Do you feel bad for receiving a ‘high amount’ of UC?

[AnotherNameChange1233]

Last week I went to my local Children’s Centre and attended a Citizen’s Advice group that runs once a week.

As long as you’re registered to the Children Centre, you can turn up for any advice needed. Some people want privacy so they go into a side room with the advisor and some parents may help other parents if they’ve been in a similar situation/can offer the correct advice. It’s also like a social group for parents, hopefully you get the jist of it.

On the table I was sitting on, one parent was trying to get her head around UC as she didn’t quite understand LHA rates, how DLA impacts UC and what elements she would be entitled too. Anyway, I started speaking about my experience with DLA, UC and offered to log into my UC account if it was easier for her to look at the breakdown visually (instead of me talking and complicating things). I also got her postcode to explain how the LHA rates work and etc.

Another parent suddenly spoke up and said, ‘don’t you feel bad for claiming that much money?’ She wasn’t argumentative or anything and we had an interesting conversation but it made me think, are people like me supposed to feel bad when receiving a certain amount?

She also said something like (I’m paraphrasing here as I can’t remember it exactly word for word) if people can’t afford their rent then they should move to a more affordable area. I raised the point of Landlords purchasing properties as part of the Right to Buy scheme, charging extortionate rent which taxpayers then pay through UC. Surely, it’s more a problem that there isn’t affordable rental properties in many areas.

For full transparency, I’m going to mention all of my UC amounts and wonder if people that claim similar, feel bad?

• 292 single person allowance
• 1450 private rent
• 539 for 2 children
• 293 for 2 disabled children
• 589 childcare costs
• 189 carer

£216 is deducted from my entitlement due to my wages. That means my UC amount is £3133. My wages is £771. I receive two amounts of MRC through DLA which is £580 all together.

Now that I’ve written it down, it seems like a whole lot of money but the costs that come with raising one of my disabled children (the other still costs a lot, but not as much as the other) is through the roof due to their issues

I didn’t read the comment about epilepsy but presumably it’s someone who doesn’t really understand what epilepsy is.

I have a horrible feeling that some people actually would. If only they could live a day in our shoes !

I can't understand all the "But I work FULL TIME" comments.
The OP, single, with 2 disabled children, works way more than full time.
I'm not in the UK so we have a different system. I am also a carer & work part time, but can only claim approx €300pm due to means testing (based on partners income, which I know isn't relevant for the OP).

OP, I applaud you for even attempting to work part time with 2 disabled children. I wish you all the best.

Whilst your family income is higher than my familiy's (two adults working full time, two teens) you are looking after two disabled children and incurring costs. I can't start to imagine how you do this and work in a job. So I take my hat off to you. You claim hat you're entitled to, no more.

Why would we want to discourage women from making sensible choices?

I don't think it's suprising that this hasn't been the focus of the discussion - largely because huge numbers of people not receiving state funding also have to pay similar sums to private landlords out of their own take home pay.

If this was a predicament unique to those paying universal credit (and therefore the state) it would probably attract more attention on a thread such as this.

Well I mean that’s not necessarily true. The world’s probably worse off for about 90% of the world’s population. And that’s not any comment on wealth, class or economic output… I’m probably a net contributor (healthy, no kids, higher tax bracket) and I doubt the world is better with me in it.

But to OP’s point, no one should feel bad claiming what they are entitled to. And no one should be annoyed at you for that because it’s not your fault, it’s the systems. The same way people shouldn’t be mad at people legitimately reducing their tax bill.

It is a lot of money, and so I can see why some might feel jealous or somewhat negatively about it. It’s more than my husband who earns just under £50k takes home every month for working full time in a management role. But I wouldn’t swap positions with you, which I think people forget to consider when feeling jealous on monetary terms alone.

It's interesting to see the figures. You end up, with childcare and housing costs taken off with about the same disposable income per month as I do out of my 45k ish salary (I've taken my housing costs / childcare off too, mine are lower though tbf).

I only have one child at home now and get MRC / LRM so I didn't include DLA as part of income. You get a little more but obviously have 2 children, comparatively I get "more per child".

I live with my own chronic health issues / disabilities although get nothing for these and work full time which can be a nightmare. I am fortunate that I can rely on family a lot and a lot of flexible working. Not everyone has that luxury.

I certainly don't begrudge you the income from benefits. It's not a race to the bottom and we all need enough to live on. I'd rather you and your children were able to have at least a reasonably comfortable life. I do think it's probably enough to support a reasonable standard of living. I hope you have a good support network around you too.

I thought Money Matters was the best place to post but in hindsight, I shouldn’t have posted at all. I’ve done it to myself really! Thank you for your kind words though

What Are the additional costs for caring for disabled children that you are expected to pay for that is not provided?

why is this not available for your child and you are expected to pay, for a health/disability condition. Isn’t this why we all pull together with our NI payments?

i have no idea about provisions for any disability so I’m genuinely asking

Yes but how do you think the two are related? How would taking benefits away help your situation of low wages vs cost of living?

I don't disagree. I don't have a problem with supporting people in ops position. But I wonder how much of that is because I am privileged to be ok for money.

If I were one of the people working ridiculous hours and having a fraction of that income, would I feel like I do now? Possibly not. I don't know. I just understand why it is galling for some.

I don’t personally claim benefits but can see why benefit amounts add up in some cases. 2k just on rent and child care , additional benefits due to having two disabled children. In reality, if people on this thread were to really think about it properly, no one would trade places.

It doesn't matter what section you post in unfortunately OP
People can still be awful

I can already see from new posts that things like extra electricity bills, therapies or travel costs will be part of additional costs

Agreed. Salaries being too low relative to the cost of living is a separate issue.

You’re absolutely right! I had a really great carer, worked in Logistics and was so close to being promoted. I would have had a great life and would easily take away my children’s disabilities if I could

So you receive 4484 a month? So once your rent is paid you have just over 3 thousand pounds left? That is a huge amount but I assume you must be getting it for a reason.
What are your extra costs with the children (don't answer if that is too personal). My friend who is disabled has to pay for a cleaner and meals on wheels so she uses benefits for that but I'm not sure what the extra costs would be for children although I'm sure there are many.

I don't claim any benefits but if I had disabled children I would claim what I was entitled to even if it seemed like a lot. My instinct to get the best for my children would override any feeling of whether it was right to claim that much in benefits.

Good luck to you and your children.

Don't feel bad. Me and DH both work almost full time, social housing so cheaper rent, 2 kids - one older teen one primary age. Shocked to get £700 a month. We haven't twisted anything as they check every thing.

Don't feel bad to get what someone else has decided you're entitled too.

The problem is we purportedly live in a wealthy country, but that wealth is concentrated and most people are on low wages which are not wnough to live on. Benefits top ups to people working are basically a subsidy to an employer.

People like the idea of a benefit system, but still have to feel they are "better off" than a benefit recipient. But how far lower can we go when everyone is struggling? Be angry about that! How much money is kept off shore, or paid in dividends (I am looking at you Thames Water), or wasted on knee jerk unworkable government contracts.. not at a single mother of 2 disabled children, at least one of whom will never live independently. Your mortgage may be crippling now, but it will at least finish in the next 25 years

Imagine if all that were funnelled into public services - OP might even be entitled to respite care, or professional carers and be able to work (and thus contribute tax!) more.

And this is it. I don't understand why you get anything. I'm breaking my back for this. It's all madness. I'm working to pay for this. They need to fix this. It's crazy and it's making me crazy.

Don't feel bad. You are just claiming what you are entitled to, and UC isn't a particularly generous benefit. It basically exists because it's not possible for many people to make a decent living in the UK, so it's a really important safety net imo, and one that really needs to be strengthened!

I know I said I’m no longer responding to personal attacks but excuse me? If I’m not meant to pay tax because of my low wages and I’m incorrectly paying it then of course I’m going to look into it! Are you kidding me? Why would I confirm/decline whether I get child maintenance when you’ve already created an answer for yourself? So strange

Well to me this is what I pay my taxes for it's as simple as that

Obviously I don't know the details of your childrens disabilities, cost of caring or the local cost of rents. Nor is it my business to know. That's for benefit assessors to consider

You have disabled dependents, you work part time, you are probably never off duty. That's much more than plenty of people

Ps. Your post does, at first read, sound as though you have 4 kids. So can understand comments there.

Pps. As others have said. It's the non resident parents help (either financially or with time, both would be valuable I am guessing) or lack of help that really boils my blood to be honest. But again it's none of my business about your circumstances. But I would vote instantly for any party who truly sorted accountability out ....

If I’m honest (and I bet OP feels the same) we are envious of those getting less who have dc who are well. There’s so much jealousy one way to those getting high UC amounts but it goes the other way too.

Id swap any amount of money not to sit here sometimes in tears wondering what on earth happens to my dc if something happens to me - and I’m running on empty. To have to look into things like legal issues and mental capacity and planning for the future to make sure the dc are cared for if anything happens or that when they are adults I can take care of things legally for them etc etc all whilst dealing with the everyday problems and emergencies.