Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

Credit card debt but no card

146 replies

Cryingemoji · 01/03/2024 05:07

Hi all

Currently paying off a large credit card debt but now separated from husband.

I'm only listed as an additional card holder, so am I equally liable for the debt?

Also when we began repaying the cards we cut them up & I have no details about the account. How can I find out who owes what?

Thank you.

OP posts:
Peaceandquietandacuppa · 04/03/2024 10:59

Use the excuse of applying for universal credit as a reason that you need to close the joint account.

Seek legal advice - maybe woman’s aid can signpost. Or citizens advice or somewhere.

Apply for Universal Credit and get the child maintenance calculation done officially. Clean break will help all round.

How much you owe almost don’t matter. It’s how much you can afford to pay towards them, based on your earning

Smerpsmorp · 04/03/2024 11:03

RedDuffle · 04/03/2024 09:00

But it's niggling me, I can't help but think he's trying to con me into paying debts that's aren't mine.

But then...

Yes we did run up the debt jointly

Morally if you ran the debts up together you should definitely help him pay them off! What do you mean that he's trying to con you into paying debts that aren't yours if you know you ran them up together? 😕

Exactly this - it sounds as though you’ve realised that the debt isn’t in your name and therefore trying to wiggle out of being responsible for them.

i don’t know the full story, but if you’ve not been working I guess the debt has been supporting you - although I guess if you hadn’t been together you maybe would have been entitled to UC. It’s hard to say who is responsible without the full picture, but I’d say if you’ve benefited from the debt the right thing to do is to contribute towards paying it off.

NeedToChangeName · 04/03/2024 11:04

Two separate issues -

(1) can the credit company pursue you?
(2) when untangling your / DH's joint finances, how should the debt be settled between the two of you?

Original poster
Cryingemoji · 04/03/2024 11:16

Smerpsmorp · 04/03/2024 11:03

Exactly this - it sounds as though you’ve realised that the debt isn’t in your name and therefore trying to wiggle out of being responsible for them.

i don’t know the full story, but if you’ve not been working I guess the debt has been supporting you - although I guess if you hadn’t been together you maybe would have been entitled to UC. It’s hard to say who is responsible without the full picture, but I’d say if you’ve benefited from the debt the right thing to do is to contribute towards paying it off.

Show quote history

Thanks for all the replies everyone.

I understand that it does appear I'm trying to wriggle out of things. I guess I am to an extent as I have no income and he's working and in receipt of a pension.

Once I get a job I can look at making my own contributions.

Just focusing on the here and now at the moment.

OP posts:
EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 04/03/2024 11:23

Hairdyemistake · 03/03/2024 12:24

15k is alot of debt and unfair if you ran this up together. I appreciate you dont have a job but speak with ExH about a payment plan when you do get a job, hopefully he will be amicable about that. If you divorce then a judge may rule that its joint debt and you'll be liable then anyway!

Credit card debt accumulated during the marriage would be factored into a financial agreement.

And with OP being so skint she has o claim UC, dealing with the debt as part of the financial settlement is the best thing for her to do. Not depriving herself in the here and now of money she needs to live on, in order to pay a debt that's not in her name and that she won't be chased for by debt collection.

OP, get your name removed as an additional account/card holder. Do it yourself don't expect your ex to do it for you. If you have the name of the company you can Google for a phone number/call them for an address to write to. Then tell them verbally and in writing that they need to remove you as a second card holder because you no longer have/want a card. They can use your name and address the account is registered at to search their database and find the correct account. Although they may not give you any account details I suppose in case you're a fraudster. Removing your name shouldn't be fraud though because it doesn't fundamentally alter anything. The main account holder is still on it and he's the one liable for meeting payments.

My bank told me they would need XH permission as the account holder to remove me as an additional card holder. There isn't any outstanding debt on the card from before separation, bastard just won't take me off because he knows I don't want to be on there. I did point out to him I could run up debt in his name, didn't bother him, probably because he knows I wouldn't actually do that.

With the joint account, ours was one to sign so I could close it myself, but if it's two to sign you might need his agreement. I made sure XH had enough time and notice to move direct debits befoe I closed it. Give him notice in writing. Anything important (unless you wouldn't want it read out in a court of law) should be done in writing.

If you do need his agreement put your request in writing, email/text is fine, if he refuses and does so in a non written form send an email or text saying to reiterate as per phone/in person discussion today you've refused to close the joint account despite us being seperated and that you won't be using it anymore and anything that goes through is his responsibility, set it out clearly to cover yourself. Another option if he refuses would be to move the direct debits, get the balance down to zero and ask the bank to freeze the account. I don't know if that would need his agreement.

A PP suggested taking the full 1500 and not telling him the debt isn't getting paid. Don't do this. Besides being nasty and possibly getting a worse reaction back from him it would look very bad if you ended up in court. You could probably take the right amount of CM out of it, but then I'd return the rest.

PinkIcedCream · 04/03/2024 11:34

Just Stop worrying about repaying any debt that is in his name.

Your circumstances have changed and you are the main carer for your child/children whilst he’s still earning. His work opportunities aren’t ever going to be limited to p/t and working around school holidays etc. His earning capability whilst the children are growing up is much greater than yours, therefore, it makes sense that he pays the old debts off. Don’t be guilted into thinking you have to be fair. It would only be fair if he has the children 50/50.

You need to see a specialist money adviser who will work through your finances and help you to separate your accounts and start again from scratch.

You’re separated now so assume he’s putting his own needs first from now on. Don’t trust that he wants what’s best for you and the children. They never do!

LemonTT · 04/03/2024 11:39

Given what you have said this is a marital debt. Which will be split when you divorce.

If he is left to pay this and make other contributions, he may only be able to pay the minimum. Which means the debt will rise with interest. By the time you get to the divorce it could be a lot more.

I read his proposal as being one to get rid of the debt as quickly as possible. But he can do that himself. You can claim UC and CMS but with this level of debt he will not be able to provide any other interim support.

At the end of the day it is in both your interests to get rid of this debt instead of letting it grow.

Original poster
Cryingemoji · 04/03/2024 11:44

PinkIcedCream · 04/03/2024 11:34

Just Stop worrying about repaying any debt that is in his name.

Your circumstances have changed and you are the main carer for your child/children whilst he’s still earning. His work opportunities aren’t ever going to be limited to p/t and working around school holidays etc. His earning capability whilst the children are growing up is much greater than yours, therefore, it makes sense that he pays the old debts off. Don’t be guilted into thinking you have to be fair. It would only be fair if he has the children 50/50.

You need to see a specialist money adviser who will work through your finances and help you to separate your accounts and start again from scratch.

You’re separated now so assume he’s putting his own needs first from now on. Don’t trust that he wants what’s best for you and the children. They never do!

Edited

Where would I find a specialist money advisor. Is this through our bank?

OP posts:
Tiddlywinks63 · 04/03/2024 11:46

Cryingemoji · 04/03/2024 07:45

Thank you for the replies.

@SauronsArsehole something isn't sitting right with me either.

@Beautiful3 how do I go about getting the account shut down as we are unfortunately using the overdraft and it's all I have left to live on.

Thank you @fishingoutofthewater I am worried that things could turn nasty pretty quick. As he simply doesn't have enough money to pay debts & bills & afford his new place.

Beware, you’re equally responsible for the overdraft and if the bank pulls it in they will chase you for the whole amount.
I speak from bitter experience when my husband ran up an unauthorised £5k on a joint bank account that not only I hadn’t used for many years but I didn’t even have a debit card for it.

Imbusytodaysorry · 04/03/2024 11:50

OP he will look Out for himself solely you need to do the same .
Apply for UC asap and do a cms calculator to see what ex should be paying and ask for that .

Tell him you are shutting down the joint account as you are going your separate ways financially .
All you need then is to go Parent the kids.

Tiddlywinks63 · 04/03/2024 11:54

Imbusytodaysorry · 04/03/2024 11:50

OP he will look Out for himself solely you need to do the same .
Apply for UC asap and do a cms calculator to see what ex should be paying and ask for that .

Tell him you are shutting down the joint account as you are going your separate ways financially .
All you need then is to go Parent the kids.

You cannot close the joint account while there’s an overdraft . That has to be cleared before the bank will do anything else. I doubt they’ll let you open another account without getting their money back first.

youhavenoidea123 · 04/03/2024 12:28

I was in a similar situation. My Ex had credit card and loans solely in his name when we separated.

I was advised that in the same easy marital assets are taken into account, debt is the same.

I was fortunate that my Ex took full responsibility for the debt - it was run up gambling and I was not held accountable.

Our joint accounts were a pain from memory. I wasn't able to simply remove my name. We both had to confirm in writing we were in agreement.

If the debts were run up to allow you to be a SAHP. I think you will struggle to not to be seen as responsible for your share of the debt.

youhavenoidea123 · 04/03/2024 12:29
  • same way
Ilovesmesomefriedchicken · 04/03/2024 12:33

Cryingemoji · 01/03/2024 05:07

Hi all

Currently paying off a large credit card debt but now separated from husband.

I'm only listed as an additional card holder, so am I equally liable for the debt?

Also when we began repaying the cards we cut them up & I have no details about the account. How can I find out who owes what?

Thank you.

I strongly advise getting proper legal advice for this. Contact your local Citizens advice bureau & they will book you in with one of their specialists who will help you figure out what you’re liable for & what to do/not to do to protect yourself from being duped into anything by your ex.

AutumnFroglets · 04/03/2024 12:54

Talk to Citizens Advice immediately. They also have debt counsellors.

Stop paying the credit card and use the money to pay off the overdraft so you can close it. Closing all joint accounts is a priority otherwise you won't get UC, and any other benefits towards housing or childcare.

Apply for UC, you need an income to feed the children. Keep applying for jobs.

Leave paying the CC until you have had legal advice. Others saying you need to pay half could be wrong as it depends on what it has been used for. If he used it for golf holidays and new bikes for himself it is not her debt. If it was for family food, and he agreed to her being a sahm with no income then it is not her debt.

RedDuffle · 04/03/2024 12:57

Others saying you need to pay half could be wrong as it depends on what it has been used for. If he used it for golf holidays and new bikes for himself it is not her debt. If it was for family food, and he agreed to her being a sahm with no income then it is not her debt.

OP said they ran the debt up together.

AutumnFroglets · 04/03/2024 13:18

I know but she might say it was for family food or children's clothing and therefore feels obligated to pay half as they are her children too. But if he agreed to her being a sahm then it is still not her debt, same as for the utility bills . It depends entirely on what was agreed between them, every marriage is different. Which is why she needs legal advice regarding that debt.

PinkIcedCream · 04/03/2024 13:43

@Cryingemoji I was legally qualified and used to work in this area many years ago and was employed by a large city based Citizens Advice (Bureau). Citizens Advice have specialist debt advisers and lawyers who volunteer on a pro bono basis.

The financial advisers employed by banks don’t have the same type of training or knowledge of the benefits system so they’re not of much help to you at the moment.

Original poster
Cryingemoji · 04/03/2024 13:55

PinkIcedCream · 04/03/2024 13:43

@Cryingemoji I was legally qualified and used to work in this area many years ago and was employed by a large city based Citizens Advice (Bureau). Citizens Advice have specialist debt advisers and lawyers who volunteer on a pro bono basis.

The financial advisers employed by banks don’t have the same type of training or knowledge of the benefits system so they’re not of much help to you at the moment.

I've been in touch with citizens advice today, but unfortunately they are not open for face to face appointments and it says it can take up to five days to get a call back after contacting them by phone / email.

OP posts:
CaramelMac · 04/03/2024 14:10

Cryingemoji · 01/03/2024 06:57

Thank you both.

We've now had a look together at his credit report & everything is on his account & not on mine.

So now I'm wondering if I would be better off accepting the £1000 from him towards the debts each month or claiming universal credit to live on (if I'm receiving the £1500 from him I don't qualify for universal credit) and letting him deal with the debts.

So so confusing ....

If it’s in his name he should be paying it himself, not using you as an intermediary, otherwise you could keep the £1,500 and pay nothing towards the debt and it would be his credit file that’s ruined.

Viksy66 · 04/03/2024 16:29

Cryingemoji · 03/03/2024 12:34

Just wanted to say thanks for all the advice. I'm working my way through it all ..

Just wanted to say, you seem like a reasonable person which is admirable, but also can get taken for a ride.

if I were you I would:

  1. open a current account today, right now.
  2. pay the £250 off
  3. let him know you will be closing the joint account as you already have a new account like he does and there’s no need for it
  4. Ask him for a full statement of all debts so you can total up what would be your share and send over a monthly amount to him to pay that off
  5. come to a reasonable agreement for maintenance between the two of you without transferring any money for debts

it can stay amicable but you need to protect yourself and your child. There’s many many ways he could hurt you financially with leaving the joint account open and it’s not any benefit to you. If he honestly intends to pay and not rip you off it won’t affect him either to close it.

Original poster
Cryingemoji · 04/03/2024 17:03

Viksy66 · 04/03/2024 16:29

Just wanted to say, you seem like a reasonable person which is admirable, but also can get taken for a ride.

if I were you I would:

  1. open a current account today, right now.
  2. pay the £250 off
  3. let him know you will be closing the joint account as you already have a new account like he does and there’s no need for it
  4. Ask him for a full statement of all debts so you can total up what would be your share and send over a monthly amount to him to pay that off
  5. come to a reasonable agreement for maintenance between the two of you without transferring any money for debts

it can stay amicable but you need to protect yourself and your child. There’s many many ways he could hurt you financially with leaving the joint account open and it’s not any benefit to you. If he honestly intends to pay and not rip you off it won’t affect him either to close it.

Show quote history

Thank you for replying.

I've opened a new current account today.

Unfortunately I cannot afford to pay off the £250 just now and the account is currently in the overdraft so I'm unable to close the account.

On 21st when his pay and pension go in the account will right itself, but until then I think I'm stuck with it.

He's arranged for his pay to go into his new account, but has agreed to transfer it back across to our joint account to pay for all our direct debits.

I'm having to trust what he says he will do...

OP posts:
Blueink · 05/03/2024 18:12

Do you have any debt in your name?

He is liable for the full amount on the card it doesn’t matter if it was joint spending.

Rosscameasdoody · 05/03/2024 18:22

Blueink · 05/03/2024 18:12

Do you have any debt in your name?

He is liable for the full amount on the card it doesn’t matter if it was joint spending.

Not if he can make a case that the OP is making the payments nd has been for some time. Hence he pays money to op and she pays the CC,

Blueink · 05/03/2024 18:37

Rosscameasdoody · 05/03/2024 18:22

Not if he can make a case that the OP is making the payments nd has been for some time. Hence he pays money to op and she pays the CC,

Edited
Show quote history

I don’t think it matters.

Even if he could try and make a case for it.