2nd home stamp duty - how do we as a couple deal with this when I'm responsible?

[freehugs6]

I would welcome people's thoughts on this situation I am currently in. Myself and my partner are looking at purchasing a property together but it feels very complicated with a 2nd home stamp duty issue.

I have owned a property on my own since August 2023. He has sold his house which is due to complete in July. He lives with me (and has a daughter age 10 who stays with us regularly).

We would like to buy a property together because we are struggling for space. One issue arising from this is that I haven't owned my property for a year, I do not want to sell so early into its ownership and will be liable for second home stamp duty.

In simple terms, this is the situation:

1. I will remortgage my property to give me £80k in total (£40k from remortgage) to contribute towards a deposit / legal fees / stamp duty
2. He will also contribute £80k towards deposit / legal fees / stamp duty
3. He earns £140k, I earn £54k. I am aiming to pay half the mortgage on the new property.

He has said that based on our deposit contributions, he will own 60% of the property, and I will own 40%, because £20k of my contribution is 2nd home stamp duty.

I am not sure how I feel about the 60/40 split. I am trying to see things from his perspective but I am not ready to sell my home after such a short space of time which has put me in this difficult situation whereby I feel that I have to purchase another property and contribute to the stamp duty. If it were just the two of us there wouldn't be an issue around space and my home would be adequate. I am also taking out additional mortgage debt to finance the stamp duty.

An option I had thought about was that if we were to split and sell the property, the first £20k (being the 2nd home stamp duty) would go to him, with a 50/50 split on the rest of the sale proceeds. I'm not sure this is fair to him either, but can't quite get my head around it.

Thoughts please forum! Thanks in advance.

He is bringing more people to the household, yet expects you to lose out on 20k to provide him with a larger home? Why are you moving in with this man?

I agree with this, you’re not married and it’s a very short relationship in reality, you should both be thinking practically here and it seems like he is.

The additional stamp duty is your cost, so how you organise it is up to you together but this additional amount wouldn’t be payable if you weren’t keeping your property therefore it is your charge to pay

Do not let this man pay your mortgage. He can make a claim on your property

It is one thing ring fencing deposits but I would not split the future equity growth anything other than 50/50

Not sure remortgaging to pay stamp duty is the way to go either. I’d just leave it to next summer. See how you are and then move. It’s not unusual to split property up in terms of deposit split but you don’t seem to have a deposit either without more borrowing. He could just buy a property and you keep yours. Rent it out? Although with Labour, you might never get it back!

Not a chance in hell I’d be buying with this man at present.

Why the rush. 18months is way too soon. I'd wait a year and then have a think about it then

Thank you for this. I haven't been giving him receipts, should I be? He has been making notes on the payments to me as 'rent'.

Why can't he just go buy his own house? His salary is enough to buy solo.

Don't give up your home for this man or risk it. No matter what else you decide.

Agreed, he has plenty of equity and a good salary, don’t give up your property OP. Your house is plenty big enough for you, if it’s not big enough for his daughter that’s his issue, let him buy a bigger house.

Lose the man

Keep your house

He is not approaching this 'as a couple '. There is a reason you are uncomfortable with the 60/40 split. He is proposing something that would benefit him and disadvantage you.

It's his responsibility to house his dd. As above, if your place is not big enough for all of you, that’s his issue. If he is on £140k and has just sold a property, he is perfectly capable of buying somewhere suitable. Don't give up the security of your own home.

Be verrry careful.
this could easily end up being the most expensive shag of your life OP.

let him buy his own house

I’m 💯 in the keep the house lose the man camp.

I wouldn't combine finances with someone whose income was so different to mine, it's too hard to make things fair/equal.

That’s fine. But then if it’s about math, she’d just owe him the original 20K at time of sale, not 40:60 split of future imagined equity.

This is all sorts of unfair.

At the very least, if you own the property 60/40, you should be paying the mortgage 60/40 too.

50/50 on all buying costs and equity put into the property, and 50/50 on mortgage payments. Any other way would be unfair. He wants the bigger house, he needs to pay the equal costs.
Make sure you buy as tenants in common with a deed of trust, including equal distribution of proceeds if you split up, and make sure that you have a will in place.

You would be mad to buy with this person. You are both contributing the same - but he expects to split the equity 60/40 in his favour?

Tell him to buy his own house. He's a CF. You are only even considering buying somewhere else because you need to house his DD, and he's trying to rip you off.

Don't do it.

Too messy, and if it goes tits up he has way more money to pay for legal advice & will be able to out manoeuvre you.
He'll be tempted to sabotage your career & turn you into his childminder- he's already got you considering things you dont feel comfortable with in order to accommodate his child.
He has too much leverage in this situation & he will use it to exploit you, never let a man have the upper hand.

Please don’t buy a property and get yourself into debt to make space for a child of a man who you are not even married to. How is this benefiting you? Do you even want to get another property or doing it to appease him? You are on the property ladder, he isn’t. If he wants to go back to the property ladder, he can do it alone. Also paying half of your mortgage? He now has a viable interest in your property- he can take you to court for this.

So hang on, you need to move due to lack of space, presumably because he comes with a child you need to accommodate? But it is your fault there is stamp duty to be paid? Sounds like some seriously twisted logic to me. Surely it is him and his commitments that are costing you more rather than the other way round. That's before even considering the fact he earns double what you do.

You need to get him out of your house.

He has already fixed this so you lose out, what kind of 'decent' man does that? The same kind that deliberately doesn't marry the love of his life, so he gets to keep every penny for himself.

He will be free loading in all other ways too. I would end the relationship and consider this an averted disaster. Take care of your hard earned assets op. He is bad news and you know it.

No no no no no no
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Please do not do this!

This move and house purchase financially benefits him and financially screws you!

I would never recommend buying with someone you have been dating for 18 months, even if you have known him years. Why was he is such a rush to move in with you………… true overwhelming love? Or because it makes him financially richer and he has a woman to look after his child for him??

He needs a bigger home for his daughter - he buys a bigger home in his name. And it’s also safer for both of you to have separate homes in your own names, should the relationship not work out.

Move into his bigger home if you wish. But keep your own home and rent it out if your mortgage provider will allow.

Make a few suggestions to him that are better financially in your favour - his reaction will be telling. Is he only willing to consider plans that make him richer and you poorer?

I will remortgage my property to give me £80k in total (£40k from remortgage) to contribute towards a deposit / legal fees / stamp duty

To me this 'smells' like him trying to recoup some of the money he has given you as rent, he's trying to siphon it back out of your property.

Absolutely no way. Everyone else has explained why this is a no no and you don't think it's right or fair either.

I would seriously be reconsidering his ethics. Your property is just fine. He wants a bigger property to accommodate his child and then wants to penalise you in terms of ownership split whilst you would still pay 50% of the mortgage and bills even though he earns significantly more than you do.

Hmmmmmm