I've reached my breaking point

[Debtshame]

Ex husband left me at the end of last year, he's eloped to somewhere abroad but thats a whole other thread 🙈

I am struggling to make my mortgage repayments after childcare, even with universal credit and DLA I always seem to have too much month and not enough money

My car, which I had on finance (wouldn't make that mistake again) was taken last week and I had a bailiff visit for unpaid council tax from 2013 last week- he came into my home without permission and listed the television and tumble dryer as controlled goods agreement (despite getting the tumble dryer via the family fund )

I am on my knees financially and don't know where to go for help, I'm at risk of losing the house, and my job is in financial services so potentially my job as well

I am suffering from stress related alopecia now and barely eating or sleeping because I live in fear of the next nock at the door, today I recieved an email from the same bailiffs who are recovering the council tax with regards to an unpaid parking ticket and this feels like the final straw

Thankyou for reading

Nappies for older children? (Making an assumption here based on the DLA). If so, I know they are expensive but you should be able to get them on prescription from the incontinence team.

You can certainly reduce your food shop bill. Credit cards can be consolidated by arrangement with stepchange or similar. Not sure about car payments but I think they can.

Have you contacted the council to arrange a payment plan? Again, stepchange can help.

I know with £1000 after mortgage/childcare isn't going to be living large, but it is doable. But you'll need help to sort it all out with the finance companies. Stepchange really are your best bet.

Contact your council and make them aware that you are vulnerable, you have children with additional needs that you are a carer for. Ask them to recall your debt from the bailiffs due to your circumstances. Are you claiming the single person discount?

Contact your mortgage lender and do the same. Ask your lender what support they can offer you, some lenders will reduce interest, offer arrangements to pay etc. Which lender are you with as some are better than others.

Do the same with your utilities supplier and and other creditors.

Pay non secured credit after all priority debts but try to negotiate with them, make them aware of your circumstances.

Contact stepchange ASAP, they may be able to negotiate with your creditors on your behalf.

Good luck

Sadly it doesn't work like that.

Childcare is a huge bill, unless you get that down you are not going to get your head above water. What other options are there ?

I called them to ask this and was told they wouldn't do that!

My gas and electricity are on pre payment meters and I've been topping them up but that costs about 300 a month in electricity alone

Nappies are for my 3 year old, he's got a bowel condition and I've been told can't get a prescription for these just yet - my only saving grace that since he started getting 30 hours of childcare is my childcare has reduced from 2100

Any suggestions on how to reduce my food shopping bill would be greatly recieved also - I currently by a lot of the supermarket essentials rang and I have 2 out of 3 children who will only eat certain foods - I've not had a proper meal in about 5 days as payday is not until next week I've been having cereal for breakfast lunch and tea (not looking for sympathy, just to give you an idea )

If you work in finance, is there any support through work you can access. A family member works for a bank and they do debt counselling for staff, plus there’s the bank workers benevolent fund.

Oooo I will find out! Will log on once kids are asleep and havr a look on the Intranet! Will also ring StepChange tommorow

You should check your UC award unless you have deductions other than your earnings because it is lower than expected for someone with standard allowance, 2 child elements, 2 severely disabled child elements, a carer element, childcare element and earnings of £1600.

Don't quote me on this OP, but I believe once you've been on UC for 3 months, you can claim help with your mortgage interest in the form of an interest free loan. I believe it can be paid back at a point in the future when the house is sold, but please double check this.

Some really good advice here! Check with mortgage first to see if you can go interest only for a while, if not UC will help with mortgage payments after a set amount of time, but I have a feeling you need to have nil earnings?
As @Headfirstintothewild says; I would expect you to be getting a lot more on UC; have you got all the correct elements? Single adult, 2x child elements, carers element, 2x severe disabled child elements and you'll also have a a higher work allowance as you aren't claiming rent.
Are the getting the 25% council tax reduction? Are you getting your water reduction due to having 3 or more children?
Is it worth dropping a day at work for a while so you can reduce childcare costs and also then claim free school meals, free prescriptions etc.
Good luck. Please let us know how you get on!

Cerebra has a model letter on their website for when you have been refused a continence assessment because of DC’s age.

Please speak to Stepchange x

First of all I just want to say you are a truly amazing mum - looking after two disabled children and working! I have one with mid rate DLA and know how tiring it is doing some caring and working -hats off to you for managing this.
Probably obvious things you're already doing, but just in case of any help

1. Are you getting the reduced rate of council tax for single adult?
2. Are you using tax free childcare?
3. If the child(ren) you claim DLA for is at school, do they have an EHCP? If so your LA should cover the transport costs to and from school, either with them organising it (minibus or taxi) or you could get a personalised transport budget.
4. Are you eligible for free insulation/ boiler replacement to more energy efficient one? This could reduce monthly electricity and gas bill.
5. If no luck with stepchange I'd also recommend "Christians against poverty" https://capuk.org/ if they have anyone in your area (you don't have to be religeous to have their support). Recently they helped a family friend who eas in a lot of debt.

I think your UC is way off with all the elements you have. I've just checked and you can get SMI (support for mortgage interest) whilst earning. I know you're not entitled to carer's allowance as you're over the income threshold, but have they added carer's element to your claim, as you're entitled to that.

My calculations say with your earnings, you should be getting about double what you are in UC, you urgently need someone to run a benefit check for you.

OP would be better with the childcare element of UC than tax free childcare. Transport doesn’t rely on having an EHCP, it can be provided without.

Ah yes, I stand corrected, please listen to Headfirstintothewild about the childcare element of UC better than tax free childcare. The transport without EHCP is more dependent on distance to school at least in my LA, they expect parents to do 2 × 4 mile round trips without EHCP in my LA. But check your local offer. It's an area many areas are trying to cut costs on unfortunately.

The transport without EHCP is more dependent on distance to school at least in my LA, they expect parents to do 2 × 4 mile round trips without EHCP in my LA.

@cartin this is your LA acting unlawfully. For pupils with SEND who are unable to walk to school, the statutory walking distances do not apply.

UC always seem to calculate a different amount for childcare plus I have a couple of repayments on there for a tax credit over payment ?!

My eldest recently moved school, it is within walking distance but it starts five minutes before my middle child's school (which is a twenty minute walk between the schools)

Thankyou to everyone who has taken the time to read and reply, I feel a small weight has been lifted just by writing it down and discussing it with people on here and some really useful tips I will get onto the practicalities tommorow

I'm so worried about people judging me my house currently looks like a pig sty because my mental health has plummeted and to the outside everyone thinks I have this fantastic life when the reality is I sit and cry in silence on an evening to try and save electricity I keep the telly etc off

Oh ask for lower monthly repayments for the tax credit over payments. Say its causing you hardship

Could you look at remortgaging and extending the length of your mortgage to bring the monthly cost down? You could always shorten it again later when you're in a better place.

Don't answer the door to debt collectors, and keep both your front and back door locked at all times because they will just walk in

Please try this charity if you work in financial services, especially if your company is in anyway associated with the CII

https://www.theinsurancecharities.org.uk/

also please use other services - food banks etc if needed.

so sorry you’ve been forced into this position.

Ask for a mortgage holiday for 3 months. Then interest only for 6-9 months. I think mortgage companies are supposed to give customers up to 1 year. Would this mean your DC went to school by then or got some subsidised childcare hours? Sometimes it is just getting through until the expensive childcare years are passed.

Have you severed all financial ties to ex ? Don't want him turning up and making claims.

No financial ties to ex , thankfully, I owned this house prior to him coming on the scene and I don't think he would have the knowledge to assist him in making a claim

Thankyou again, great suggestions, hadn't thought about extending mortgage !

Youngest DC is due to start school this September but pending paeds next appointment may need to defer for another year