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Original poster

Parents and sister financial arrangement. not happy

72 replies

liptoniced · 06/02/2024 23:07

Hi,

My sister (28) has recently become single. She has a child. She is in the process of sorting out somewhere to live, after leaving the house that she shared with her partner. She is currently living with our parents, but this isn't ideal as it's a 2 bed house.

She has put in a offer for a house in my parents village. I have just found out that my parents have given her a 15K deposit. This has been made up from 5k savings and 10k personal loan. Apparently they were able to get the loan at a very low rate. My sister has agreed to make the loan payments for the 10k loan, but the 5k is a gift.

I am unhappy that my parents have done this. I can live with the 5k gift, but not the 10k loan. Dad says that it's nothing to do with me. Parents are still relatively young (55 and 56) and working full time. Dad claims that the loan is preferable to withdrawing savings as they are in a bond.

It just doesn't sit right with me. Am I crossing the line?

OP posts:
Moonpig82 · 06/02/2024 23:09

What is are you worried about?

HirplesWithHaggis · 06/02/2024 23:09

I'm with your dad, it's none of your business.

Neolara · 06/02/2024 23:09

Your parents can do whatever they want with their money.

FriendlyNeighbourhoodAccountant · 06/02/2024 23:10

Yes, it's nothing to do with you. Your sister needs help and it sounds like your parents are happy to help.

Why would you begrudge this?

As long as the sister pays them each month for the loan (and there's nothing in your post to suggest she won't) then everything is fine anyway. Even if she didn't, that would be between your sister and your parents.

Original poster
liptoniced · 06/02/2024 23:11

Moonpig82 · 06/02/2024 23:09

What is are you worried about?

That they are essentially liable for a debt if she stops paying

OP posts:
Cloverforever · 06/02/2024 23:11

So you're jealous?

Lizzieregina · 06/02/2024 23:11

I would think it’s a bad idea, but agree that it’s none of your beeswax what your parents do. They’re grown ups who can make their own decisions.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 06/02/2024 23:12

None of your business.

Are you jealous ?
Greedy ?

Your parents are happy and have clearly thought it out i.e. would have have a tiny loan than give up their bond/s.
I guess your father has figured out that if for any reason the loan isn't easily repaid then indeed he can sell bond/s.

Neither of then reach retirement age for another 10+ years, unless they are already in an excellent position and have retired ? will be retiring long before they become 67. Yet again it's a tiny loan at their age if they are ' confortable ' .

TheChosenTwo · 06/02/2024 23:12

Your dad is right, it’s got nothing to do with you 😵‍💫

Motheranddaughter · 06/02/2024 23:13

Nothing to do with you
Nice that they are helping her

Dartmoorcheffy · 06/02/2024 23:14

None of your business

User373433 · 06/02/2024 23:17

It's not the most financially savvy idea, as there are guarantor mortgages available (which they would still be liable for if she defaults) and it will have to be declared. But she could have had a 0% deposit with them being guarantors on either their own home if mortgage paid off, or their savings. My parents did that for me, I don't know if my siblings reacted like you, but they were much more financially secure, so I hope not. Have they not sought financial advice from a broker?

notknowledgeable · 06/02/2024 23:18

liptoniced · 06/02/2024 23:11

That they are essentially liable for a debt if she stops paying

Show quote history

They have made the decision to take the risk - it is entirely their choice

Cowhen · 06/02/2024 23:22

Their money, their choice. If there are negative consequences, they will deal with them as adults.

Runnerduck34 · 06/02/2024 23:22

Your parents aren't elderly and befuddled they are over 10 years from retirement and working. I'm sure the loan is fine and your sister will pay it back. In the unlikely event she doesn't it sounds like they will be able to cover it with bonds.
I can see why they wanted to help your sister as shes in vulnerable situation- have they ever offered you similar help in the past? Just wondering if you feel you are treated less favourably.

Underthesea65 · 06/02/2024 23:24

I'm sorry, but even if she does stop paying and they are liable for the debt, that's on them and they seem like they are more than happy to take that risk, so essentially, it's nothing to do with you, in the kindest possible way

Boomboom22 · 06/02/2024 23:27

User373433 · 06/02/2024 23:17

It's not the most financially savvy idea, as there are guarantor mortgages available (which they would still be liable for if she defaults) and it will have to be declared. But she could have had a 0% deposit with them being guarantors on either their own home if mortgage paid off, or their savings. My parents did that for me, I don't know if my siblings reacted like you, but they were much more financially secure, so I hope not. Have they not sought financial advice from a broker?

Except then they'd be liable for the whole thing rather than an unsecured low rate loan, so who is actually savvy? Wow.

chrisfromcardiff · 06/02/2024 23:27

liptoniced · 06/02/2024 23:07

Hi,

My sister (28) has recently become single. She has a child. She is in the process of sorting out somewhere to live, after leaving the house that she shared with her partner. She is currently living with our parents, but this isn't ideal as it's a 2 bed house.

She has put in a offer for a house in my parents village. I have just found out that my parents have given her a 15K deposit. This has been made up from 5k savings and 10k personal loan. Apparently they were able to get the loan at a very low rate. My sister has agreed to make the loan payments for the 10k loan, but the 5k is a gift.

I am unhappy that my parents have done this. I can live with the 5k gift, but not the 10k loan. Dad says that it's nothing to do with me. Parents are still relatively young (55 and 56) and working full time. Dad claims that the loan is preferable to withdrawing savings as they are in a bond.

It just doesn't sit right with me. Am I crossing the line?

Assuming your parents are not cognitively challenged in any way, what they do with money really isn't your business. Now, if the time comes when they say they can't repay the $10K loan and want your help, then you can butt in and tell them to F right off.

Motheranddaughter · 06/02/2024 23:28

Am ages with your parents and would be furious if anyone questioned what I spent my money on

OolongTeaDrinker · 06/02/2024 23:29

Your parents aren’t stupid surely, they will have considered that they might need to take on the debt at some point and decided to go ahead anyway. It’s irrelevant if you are unhappy about this, sounds like the arrangement is a done deal. Good on them for helping out your sister. You sound jealous.

5thCommandment · 06/02/2024 23:32

I do t think deposits for homes can be funded by loans, the bank will ask when she applies for a mortgage where the deposit has come from. It's a liability and the bank will want unencumbered funds for the deposit, so it may not get used.

SeatonCarew · 06/02/2024 23:34

Mind your own beeswax, your parents are quite capable of deciding what to do with their own money. Your poor sister! Be grateful you are not in her position, and consider what you might be able to do to support her and her child at this difficult time.

Azandme · 06/02/2024 23:34

Your parents are ten years ish older than me. The thought that anyone would have the audacity to try to interfere in my financial decisions boggles the mind!

They are adults. They are your parents. Do YOU think they are idiots? Do you think that somehow you are far superior to them when it comes to their finances?

If the answer is no then you're just pissed that your sister is getting their help.

If it's yes, then I'm sure you'd have mentioned their history of bad financial choices in your OP... You didn't.

You need to listen to your dad and mind your own business.

feathermucker · 06/02/2024 23:36

You can live with the 5k but not the 10k loan? It isn't a situation that you need to live or not live with as it's none of your business.

Unless there's a massive drip feed incoming then YABU. You come across as jealous.

LauderSyme · 06/02/2024 23:38

Your dad is right, this is nothing to do with you. The loan is not that large in the grand scheme of things. Your parents are a long way from retirement and having fixed incomes. They have every right to make their own financial decisions regarding their family, and you have no right to voice your opinion.

Aren't you happy your sister and niece or nephew will have a secure home? Shame on you, I'm embarrassed for you with this attitude.

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