2nd home stamp duty - how do we as a couple deal with this when I'm responsible?

[freehugs6]

I would welcome people's thoughts on this situation I am currently in. Myself and my partner are looking at purchasing a property together but it feels very complicated with a 2nd home stamp duty issue.

I have owned a property on my own since August 2023. He has sold his house which is due to complete in July. He lives with me (and has a daughter age 10 who stays with us regularly).

We would like to buy a property together because we are struggling for space. One issue arising from this is that I haven't owned my property for a year, I do not want to sell so early into its ownership and will be liable for second home stamp duty.

In simple terms, this is the situation:

1. I will remortgage my property to give me £80k in total (£40k from remortgage) to contribute towards a deposit / legal fees / stamp duty
2. He will also contribute £80k towards deposit / legal fees / stamp duty
3. He earns £140k, I earn £54k. I am aiming to pay half the mortgage on the new property.

He has said that based on our deposit contributions, he will own 60% of the property, and I will own 40%, because £20k of my contribution is 2nd home stamp duty.

I am not sure how I feel about the 60/40 split. I am trying to see things from his perspective but I am not ready to sell my home after such a short space of time which has put me in this difficult situation whereby I feel that I have to purchase another property and contribute to the stamp duty. If it were just the two of us there wouldn't be an issue around space and my home would be adequate. I am also taking out additional mortgage debt to finance the stamp duty.

An option I had thought about was that if we were to split and sell the property, the first £20k (being the 2nd home stamp duty) would go to him, with a 50/50 split on the rest of the sale proceeds. I'm not sure this is fair to him either, but can't quite get my head around it.

Thoughts please forum! Thanks in advance.

There is no way on earth I would be purchasing a property with this man.

His attitude stinks already, and you don't have the financial security of marriage. How long have you been together? How long has he been living with you?

I agree with the previous poster. No way on earth I’d be entwining myself financially with him.

Red flags all over his attitude and outlook

An alternative is to keep your house, rent it out, then rent somewhere together that is big enough house his DD, with him paying 2/3 and you 1/3 given that the extra space is required for his DD and also the earning power disparity. I'll bet he won't go for it.

Thank you everyone for your comments so far. I thought I was unjustified in my thinking so it is really interesting to hear your perspective.

@NigellaAwesome he wants to get back on the property ladder so won't be interested in renting. We have been together 18 months but have known each other for 15 years. He has lived with me since January, having moved out of a rental. We have both come out of long-term relationships in the last few years, I was previously married, he was never married to his ex.

I wonder why he was never married to the mother of his child? Was he too much of a tightarse back then, too, to want the sharing partnership that is a marriage?

If you sell your property within three years, you can claim the higher stamp duty back.

Thanks, yes I do know this :)

Considering just last August he wasn’t a big enough part of your plans so far that you’d bought your own house then no, I wouldn’t consider any if this tbh.

Remortgaging on current rates isn’t a good deal, we’d planned to until recently but it’s not worth it.

If he doesn’t have enough space for his daughter, then I’m sorry but after only 18 months that’s not your problem to be funding. I would stay put in your house and let him buy himself, it’s far too soon in a relationship to be getting this financially embroiled and I don’t think you’re getting a good deal.

If you did this and paid 50% of the mortgage you’d be entitled to 50% of the equity after taking out the deposits, I don’t agree with his assessment that he would own 60%, he wouldn’t.

If you are paying half the mortgage then you own 50% - the deposit should be in a deed of trust (I think?) meaning if you sell it you both get your deposit back and the equity split 50/50

He's negotiating like a business partner rather than a life partner. I wouldn't go there.

Even if you were to accept the 20k as entirely your liability somehow, it would bring the deposit contributions to 80k/60k, a 57%/43% split. That's 3% of the house value he just attempted to steal off you. But you're also intending to pay half the mortgage (which is the majority of the money), so even that breakdown wouldn't be fair.

It’s way too soon and it’s his daughter. Do not sell your house or commit to him financially at the moment. And why on earth should you pay half the mortgage when his salary is so high

Totally agree, and the fact he’s stating otherwise is a massive red flag.

If you sell your house within three years you could maybe claim back the stamp duty.

But given what you’ve said about your partner I’d be keeping that house and save yourself the bother of buying with him at all.

He’s not interested in renting but he was renting and is now living with you? I hope he’s been contributing financially from his £104k salary?

has he been paying you rent?

I think you are moving too fast tbh - he doesn’t sound great

Agreed, if he’s so keen on splitting the house equity (which he’s calculated incorrectly anyway) he should be suggesting a 2/3 vs 1/3 mortgage payment.

But irrelevant really, I wouldn’t do it.

Sell your house, if you lose £20,000 on it you will be no worse off and you start with a clean slate on the new property. Or stay where you are, assuming you have two bedrooms. Is he paying you economic rent currently? If he's so keen on things being divided properly.

Or since he earns so much more than you I think you should put in pro rata to your salaries into the new property as 50:50 shares, not to mention he gets to use more of the property to accommodate his DC.

Someone earning 6 figures knows the math doesn't math fairly, he's lining you up to screw you over in the eventuality.

He can fund his own home to house his daughter, your house is perfect for you just as it is, and like a pp mentioned remortgaging in this climate does not make financial sense in your situation.

Do not buy a house with this man.

1. How much rent has he saved since he moved in with you? Has he included this in his calculations, given his maths in general doesn't seem that good?
2. has he contributed fairly to the joint expenses since he moved in (as well as paying more anyway on 'fun' because he earns more?)
3. If you sell your house within 3 years, so you both get the extra SDLT back, will he then increase your %share of the house? Will he put that in writing?
4. How much SDLT are you having to pay now, ignoring the 2nd home %, to buy a house for his daughter that you wouldn't otherwise need to spend, because your house is fine for 2?

He has been paying me £650 per month, which is 50% of my mortgage/our household bills, council tax etc.

See i would see it as my cost.
Whether that makes it 50/50 or it's paid by me first or he gets first £20k of deposit, that depends on the maths.

If I choose to keep my flat when buying with my partner so cost us £20k extra that's all on me really. My investment decision of sell versus rental income.

(But I am an accountant so think costs over "but we lurve each other")

I still own my house that I bought a long time before meeting DH. He bought the house that we chose and live in together. I rent out my house. You could do a similar thing and contribute towards your boyfriend’s mortgage proportionately- rent, essentially. Which would be less than half seeing as there is a 3rd person regularly there.
I wouldn’t be rushing into selling up and buying in with someone who is being so tight and grabby with money.

So he needs your money to be able to afford a big enough house to house his DD but wants to screw you over financially if you split or am I reading it wrong?
I'm with the op's, no chance would I put myself at financial risk to live with a fella that I've been with for 18 months no matter how long I'd known or been friends with him.
He's waving a big red flag right in front of your face, don't ignore it.

Please, please, please don't let him get a chunk of your house, stop letting him pay you for half of the mortgage now.

Have you been giving him recipts or has he been making notes on the payments as mortgage payments instead of rent/bills?

i would not buy on a 60=40 split. That will be is a massive profit for him if sell compared to your £20k less input.

as I doubt he is going to be paying you for all you do for his daughter, or is that 100% his time, effort and responsibility as he is so keen to split correctly?