How do people afford to live in London?

[galwithkids]

What it says in the title really..
We live in a 2 bed flat with our 2 DCs (4m 3m) in London zone 3. I love our area, I love London and I don’t want to move away. However I keep wondering if everyone around me is making more money that us to be able to live comfortably? Both me and DH work full time in demanding jobs and we bring home approx £9000 net. Our monthly outgoings are £7300. I have tried everything to bring this number down but I am not able to. This is just family basic living expenses, no extras, no commute or car costs, personal
phone or subscriptions not included. I have worked SO hard to bring myself to a point of earning that much, and yet every month I am left without any spare money, I never spend any money for myself, all my clothes are from Primark or H&M, the kids clothes and toys are all second hand, we don’t order take out, the weekends are usually free activities in the park or museums, I don’t save any because there isn’t any left. I feel like I have worked so hard for so long to bring myself to a decent salary level and yet I am not living the life that should come with it. I don’t want extravagant expenses, I don’t mind shopping at Primark. But I would like to have some
savings for the kids’ future, and I have nothing because money is never enough. What am I doing wrong?

one of the kids go to nursery in the morning. The other is in reception. She does the drop off and pick ups, the little one is with her all day after nursery, they pick DC1 together and the stays with them until after bath time. So I pay her full days because I occupy her pretty much all day. And she does full days on half terms, inset days or when the kids are sick and stay home

Your outgoings are crazy! I’m finding all of this hard to believe. How can you be spending that much on a cleaner? And in your original post you said there were no car costs but then suddenly you’re factoring in expenses for your DH’s car.

Cut the cleaner, why is childcare so much.? You still have well over a grand a month to spare.
No sympathy here.

Thanks for this I will ask our broker

I assume a lot of people are given a decent bung of cash to help them on the housing ladder.

Lots use cheaper forms of childcare/after school club and just make it work

You are choosing to have a nanny who babysits evenings and weekends and choosing to have a cleaner. Both of those are luxuries

I realise in a stressful job they are nice to have, but nonetheless you need to choose between those and fancier clothes etc.

Unfortunately you have to be very wealthy before there are no difficult choices to make.

I feel your pain, I have juggled a stressful job with being a single parent to tinies and it's rubbish to have all the stress and feel there's nothing to show for it. But I am guessing you are building up a pension pot and equity in your property even if you aren't building other savings

Why are you sending your younger one to nursery AND have a nanny? What does the nanny do when your children are in school and nursery?

I know we couldn't afford to live in London - very simple really. I would love to be richer, but I am where I am.
Move away if you can't afford it.

I actually feel sorry for the kids really. No time to spend with them or just doing every day stuff. Life is too short for that shit.

I said in the monthly outgoings there are no car costs because my DH pays those from the leftover money. We don’t consider those a shared expense because he covers them.
My cleaner gets the going rate for London and does 5 hours which include ironing

You're not paying for the nursery are you?

No, let's not beat up working mums for working again!

The answer is quite simple - you'll be over £3k better off once dcs are at school

The obvious is to cut back on childcare costs. We only have one child (partly for financial reasons) but DS was either in full time nursery (1,500 a month). Now he's at school, we have an after school nanny a couple of days a week (500) but we'll move to afterschool club next year. You're choosing to spend more on childcare because the way that you've got it set up makes your life easier. No judgement from me! But you need to accept that you're making expensive choices.

you're paying a nanny more than some of these posters earns, more than some of them earn as a family. You choose to have a nanny and a nursery, then more on top. Thats a choice you have to make - but you can't then expect to come here and "moan" you don't have enough money left when your down to £1700 a month disposable income. Thats after you've paid the cleaning lady nearly £5k a year on top

You need a better grip
in things.

You don’t k ow what your outgoings actually are. You’ll never know where you’re going wrong until you know exactly what’s coming in and exactly what’s going out.

It doesn’t help to think you have no commuting costs, then say you commute an hour each way, then say your DH drives and there’s a railcard too. Which is it? (I don’t care, YOU need to know).

You also can’t claim to live in zone 3, have a nanny, have a cleaner, have two incomes and two small children, but claim to despair for the future. You’re paying down a mortgage. Your children cost max money right now. You KNOW this.

You’re having a panic, because something has made you look around you. Stop doing that. Other people may live on credit, they may earn more and spend less, they may have inheritances or made excellent investments - it’s pointless comparing to others. Look at yourself and stop panicking. You’ve got a good income, you just need to calm down and look at your expenses.

Cut her hours and don't bother with getting her to iron. Just fold things and put them away. It's mad to only be able to afford Primark clothing and pay someone to iron it

5 hours a week for a 2 bed flat?! My cleaner does 4 hours in our 5 bed house (4 children and I have a disability so can't do much between her visits)

There's plenty of fat you can trim from your budget

That's really helpful...when both parents have to WORK.

I answered this above. My DC2 finishes nursery at 12, she picks him up and stays with him until 7pm. She also drops the kids off in the morning because we leave early for work (office based). So she works 7.45-8.30 and 12-7. I don’t want her to get another job to cover the morning hours because I need her for out of term cover so I think it’s fair I pay her accordingly (and she is salaried so she has NI, pension etc).

Just read your updates. You are exemplifying champagne tastes on a beer budget (kind of, all scaled up)!! You have a nanny AND a nursery!! You pay someone to do your ironing for you!! You have money leftover each month!! You won’t do any housework yourselves because “my sanity”!!!

I would suggest you read the room. MN won’t appreciate this!

I don’t understand why the two bed flat is requiring so much cleaning when both adults work and when you have a full time nanny with lots of available time. There shouldn’t be any child related mess involved, she should be picking up their toys, doing their dishes after meals etc.

5 hours of cleaning a week or a month?!

You misunderstood. I was talking about my own situation now my DC are grown. I wasn't telling the OP to give up any of those things. Should have been " We don't" I guess.

My cleaner gets the going rate for London and does 5 hours which include ironing.

Ironing is surely something you and your DH can do between you? Paying for five hours a week for a two-bed flat when you have a nanny there all day who can at least keep it tidy is crazy.

Yes we are

Is that part of what you've labeled as "childcare costs" in your post?