I've reached my breaking point

[Debtshame]

Ex husband left me at the end of last year, he's eloped to somewhere abroad but thats a whole other thread 🙈

I am struggling to make my mortgage repayments after childcare, even with universal credit and DLA I always seem to have too much month and not enough money

My car, which I had on finance (wouldn't make that mistake again) was taken last week and I had a bailiff visit for unpaid council tax from 2013 last week- he came into my home without permission and listed the television and tumble dryer as controlled goods agreement (despite getting the tumble dryer via the family fund )

I am on my knees financially and don't know where to go for help, I'm at risk of losing the house, and my job is in financial services so potentially my job as well

I am suffering from stress related alopecia now and barely eating or sleeping because I live in fear of the next nock at the door, today I recieved an email from the same bailiffs who are recovering the council tax with regards to an unpaid parking ticket and this feels like the final straw

Thankyou for reading

Are you getting social tariffs for everything?

Make sure you get a benefit check from a qualified benefit adviser.

Maybe also contact Gingerbread https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/talk-to-us/

And potentially HomeStart too

So sorry you are going through this and what an amazing mum you are.

As many others have said please contact Stepchange or CAP.
It might also be worth a chat with your employer. We give out interest free loans to employees in situations like this to help clear up some of the more expensive debts x

Definitely request the UC deductions (other than earnings) are reduced. They are far too high (more than half your total entitlement).

Glad to hear you're going to ring StepChange. They might be able to help with Breathing Space where you can get (I think) 60 days breathing space from your creditors.

This'll give you some space to get things in order and sort out a plan with the. The advisors are lovely by the way!

Best of luck OP.

@Debtshame my mortgage provider offer mortgages until 70 as long as you're planning to work until then and also a holiday whereby you get interest only for 6 months. See if yours does similar.

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You could consider contacting your local children centre or family hub, they are a wealth of knowledge and support families in these situations whether it is through referrals for support, advocating for you or making sure you have everything you are entitled to xx

sounds tough. I hope you’ve got some support in real life - your neighbour sounds kind.

I just wanted to send virtual support. My circumstances are different but I currently do two jobs to meet my financial commitments. I can relate to your anxiety. It's stressful.
Sounds like you've had some good advice here. Hope some of the suggestions can take the edge off for you.

Tax credits tell you they only allow 2 years to repay any overpayment.. This isn't true.. I have spent 9 years paying mine off @15 a month!!

Council tax. Single adult discount? Have you applied, backdated to the date your ex left? See if your current bill can be split over 12 months instead of the usual 10 months.
Water bills. Ask about social tariffs for households where a member has a disability.
Mobile phone. Are you out of contract? Get a SIM only deal.
Review all your direct debits. Can you get cheaper insurance for example?
Does your union offer financial help?
Do a benefits check using entitledto or s similar website.
Do you have the right tax code? Is there anything you can claim the tax back on?

i would recommend putting your details into the website ‘entitled to’ its pretty accurate with regards to benefits.
in terms of childcare they should pay most of the costs.
From the information provided you should be receiving standard allowance which is approximately £368, child element and possibly extra if your children have disabilities. Then childcare up to 85% of the costs up to £1700.
Housing you won’t get support for mortgage interest for a year.
i would recommend ringing UC re your debt repayments they may be able to reduce them or in some cases give you a three to 6 months break. You may be able to get a budgeting advance also.

It seems to me that this is largely a short term crisis as you overall income is not low at all and there is lots you can do until your child starts school and you stop those childcare fees.

Extend mortgage or switch to interest only for a couple of years.
sort payment plans at minimum for debts to stop bailiffs
organise food shop by meal planning batch cooking, maybe food bank.
see if your work can help.
be super disciplined re spending track every penny.
look for at home / evening work Google everything to find any viable options.
Hold on to your house anyway you can renting will be harder..
Time will sort your problems.

This. I used breathing space a couple of years ago and it gave me a couple of months to make arrangements to pay and I could finally relax without the worry of calls or visits. Definitely call stepchange.

The bailiff we had at the time said it wouldn't affect them and they'd still be coming to my house but they didn't. They did arrive the week it ended so make sure you get a good plan in place if you do go down this route. We managed to get a payment plan but I know how difficult they are to deal with.

Sympathies OP, I know how hard it is.

I don’t think the amount of UC is right at all on the info you’ve given.

Contact mortgage provider and explain you are struggling. Perhaps you can change rate/term/change to interest only for a period of time to reduce payments

Can you change work hours to reduce childcare? Can you negotiate a salary increase or work any overtime to increase income

Contact Step change

Pull together your last 3 bank statements or info from internet banking and review all outgoings. Can you change energy tariffs? Reduce any payments by cancelling subscriptions etc?

Can you meal plan? I find I spend less if I plan meals for the week as opposed to just buying my weekly shop without a shopping list and a plan of what to make

Apart from speaking to someone at a debt advice charity, and looking at the beat the bailiffs page on FB, I just wanted to send you my sympathy OP, it sounds so hard. I hope they can give you some relief from all the pressure you are under.

See if your workplace has an employee assistance program.
this can offer debt advice, counselling etc
it’s usually an external company so separate from your workplace.

I'm in awe of you managing to hold down a job and look after everyone while dealing with all this, you are an amazing woman and mum! Some really good suggestions on here to go to for help and advice, I hope they help 🤞 💐

I don’t have useful advice, but bloody hell, you sound superhuman. X

Regarding SMI, it clearly states here:

"Payments can start if you’ve got Universal Credit for 3 months in a row."

Please read this @Debtshame, it will explain how you can get help with your mortgage. And please find someone to do a benefits check ASAP, I'm positive your UC figure is way under what is should be.

https://www.gov.uk/support-for-mortgage-interest/what-youll-get

OP just to echo the other posters, you sound like you’re doing an amazing job of being a mum and holding down a job.

When I feel overwhelmed I find it helps to make lists of what I need to do and prioritise the jobs. You will get through this.

Is there someone IRL you can talk to about your situation, I would also let your employer know that you’re under a lot of pressure and see what help and support they can offer.

Interest only on your mortgage isn't ideal but in your situation I'd consider it. If your lender signed up to the mortgage charter you can swap to interest only for 6 months no questions asked, no impact on your credit file. Alternatively if you tell them the full picture they really will try to help you. They should tell you all your options.

Not read the full thread but claim your childcare back via uc

I'm hoping you use an ofsted registered setting?

If so, you can claim upto 85% of it back!

Please please please look into this

As above re mortgage, contact your mortgage company to explain the situation. They are usually very good with understanding and finding a solution.