Credit card debt but no card

[Cryingemoji]

Hi all

Currently paying off a large credit card debt but now separated from husband.

I'm only listed as an additional card holder, so am I equally liable for the debt?

Also when we began repaying the cards we cut them up & I have no details about the account. How can I find out who owes what?

Thank you.

But only pay what you have spent.

Definitely don't keep the joint account. Your new bank can assist with any Direct Debits you need to transfer - which he should have done with his credit card bill.

I would contact the Credit Card Company in writing and inform them you are no longer an Additional Card Holder. As it wasn't you that entered into the Credit Agreement you are not liable for any repayments. However, people are right that your husband could take you to Court for the money saying it was your debt and a joint account would be evidence of that.

Don't let him emotionally abuse you. He's set himself up separately from you and is basically asking you to meet his debts! Pay off the £250 and organise the shutdown of your old account. Transfer the monies to your new account if he's being awkward and then tell him you are happy to give him half of any balance. If it's a joint account he still has the power to take all the money and anything you put into it. Organise UC and find out how much Child Maintenance he should be paying. He may be saying he's paying you the £1500 in CM because he actually should be paying you more than £500.

Sounds like very good advice

He's arranged for his pay to go into his new account, but has agreed to transfer it back across to our joint account to pay for all our direct debits.

"to pay for all our direct debits" - What does this mean OP?

Yes don't annoy him until money has gone in there, for the £250 overdraft to be paid off. That's not the same as trusting him. Then immediately there's no overdraft, contact the bank, explain you've split up and need the account closed or frozen or at the very least for there to be no credit facility attached (ie no overdraft of any description possible and no credit cards attached to the account).

If there's anything you need to pay that's in your name and it's currently coming out of the joint account, contact the company concerned and set up a new direct debit from your new account. If this means transferring some money from the joint account into your new account before closing it, do that.

Why do you both have joint direct debits? Or does he mean your DDs and his DDs? You need to stop sharing an account with him ASAP. If there's genuine joint debts, that you are legally liable for, in joint names (not this additional cardholder thing), then for now at least he's going to have to pay them from his account, because you have no income. He can't insist on maintaining a joint account with you if you don't want one.

Are you currently sharing a house with him, living together?

If you haven't already put in a claim for UC do it right now. It doesn't get backdated to when you split up, only backdated to the date you make the claim and it takes time for your first payment to come through. You can update the bank account information with them when you've closed the joint account. You need money to live on and from this thread you appear to currently have none.

Do you even know what savings accounts he has, how much pension, what his wages are, what debts are in his name, what debts are in your name, any investments in either of your names etc?

If you're not living together, have you removed your name from any utilities bills, rental agreement or council tax? You need to do this. At the moment he's calling all the shots. Don't passively sit back and let him. It's unlikely he's operating in your best interests.

I'm glad you have a new current account. Have you informed the child benefit people to pay it in there? If not, do that now.

I've read an earlier post of yours OP. Has he moved out of the family home?

If so, get him removed from the council tax and claim single adult discount, then claim council tax benefit, which is separate from UC I think. Put a claim in ASAP.

If he's on the utility bills in the family home but not living there, then he's not going to want to be paying towards them and he doesn't have to. Go read the meters. He will be contacting them to remove his name from those bills assuming it's in joint names or to close the accounts if it's in his sole name. They'll need a meter reading from when you took over the bills. If you've no income and he's still paying them, don't rush yourself to tell them he's not going to. He can do that himself you're not his admin assistant and if he ends up paying those bills for a while longer than he has to, that's on him. In an ideal world you'd just contact the companies and get the bills in your sole name, but don't do that if you have zero income.

Do you realize just how financially vulnerable you are? Do you realize UC takes weeks to sort out? You might need to look into getting a foodbank voucher. Ask the DC school, they should know how to go about getting a referral. You can't sit around waiting for citizens advice bureau to call you back. You need action now.

If the only money you have to live on is what's in the joint account then transfer it to your account. Consider taking all of it, because once you close the account and refuse to let him be in control of everything he's going to turn on you anyway. Then close the account or freeze it, if possible. It's marital money and while it's in a joint account it's yours as much as it's his anyway.

One more thing for him to accuse you of isn't going to make any difference. "She cleared out all the joint account and stole it all!" The cry of every man everywhere (unless he did it himself!) but they never mention all the shady things they've been up to, their secret savings they won't admit to in the divorce, the marital money spent on their mistress, their gambling losses etc. Or the reasons for the marriage breakdown, which often involves the woman being shafted somehow - eg him cheating, abusive behaviour, lazy etc.

You need something to live on. You can't be playing nicey-nice while he's spending his income on a new home and personal debt, and you're left with no money other than child maintenance.

He's fully liable as far as the card company are concerned.but if you aren't yet divorced he may well ask for this coat to be factored in any divorce settlement. If that already out the window then I'd stop paying and tell him you've took advise from a solicitor and they have advised the debt is not yours to pay.

Hi thank you for the amazing advice.

Yes we are currently still living together. He moves out in three weeks.

The direct debits are currently all in his name, but some of them will be mine to take on for example my car insurance and bills for my home.

I have set up my own new bank account but I do need to transfer my child benefit, thanks for the reminder.

Is it worth applying for UC as I'm applying for jobs and don't think I'll be entitled to UC once I'm working full time?

Yes the situation is dire, I'm extremely vulnerable and will be relying on family support until I can get a job.

Tell him to pay the £1000 off the debt directly himself, why would he give it to you and expect you to pay it if the debt is in his name??

Tell him you don’t want the money touching your account as it prevents you claiming benefits.
mot doesn’t make any sense for him to pay you and trust you to forward it off the debt.

Yes definitely apply for UC, you have no idea how long it'll take you to find a job and until you do you have no money to live on. No money for any work related clothes you need to buy or for the travel fees and you won't get paid until you've been there a month. You're entitled to UC and mad if you don't claim it. Even if you get a job really soon and it's only one week's worth, it's yours. Don't rely on family support when you don't have to. First it's unfair to family to take from them when you have an alternative and second, if you take from them now what are you going to do if a real emergency arises and you need some financial help? They'll have nothing left to offer you. If UC want to cut you off when you find full time work that's ok, but what if you're wrong and are still entitled to something? There's no point in struggling unnecessarily.

And make sure you dig into his finances before he moves out and takes all the paperwork with him. Hopefully he's not hiding anything but he's already behaving weird about money. Find out everything for yourself, don't expect to ask him at a later date and expect he tells you honestly and transparently. Divorce doesn't work like that very often!

1. Accept the £500 - he is verbally saying that he will pay £500 + £1,000, but he is stacking up evidence that he is giving YOU £1,500.
2. By you paying the card off, you are accepting liability for the debt, providing the creditor evidence that you have accepted liability - when he stops paying they will use this to come after you.
3. Close the joint account - he could pay the money in and then take it out. By having a joint account, you really are saying that you still have a joint financial liability. Tell your bank why, and that you will no longer have any liabilities towards him. You could change banks using the switch to get the cash back. You may also find that the credit card company have a DD mandate and they could take money, putting the account into overdraft - and you will be liable for that.
4. Write to the credit card company letting them know that you are no longer a card holder, and that you have no further interest in the account or liability for it. (If you do not have the details, your bank will be able to advise you if you have been paying from the joint account, as you can request payee details).

Absolutely do not keep the joint account, open a new one in your name only and only add standing orders / direct debits to your own debts, then when you can make payments to him for debts etc, also have you checked the CMS website to see hwo much chidk support you are entitled to?

You should also be entitled to spousal support so make sure you include that when you talk to CMS

I’d suggest you book an appointment with the bank to remove yourself from the account the day he gets paid. He will need t be there if you are closing it completely but you may be able to remove yourself and set up your own without him. Be so very careful you don’t up responsible for his debt by ‘helping’ him with any payments.

Apply for UC, you may be entitled to some even if you are working and it is there if you need it, it takes 5 weeks to be processed and the job market it stunted unless you want certain roles which don't tend to be the highest paying

Thanks for replying.

I've applied for Universal Credit today but I've been told on another forum that they won't look favourably on the application as our finances are still tangled, so it will appear we're not actually separated..

Do not forget to apply for council tax reduction the day he moves out. You get about 20% off immediately if you are the only adult in the home. You may be able to get more income related, but you can do this straight away. And get him to fill out a new address for voting, so he goes off your address. This will help to show separation.

I don’t think a joint debt counts as having entangled finances.
But if the debt is in his name ask him to pay it and close all joint accounts.

Yes but you've got a claim in now. The date is whatever it is. So once the finances are untangled, which they soon will be when you're removed from the joint account/it's frozen/closed down, and the claim is finalised, it'll be backdated to the date of your claim. It just might take a little longer than usual to sort out.

Meanwhile if that doesn't happen quickly enough and the claim is processed as you being entitled to whatever based on his wages, maybe you'll still get something even if it's just £1 (because TBH he doesn't sound like a high earner if he's going to struggle to pay his bills and his debts (maybe that's why he's trying to offload a debt onto you) so you may still come under the threshold for UC. Then when the finances are untangled, because you already have a claim you just update it and your next payment increases, no waiting time for processing because the claim is already in place.

I'm not sure that poster is correct about spousal maintenance I'm not sure it's a thing in UK and CMS I don't think would deal with it if it was, it's more something ordered by the divorce court I think. Maybe I'm wrong though 🤷

Also if you need official evidence of separation then get s CMS claim in right away too (or maybe wait until he's paid into that joint account to avoid pissing him off). It's not much use him randomly giving you £500 that's not evidence of anything much. You wouldn't have a CMS claim against him if you were still together though, so do as a previous poster suggested and file an official claim to build up that evidence of separation.

Thanks for your reply.

I'm reluctant to go down the official route for CM as he's offered me £500 rather than the £300 I'd be entitled to. But I get what you're saying about it helping with the separation and it would formalise things so he has to keep to the arrangement..

My CM started as an informal agreement. XH pays a bit more than CMS would ask. However, it needs to be a separate payment so that as you go it independently, you can evidence that payment as CM. We didn’t agree the amount XH would pay within the financial settlement. He didn’t want to be expected to pay a set amount in case his finances changed and I didn’t want him to be paying the same amount in 8 years‘ time because he might be earning more/DD’s needs might change. But yes, separate payment so it’s clear it’s CM and it needs to go into your individual bank account.

If you are not working, as before, I would strongly suggest that you speak to a solicitor. I have a court financial order for combined maintenance. This is both spousal and child support together with no differentiating between the two. Your bills are going to be a lot more than £500 a month for you and your child especially at it seems that you are likely to end up as the default parents (reading between the lines). You need to get it done before he has the chance to add to the debts.

OP have you seen a solicitor yet? You're not going to be able to sort out a divorce without one and get a fair settlement. It's good your ex is willing to pay more child maintenance than he has to so I see why you'd rather keep things informal at the moment, but he could change his mind about that at any time so you can't rely on it. It sort of shows decency but at the same time it's not very decent if he is doing this to try to pull the wool over your eyes while trying to shaft you for a debt. Or maybe he's not trying to be unreasonable but is as clueless about how to sort things out as you are and doesn't realize the impact his suggestions would have on you. You can't rely on it though, you don't know what is going through his mind. There's no point putting off getting a solicitor though, you're going to need one. It's not an aggressive "I'll take you for every penny!" type of thing, it's just part of the process. You need their advice to ensure things are as fairly divided as possible. So as your family are willing to help you, why not ask for money to get the solicitor started? I hope he doesn't change into being a total dickhead and that the divorce ends up getting sorted out amicably. Maybe you'll even get spousal maintenance like the posters above.

Are aware of the "entitled to" calculator? When you apply for a job you can put in your hypothetical new circumstances and see how UC would be affected, so you can plan and budget more easily for your future.

Thanks so much for the replies.

@Hairdyemistake no I haven't seen a solicitor yet. The potential costs scare me, I don't know how I can expect my parents to fund it for me. But I know I'm not going to get far without one. He has a very healthy private pension which he has accrued during our marriage, that will need taking into account.

I've had a look at the 'entitled to' calculator and it looks like any UC would potentially half when I'm working, but I'd still be ultimately better off.

He needs to pay this money directly off his debts.