for all the food, alcohol etc, works out I probably pay out a bit more a month. Our joint income is probably about 6G per month, both earning about the same, he is self employed. But he pays for all the renovation on our lovely house he has made for us, but all the contents, new furniture etc we go halves on. We both save about half our salaries every month, I never ask him for money, nor he me. We never discuss money, have no credit owed, and never question money. It works for us. We live in rural Ireland where life is a lot more easy going. 30 euro a month house tax, no water rates.

Given you gave children and are working less to deal with that, his suggestion would be completely unreasonable to me. He shouldn’t expect you to sacrifice your career for his and then keep his earnings for himself.

It’s so outrageous that I would start thinking my spouse was planning to divorce and this was his excuse to make the accounts easier to split.