Do you feel bad for receiving a ‘high amount’ of UC?

[AnotherNameChange1233]

Last week I went to my local Children’s Centre and attended a Citizen’s Advice group that runs once a week.

As long as you’re registered to the Children Centre, you can turn up for any advice needed. Some people want privacy so they go into a side room with the advisor and some parents may help other parents if they’ve been in a similar situation/can offer the correct advice. It’s also like a social group for parents, hopefully you get the jist of it.

On the table I was sitting on, one parent was trying to get her head around UC as she didn’t quite understand LHA rates, how DLA impacts UC and what elements she would be entitled too. Anyway, I started speaking about my experience with DLA, UC and offered to log into my UC account if it was easier for her to look at the breakdown visually (instead of me talking and complicating things). I also got her postcode to explain how the LHA rates work and etc.

Another parent suddenly spoke up and said, ‘don’t you feel bad for claiming that much money?’ She wasn’t argumentative or anything and we had an interesting conversation but it made me think, are people like me supposed to feel bad when receiving a certain amount?

She also said something like (I’m paraphrasing here as I can’t remember it exactly word for word) if people can’t afford their rent then they should move to a more affordable area. I raised the point of Landlords purchasing properties as part of the Right to Buy scheme, charging extortionate rent which taxpayers then pay through UC. Surely, it’s more a problem that there isn’t affordable rental properties in many areas.

For full transparency, I’m going to mention all of my UC amounts and wonder if people that claim similar, feel bad?

• 292 single person allowance
• 1450 private rent
• 539 for 2 children
• 293 for 2 disabled children
• 589 childcare costs
• 189 carer

£216 is deducted from my entitlement due to my wages. That means my UC amount is £3133. My wages is £771. I receive two amounts of MRC through DLA which is £580 all together.

Now that I’ve written it down, it seems like a whole lot of money but the costs that come with raising one of my disabled children (the other still costs a lot, but not as much as the other) is through the roof due to their issues

You have chosen to create a post in an online forum asking if you should feel "bad" if claiming the sum of money that you do every month from the state.

Presumably a proportion of the people you have in mind to answer that question are those that are working very hard to generate this income for you.

Most of these people will want to see some accountability taken for the decisions you have made, that can be explained by understanding the circumstances that have changed in your life to result in you and your ex partner being entirely unable to support yourself and your family. Understanding how this happened would help to rationalise these sums of money and may well be an excellent example of why having a "welfare state" is so important when circumstances change in this manner.

The same applies to people wanting to know what the father of these children is doing in terms of financial support.

At at time when the cost of living etc will inevtiably have a substantial impact on people's decision to have more (or any) children, society generally will inevitably view things differently if you have ended up in this situation from a state prior of financial independence, for example.

If your example is someone who works full time and has no disability/ disabled dc vs someone in OP position then obviously it’s your right to feel whatever you want to feel and if that’s resentment then you can’t help that but I’d judge harshly because how could you be jealous and resentful about someone with disabled dc ? Surely you’d see how lucky you are and just work harder and maybe have some therapy or just a stern word with yourself because really who would be jealous in that situation

You find something that you completely made up to be sickening? That’s quite drastic. I don’t even know if you’ve read my original post properly because if you have, what sort of response is this?

the receiver should be made to volunteer during school hours in hospitals / care home. And what time do I have to be volunteering in between caring and working part time? I should be made to volunteer in a care home and care for others despite the fact that I have my own disabled children to care for? You can’t be serious surely.

How is our benefit system encouraging people to work?!

It’s simple maths. If I work, I have £200 odd deducted from my UC, and a £770 odd wage. If I don’t work, I loose that £770 wage and receive the £200 back onto my UC. That’s £570 difference. How is that not encouraging those to work? I’m a carer and don’t have any expectation to work because of how many hours I spend caring. Yet I still try to stay in employment. The fact that this isn’t enough for some people is crazy to me

One point most people are missing is that OP likely has very little choice in how many hours she works/how much she earns.

She has disabled children, one of whom may never leave home which means she is stuck, for the rest of her working life, working in the few jobs she can manage. She can't retrain, go for promotions, or take overtime if things get a bit tight or she fancies getting on the property ladder or building a bigger pension.

@AnotherNameChange1233

Please don’t feel you have to justify anything more You don’t have to - this thread is horrific. You are entitled to all you get and I think you’re amazing the fact you can work part time. Ignore all the ignorance on here ❤️

Thank you. The whole point of the additional disabled child element/carer element/DLA is there not to only cover any additional costs incurred by the disabled child. It’s also there to assist with a living amount that you as a carer will most likely not be able to get through earnings. I honestly don’t know what some people’s ideas of a parent carer is like. I think it’s hell personally

Have you got disabled kids? OP has. No one in their right mind would feel anything but sympathy

That's such a lot of money. Nearly twice my shite full time salary!

Oh I’m surprised you haven’t been told that you should be handwriting Thankyou cards to all the taxpayers funding you whilst volunteering at a donkey sanctuary and giving up sleeping so you can work more hours

Not judging by the way and you shouldn't feel bad.

It high because your rent is horrendous but it’s not like there are a dozen council properties you could take instead waiting for you. So it’s a broken system but it’s not like you’ve broken it!

Some people just can’t comprehend it

iTs nOT fAiR 😭😭😭😭

@AnotherNameChange1233 You asked should you feel guilty that was literally your question.

as others have said, if you get over four figures in maintenance AND nearly £4k from benefits then yes, perhaps a twinge of guilt from both you and the father of your children should be considered. It’s not piling in you - it’s questioning the system that doesn’t consider maintenance, how we can sustain this long term and what the solution is.

I recently found out the amount that is paid for my friend who has frequent respite care (their child also has Down Syndrome) and I was saying to her that I couldn’t believe how much it actually costs. Again, I don’t think people actually care about this though. They don’t care about the work that carers do and how much it’d cost if I had both children in full time care. They care that I, as an individual, can receive so much

This is an interesting thread and is another example of how the cost of housing and childcare distort every financial decision and calculation. This is for everyone but double for those who have children. Housing and childcare are broken.

The OP doesn't see 2k of the income. Caring for a child who will never live independently is work.

I suggest that you read one of my prior posts. I do not have 4 children

i assumed the maintenance but I didn’t dream up your benefits because you kindly laid them out for the world to see. Yes I do find it sickening that yourself and many many others take home more money through benefits than those who work. That’s a response shared by many. I feel cheated by the system tbh.

you seem to take generic comments to be aimed at yourself which is fine for you to do but I never said you. You have time to work, you are filling your time and topping up the income great. Many many people claim benefits and sit at home whilst their children are at school, people doing this should be made to volunteer during schools hours. Note I did not say should volunteer 9-5 but during the hours their children are in school. Give back a little. and yes, I am serious.

With respect, what you earn in benefits, is more than myself and many others take home from working full time. Not yourself but other people claiming no children with additional needs sitting home whilst their kids are at school. As someone who works full time knowing their taking home maybe £1800 in benefits so less than yourself, I’m better off by £100 odd quid and working 40 hours a week. Is the £100 worth it? No not really.

you have a unique set of circumstances it seems and I do believe you are entitled to a very high amount, higher than the normal. As I said you are just taking what you are entitled to but I do think the system is flawed in allowing such high entitlements.

Not to sound even more sorry for myself but I really do

The government should be creating a fully supported administration that ensures errant fathers are paying for their offspring rather than hard working tax payers who may be on the bones of the arse themselves but don’t use the benefit system.

It’s so unfair and immoral that it pays to be irresponsible and casual about bringing children into the world.

The problem is that it is so much higher than many people earn. So of course those who work ft and have a much smaller income are going to see it as a massive amount of money.

Threads like this always bring out the blue rinse brigade. The sort of people who begrudge a single mum with disabled children but I’m particularly horrified by the poster who said she wouldn’t mind having epilepsy because then at least she could snaffle some extra money. Unbelievable. Who on earth would put a price on good health in this context

I think one issue is that people often don’t realise the additional costs involved when you have disabled dc. So it’s all relative really as the ‘extra’ money is just eaten up by the costs being so much more . Travel to appointments , extra electricity for washing and drying things , private therapies because the nhs wait times are too long etc etc

Oh yes, they should just sit and wish that their children were disabled isn’t it? Without the disabilities, there would be no disabled child element, carer element or DLA. That means there’d be £1062 less. So are you really saying that people should wish that their children were disabled? Surely not

Yes I found that comment particularly shocking as well

I’m still going through the thread but so far, I see way less comments mentioning how much of the taxpayers money goes to private Landlord. Is that not much more of a bigger problem than a carer receiving money for her disabled children? The fact that the Landlord can receive £1450 straight from the taxpayers is mind boggling no? I guess it’s easier to have opinions on parent carers than looking at the bigger picture