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Original poster

Parents and sister financial arrangement. not happy

72 replies

liptoniced · 06/02/2024 23:07

Hi,

My sister (28) has recently become single. She has a child. She is in the process of sorting out somewhere to live, after leaving the house that she shared with her partner. She is currently living with our parents, but this isn't ideal as it's a 2 bed house.

She has put in a offer for a house in my parents village. I have just found out that my parents have given her a 15K deposit. This has been made up from 5k savings and 10k personal loan. Apparently they were able to get the loan at a very low rate. My sister has agreed to make the loan payments for the 10k loan, but the 5k is a gift.

I am unhappy that my parents have done this. I can live with the 5k gift, but not the 10k loan. Dad says that it's nothing to do with me. Parents are still relatively young (55 and 56) and working full time. Dad claims that the loan is preferable to withdrawing savings as they are in a bond.

It just doesn't sit right with me. Am I crossing the line?

OP posts:
Boomboom22 · 06/02/2024 23:38

How old are you op?

blackpanth · 06/02/2024 23:42

None of your business

BruFord · 06/02/2024 23:43

I don’t think it’s particularly uncommon for parents to lend adult children money, tbh. The fact that it’s through a fairly small loan ( in the grand scheme of things, it’s not tens of thousands) is neither here nor there.

I know that DH’s parents have lent their four children money at various times, a lot more than this, and everyone bar his youngest sister has fully repaid it. She’s still repaying, I believe.

Your parents are on the younger side and sound perfectly capable of managing their money. Don’t worry about it.

HeddaGarbled · 06/02/2024 23:48

Perhaps you could help?

Boymum2104 · 07/02/2024 00:17

Begrudging your parents helping your sister & her child get back on their feet after a break up.. wow

CurlsnSunshinetime4tea · 07/02/2024 00:24

pathetic op, not like 10K is a lot of money.
worried about your sister defaulting and your parents being liable ha ha ha i call bs on that.
and even IF your sister has form, it's none of your business they are doing this for the right reason; to help a child of theirs get back on their feet.

Delphiniumandlupins · 07/02/2024 01:14

Yes you are crossing a line. If you were in a similar position would it be any of your sister's business?

Dazedandfrazzled · 07/02/2024 01:48

It is nothing to do with you. Your parents are probably doing it so she doenst have to live with them and don't you want your sister and child to live somewhere decent. It's not even much money. You don't sound very nice tbh, keep your nose out if it, and good on your sister for leaving an unhappy relationship

Emma8888 · 07/02/2024 01:49

Your dad is absolutely right.

MariaLuna · 07/02/2024 02:15

I get you OP and you're getting a lot of flack on here.

Anything can happen tomorrow to your parent's health etc.

Has your sister drawn up a contract that the money will be paid back? If not, I would feel hard done by if the eventual inheritance is not shared out equally.

And I'm speaking as the only solo mum in my family. Never expected favouritism because of it. Just knuckle down and get to work.

Nofilteritwonthelp · 07/02/2024 02:44

MariaLuna · 07/02/2024 02:15

I get you OP and you're getting a lot of flack on here.

Anything can happen tomorrow to your parent's health etc.

Has your sister drawn up a contract that the money will be paid back? If not, I would feel hard done by if the eventual inheritance is not shared out equally.

And I'm speaking as the only solo mum in my family. Never expected favouritism because of it. Just knuckle down and get to work.

I wouldn't do this, you'll look very grabby for the sake of 15k and risk being ostracised. Don't you think it's good that you're parents are helping her in a difficult situation and would hope they'd do the same for you? As I'm sure they would

BarbieDangerous · 07/02/2024 02:59

😂

CaraMiaMonCher · 07/02/2024 03:01

liptoniced · 06/02/2024 23:11

That they are essentially liable for a debt if she stops paying

Show quote history

Presumably your adult parents are aware of that and have decided themselves to take that risk so that their daughter and grandchild have a roof over their head?

archerzz · 07/02/2024 03:31

What? How does it affect you?

DeeLusional · 07/02/2024 03:39

User373433 · 06/02/2024 23:17

It's not the most financially savvy idea, as there are guarantor mortgages available (which they would still be liable for if she defaults) and it will have to be declared. But she could have had a 0% deposit with them being guarantors on either their own home if mortgage paid off, or their savings. My parents did that for me, I don't know if my siblings reacted like you, but they were much more financially secure, so I hope not. Have they not sought financial advice from a broker?

I would rather be liable for a £10,000 loan than a whole mortgage as guarantor!

OurfriendsintheNE · 07/02/2024 03:43

Would you be concerned if your parents took out a loan for a car or home improvements? Presumably they will be able to cover repayments if necessary or they wouldn’t have been accepted.

wherearemywellingtons · 07/02/2024 03:56

liptoniced · 06/02/2024 23:11

That they are essentially liable for a debt if she stops paying

Show quote history

Yes, but they're also adults who are capable of making decisions and have decided that this is something they're comfortable with. The idea that one day my child might be telling me what I can and can't do with my money is really making me laugh.

Tiddlywinks63 · 07/02/2024 04:27

It’s absolutely none of your business what your parents choose to do!

BecuaseIWantItThatWay · 07/02/2024 04:33

YBVU, what is it with people thinking they can dictate what their parents do with their money??

Do you expect that other people should have a say in your personal finances? Ridiculous!

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/02/2024 05:20

Yes you are crossing a line. How your parents manage their finances is really nothing to do with you. Good on them for pulling out all the stops to help your sister secure housing.

helpnohelpno · 07/02/2024 05:22

Do you feel your parents have been manipulated into this.?

My parents guaranteed my mortgage when I bought ex out. I was very grateful at the time as it enabled me to keep the house.

Elektra1 · 07/02/2024 05:51

None of your business. Your parents have clearly entered into the arrangement fully aware that they are liable for the loan, and decided to do it.

I'm a guarantor for my DC's rent at university. If they don't pay, I'll have to pay. These are things people do for their adult children. Help them out. No doubt your parents would help you in the same way if you needed it.

Devilshands · 07/02/2024 05:53

Parents Helping Out Sibling - I’m Jealous.

Fixed your title for you, OP.

Not your money, not your business. I think it’s amazing they’re taking that risk for their child who has their own child and has found themselves homeless. But you carry on being petty and jealous.

decionsdecisions62 · 07/02/2024 05:58

Aw didums. Get over it. Your parents money and what they choose to do with it is their decision.

Dotchange · 07/02/2024 06:00

Presumably your sister has a decent job to get a mortgage?

OP- why wouldn’t you want your sister and niece to be in secure housing?