I've reached my breaking point

[Debtshame]

Ex husband left me at the end of last year, he's eloped to somewhere abroad but thats a whole other thread 🙈

I am struggling to make my mortgage repayments after childcare, even with universal credit and DLA I always seem to have too much month and not enough money

My car, which I had on finance (wouldn't make that mistake again) was taken last week and I had a bailiff visit for unpaid council tax from 2013 last week- he came into my home without permission and listed the television and tumble dryer as controlled goods agreement (despite getting the tumble dryer via the family fund )

I am on my knees financially and don't know where to go for help, I'm at risk of losing the house, and my job is in financial services so potentially my job as well

I am suffering from stress related alopecia now and barely eating or sleeping because I live in fear of the next nock at the door, today I recieved an email from the same bailiffs who are recovering the council tax with regards to an unpaid parking ticket and this feels like the final straw

Thankyou for reading

Hi OP,
I wondered if you have updated your universal credit claim to let them know your children get DLA and you are a carer for them. You get additional amounts for them this being the case and a carers element too.

This universal credit element is different from "carers allowance" which you wouldn't get due to your earnings.

You are doing an amazing job!

If you can get your income up by claiming everything you are entitled to I wonder if your employer offers a low rate loan to their employees which you could use to get a cheap car. My employer (a local authority) has recently started doing these. Deductions would be from wages I think so it is important you can cover your outgoings from what is left. Hopefully you will find you are entitled to more universal credit.

If you are entitled to additional universal credit ask if they will backdate assuming your children have been in receipt of DLA a while.

Not if they can't find him. He's not in the UK.

Could you move your son to a childminder? They don't charge the extras in top of the free hours so my childcare bill was so much lower. Nowhere near £1300 more like £500

Alot of misguided folk on here, but also a few wise ones!

I spend £100 on shopping when I'm buying meat and cleaning stuff so I can believe you have tried to cut this. When we first came back to UK in 2017 we paid £60 for aldi shop for 2 adults 2 kids.... We're now 2 adults and 2 teens but only in holiday time. Food is soooo expensive now.

I just wanted to ask about the 2013 council tax, that's an expired debt!? And why now....??

I would also contact the family fund to say you are desperate and council appointed bailiffs have nominated the washer you got from them as available to repossess, so could they be aware their support is being taken by council and let council know what they think?
then I’d contact council every day or so- sometimes a call and busy days just a template email -something around.
‘your debt has been passed’ is really poor language - you, council x, passed it. You can recall it. You choose not to. The debt collectors you have appointed have marked things given me by the family fund to keep my family going as available for you to collect on my debt; I’ve let the family fund know they are lining your pockets rather than providing actually charity. You could stop this, you choose not to. This is my regular contact desperately asking you for some support, rather than what you have done which is ensure I have no way to climb out of this hole. I’ve told you my husband left us and went overseas so he doesn’t have to pay for his children, I need to work out a way to get by on my own, but I can’t while you keep making things worse for us. My children are <age> and <age> and you’re making us homeless. Don’t tell me it’s out of your hands. This is fully in your hands.

Definitely contact stepchange. And if your kids are little enough- reach out to your health visitor- they sometimes have access to things one off top ups for electricity (if you use a prepayment meter) or foodbank vouchers.

hope you get it all sorted.

I just wanted to ask about the 2013 council tax, that's an expired debt!? And why now

Unfortunately if she's acknowledged the debt as hers it's now valid again. Debts expire after 6yrs but you have to then continue to ignore them and refuse to engage with anyone about them or pay anything towards them. Sometimes companies do come crawling out of the woodwork years later trying to get you to repay an ancient debt.

For anyone reading I'm tired so haven't explained well, and it's not all debts that are wiped out after 6yrs there are rules as to what qualifies.

When I was struggling when I first became a single parent I shopped at Farmfoods for as much as I could & only went to the supermarket for things like fresh meat, milk & veg. I got things like pizzas for £1, ideal for Friday night movies, tins of beans, tomatoes, soups, tomato sauce, salad cream, biscuits, bacon, fish fingers, burgers, frozen chips, frozen veg, herbs, spices, curry sauces, Pop, toilet & kitchen roll, cleaning stuff,washing powder & fabric conditioner. I could do a weeks shop for under £50 & have things left for the week after. One week a month, we lived out of the freezer & cupboards, so any money I would have spent on food went towards the bills. If bailiffs come to the door, don't let them in, keep the chain on the door. You can apply for a budget loan through the DWP, you pay it back through your UC over 2 years, no interest, with 2 dc you can borrow up to £812. Check all your bills to see if you can get social tariffs, look on moneysavingexpert.com for more information. Have you claimed a reduction in your water for having a disabled dc who has continence problems? Contact your water provider.

It does happen @CombatBarbie

I moved from a rented property to a house I bought in spring 2005, around May. I had paid the council tax on the rental property but there must have been a couple of weeks unpaid and that was in 2005. I was chased for it ten years later (they said ‘we have been trying to find you’ - I hope they don’t work for a detective company as my unusual name and photo along with my email address were clearly available at the school I worked at!)

The bailiffs are very persistent and the council won’t speak with you once the debt is passed to the bailiffs. They have lucrative contracts with the bailiff companies.

A very minor suggestion, but since purchasing a heated throw, I've barely needed my heating on. It costs about 5p per hour to run. I hope you get sorted-you sound like a brilliant mum.

I haven't read the full thread yet so apologies if this has already been mentioned but my understanding is all mortgage providers now have to allow you to go interest only for up to six months if you request it.

Oh that's a good point regarding emailing the council thankyou!

My son is currently with a childminder, they do charge me an extra sustainability fee

I tend to shop in farmfoods/aldi but where the food costs have risen I am struggling to get this down

also am unable to get a budgeting loan as I earn too much

Heated throw sounds a good plan, we've all been making good use of our snoodies which are possibly one of the warmest hoodie I've ever worn and would probably wear outside of the house if I didn't think people would judge 🙈

Not read the whole thread as I'm at work but PLEASE contact your local MP and councillor. I'm a local councillor and there's no way I wouldn't be going in swinging at our finance department for the way they've treated you. Your MP should be able to go straight the DWP and cut the bureaucratic crap to get you what you're fully entitled to. No fucking way should you be getting bailiffs and the threat of power cut offs when you have disabled children.

There's loads of good advice on here but I urge you strongly to talk to Christians Against Poverty, they are really good with debt management.
Citizens Advice will be able to steer you towards lots of grants for clothes and other things.
Have you tried Olio and Foodiverse? It's a food distribution app and restaurants often give away food as well as shops getting rid of stuff that's going out of date.

I don't know where you are but lots of councils have a Local Walfare Assistance fund which will help you with the cost of fuel and other things. There's also a government fund that will wipe any fuel/power debt, I'll have a dig and see if I can find it.

Thankyou so much!

Council have said I'm not eligible for any assistance from their HAF due to my earnings

Good call on the writing to the MP tho, I will send them an email today and I'm going to call christians against poverty this afternoon as well

CAP are going to call me this morning and my local MP has called me and is going to contact the council directly to discuss this on my behalf, will update again later but thanks so much for all your suggestions!

Have applied for a repayment holiday on my mortgage also which, If nothing else will allow for a bit of breathing space whilst I try to get on top of my finances a bit more

Apologies, I posted something here a moment ago but I was confusing your thread with another poster who was homeless in a b and b.

The MP will be able to help address your CT issues, by referring you to the correct people in your LA.

You say you’re using snoodies etc and I appreciate you’re on a prepayment metre which is a higher cost, but £300 a month for electricity alone on a 2 bed house when you also have gas seems very high.
Are you on a prepayment metre due to previous bad debt or is this a hangover from the previous owner. Unless a bad debt it seems unusual for a homeowner to have a prepayment meter . Maybe get in touch with your supplier and ask for a normal meter.

No debt,I'm waiting for them to install smart meters so I can change to a normal tariff x

Great progress OP,

Sorry if I have missed this info - has your universal credit claim definitely been updated to show your children receive DLA and you are a carer? This entitles you to more money.

I believe you claim childcare rebates?

Are you asking them to spread the tax credit overpayment over a longer period?

The mortgage break or even interest only for a time will be a great help.

Sometimes food pantries do a drop off for people at work. Contact your local one (where the day is not possible because you are at work) to see if they can help you with a work around. You need to eat/keep your strength up and accept kindness until you are in a position to pay it forward.

You are doing great exploring all avenues - keep going. If some of the suggestions on the thread work out you will turn this around and get to a balanced budget.

Please check your UC statement, OP, that amount seems very low.

Your calculation should include the standard allowance, 2 x child elements, 2 x disabled child elements, carer's element, plus 85% of your childcare costs (unless you're doing tax-free childcare through work, in which case you may be better off switching to getting it covered by UC).

And you should be getting the higher work allowance, so £631 of your net earnings should be disregarded and only around £550 deducted from the total of all the elements and allowances.

Something has been missed out, I reckon. And UC rates will be going up, so your next but one UC payment should be higher. Not loads higher, but it should help.

Also check if you're eligible for some help with your council tax, each council runs its own scheme now, so they vary, but with 2 children with disabilities there's a fair chance you'd qualify.

Thanks I will check with UC that I'm getting everything I should be

My local council takes full UC as income so I'm not eligible for any discounts other than single person despite them previously allowing childcare costs ad a deductible expense whrn I was on Tax Credits i can't get my head around how it works !

How much childcare do you need if both are at school? How flexible is your work? Would they allow you to pick them up ( off the clock obviously) after school and bring them home? If they're old enough they can then watch telly for an hour or so/ do homework while you finish up?

I am just thinking of options that may help, the childcare bill sounds very high.