Friends stole money from me

[MeganBoo]

I’m really not sure what to do and the situation is making my depression worse. I’m 23, I have a friend two years younger then me, been friends just under a year, we’ve only met once but we talk every day we both have children similar ages and we seemed to get along a lot and have lots in common. At the end of last year this friend wanted to use klarna to buy a new bed in the Black Friday sales but she said hers dosent work as she owes klarna money so they’ve stopped her using her account (I believed and still believe this is true as I previously owed klarna money and they stopped me accessing my account) she asked if I could use my klarna account to order the bed for her and then she’d pay me the money when the instalments are due once a month for 3 months. The bed cost £500 me being gullible, stupid and too nice I agreed and ordered it on my account she sent me the first instalment straight away of around £170 but I told her it’s not due yet so I sent it back to her and told her to give it to me when it’s due (which would be once the beds delivered) the bed was delivered Friday and klarna tried to take the first instalment out my account (Im a single mum and don’t work due to mental health) I didn’t have the funds for it I contacted the friend and told her she said the beds a different colour to the pictures and she’s gonna return it and that people would come Wednesday 10th to collect the bed so I thought ok once the beds returned on Wednesday klarna will process it and stop asking for money but I’m now getting suspicious as this friend has now blocked me on two of her social media accounts she’s kept me on our main socials but hasn’t replied since Friday it’s raising red flags I’m now getting anxious that the bed won’t be returned tomorrow and she’s trying to scam me I know stupid of me to do it in the first place. It hurts as we’re both Muslim that’s what we bonded on and as a Muslim it’s sinful to do something like this I never thought she’d try to scam me I still don’t want to think it’s a possibility I’m too naive and nice, it’s the fact she’s blocked me on certain socials and isn’t responding that’s now getting me worried I can’t afford to pay £500 for a bed that’s not even mine I have her address but don’t want to show up at hers and cause a scene I’m really stuck I’m gonna wait till tomorrow and see if it’s returned or was thinking to contact the company and see if there’s a return in process please no hate as I’m already hating on myself a lot and feel so depressed I don’t have friends and this was the only person I considered as a friend she works part time so she has a bit of money coming in where as I don’t so there’s no way I can afford this and I don’t want to pay for something that’s for her I’m really stuck and feeling hopeless.

This is a safeguarding issue. Your most recent long post shows clearly how you have been taken advantage of. Show it to CAB.

I still advise contacting Social Services. And as a former CAB advice worker, I hope, the CAB give you similar advice, even if they offer other suggestions. In fact, I would expect them to give you similar advice, as they should be trained to pick up safeguarding issues. They might be able to contact Social Services themselves on your behalf.

Even if you don't win you haven't taken it lying down and have made her life more difficult too. I could never enjoy getting into bed each night knowing I stole it.

Is talking to an elder at her mosque a possibility too as suggested up thread?

she has loads of friends on socials

There you go. Shame her on social media to all her friends. Say she has blocked you, and they should be aware it doesn’t happen to them.

You can send them all a copy & paste message!

‘been friends just under a year, we’ve only met once but we talk every day”

Sounds like you’ve been had tbh. This isn’t a friend. I’m afraid you’ve been rather gullible and someone you don’t know asking you for credit should have rung big alarm bells.

It is a difficult situation OP and I’m sorry you are in this situation, however nothing that she has done here is illegal and so a small claims court is most likely going to be a waste of your time and money.

She has acted immorally, 100%, but not illegally. Without a legal contract stating she was going to pay for the bed with a signature, you don’t really have a case for small claims and it’s certainly not a police matter.

You are liable for the entire amount. Your best bet would be to contact Klarna direct about the payments and an alternative payment plan if possible.

Alternatively, would your boyfriend be willing to go with you to the address to try and get the product back to then return yourself?

@Mrsttcno1

All I have are texts of her saying she’d pay me the money for the bed etc I was told that’s enough to take it to small claims but I don’t want to go through all the hassle just for her to win and me still having to pay for the bed which I can’t afford.

Shes likely got the bed up by now and is sleeping in it highly unlikely I’d be able to retrieve it and return it and when I mentioned to my boyfriend before about how I want to go to her place and confront her he simply said good luck. At this point I don’t know what to do I give up, but I do want to confront her about it and have been thinking to show up at her address but there’s no saying she’d be in or answer just hate the fact she’s getting away with it and she’s been lying and misleading me.

I am not sure you have a case for a claim as you willingly signed up for the deal for her. If you can shame her on social media by warning others I would do that but as regards to getting the money off her unless you have a written agreement from her to repay you then she has not broken any contract. Infuriating but a life lesson to never lend again to people.

Sorry @MeganBoo I haven't RTFT, so I apologise if you've already been told this.

As you now have some evidence in the form of text messages that your friend promised to repay you, these can be used to make a claim through the county court.

As you are in receipt of benefits, you are exempt from having to pay any court fee. You need to complete form EX160. This can either be sent with your claim, or you can pay the fee, then submit the form to have the fee repaid within 3 months.

I hope this helps, and best of luck. 💐

As for your friend not having done anything wrong, she absolutely has.

It can be called a few things, but probably gaining a pecuniary (monetary) advantage, or obtaining goods by deception. If you so wished, you could make this a police matter.

Merely a text message promising she will pay you for those goods is sufficient evidence for a county court money claim. I know because I have done just this.

As she's blocked you, drive to her house and pop a note through her letterbox. I still stand by trying to shit her up. As PP suggested, say: 'family member is fuming and thinking of contacting the police. As I'm sure it's all been a misunderstanding, I've arranged a return so make sure the bed is boxed up ready to send back and we can put this behind us'

You have a strong case for the small claim but the chances of her paying the money are still very shaky. If you're going to be financially ruined until then and you're on UC, ring them and request a budgeting advance (loan) for the total cost of the bed and they will take the payments gradually every month from your benefits as payment.

@OnlyOpenMouthToChangeFeet

Thank you so much for the support and encouragement, I was thinking to take it to small claims but then a few people said I don’t have enough evidence and need it in signed writing that she promised to pay for the bed so that made me feel hopeless and I was gonna give up but your words have motivated me to go through with it thank you 🥲 we’re you successful when you went through with it yourself?

Use the small claims court , ive done so and its v easy, can be done online

You need her full name and address only

@App13

How long did the whole process take and did you get your money back?

The problem with small claims court is that it is decided based on a “balance of probabilities”, and so it’s really a case of who can tell the best/most convincing story. You can tell your version, she will have her own version, and if she is as vindictive as she seems she is then she could even use the fact that she sent you the money and then you sent it back to her as proof that you have purchased this for her as a gift, she tried to pay you back and you turned down the money, bank transferred it back, she has evidence of that.

I would also say, kindly, are you sure she even is who she says she is? You say in your OP that you have met her once but then you’ve said further down your boyfriend questioned why you would do this for someone as you’ve never met them. So have you actually met her in person? Are you sure of her name? I wouldn’t even personally be sure you have her genuine address, it’s quite a common scam to give a fake address that is near-ish for a delivery, the person then intercepts the parcel and so any kind of legal come back is impossible because you have a ghost name and an incorrect address, it happened quite a lot round where we live the year before last.

In the meantime, you need to get in touch with Klarna/the shop to discuss the payments. Failure to make the payments could lead to you ending up with a CCJ which will cost you significantly more money and if you then fail at small claims court you have that to deal with for the next 6 years. Get in touch with the company and try to renegotiate a payment amount in the interim. It can take up to a year to get through small claims court, a friend of mine it was 9.5 months beginning to end and that was before the back logs courts are still facing post-Covid so you need a plan for the meantime. Small claims court is a potential option but it’s certainly not quick.

@MeganBoo you said you'd only met her once, but then said you haven't ever met her in person?

How did you first encounter her?

I think you need to fill in the forms for small claims. The threat of court may be enough for her to pay up.

Yes I was. Not exact same situation as you, but very similar in being taken advantage of by a friend for money. And like you, it was when I had very little to spare.

To be honest, I was surprised she turned up in court. Tried the usual crap saying it was a gift, I told her in person not to worry about it, etc., but the judge was great and it didn't wash. I'm disabled and had to appear on a video call, and judge let her have it. He said "it may only be a text message, but you clearly took advantage of a vulnerable person, and if this wasn't the first time I'd refer you to the police myself".

It can be difficult providing evidence when either a friend or family has done something like this as in law there is no intention to create a legal relationship. Usually, such as with a credit agreement, you will both have needed to sign a contract. But the judge explained to us both that in our modern digital word, he found a text admission from a phone number shown to be hers was sufficient evidence.

Good luck, if I can help any more please just drop me a DM.

@Mrsttcno1

Although I want some kind of justice I do feel like small claims will be even more of a headache and I know it’ll effect my mental health more having to go through with the whole thing and the anticipation but I’m going to do it as I want to do something about it and as I mentioned it frustrates me knowing she’s sleeping in the bed at night without a care in the world while I’ve been left to sort the mess out. It’s true she could say she sent me the money and I returned it and offered to pay but why would a young single mum in my situation who already has tons of stuff to pay for offer to do that for someone it’s not exactly a cheap item and I struggle enough with money as it is, currently broke and don’t get paid till 2 weeks due to paying things off so definitely not in the position to buy her something and if anything I could say she pressured me into sending the money back as she needed it for an emergency. As you can see I’m willing to fight for this case.

im 100% sure she’s who she says she is I’ve had her on social media since 2018 but we only started talking last year I spoke to her on the phone once as well. I’ve not met her before though my fault for saying I had.

Im going to contact klarna tomorrow been needing to contact a lot of people such as citizens advice but have had to wait as it’s the weekend and I can’t get through to anyone. Rather anxious as I know I’ll have to pay klarna until the claims sorted out and Im already paying something else off on there that’s pricy as well as other things so money is very tight. I made a claim just now and it says they’ll let me know when the case has been issued to the girl.

That's great you've got the ball rolling with your claim @MeganBoo 😊

With a bit of luck, a county court summons landing on her doormat will scare the living shit out of her, and you'll get your money.

Fingers crossed for you. 🙏

Why did you lie about having met her?

@OnlyOpenMouthToChangeFeet

Thank you although I don’t know what the outcome of the case will be I do feel a bit better knowing she’s gonna come home one day and see a letter from the court and know I’ve escalated things as right now, having scammed me, she’s probably laughing and has no idea what’s coming 😁

@IncompleteSenten

I lied and said I’ve met her once as when I told my boyfriend about the situation he got angry about it and said why would I do something like this to someone I’ve never met etc he made me feel even worse and stupid…this made me scared to put I’ve never met her in case I got the same response on here and was made to feel even more stupid I over though and got anxious so said I met her once.

Op you could report her to the police for theft? It's bought on your card, she has it in her possession and won't return it. I would lodge a criminal case against her. Small claims costs money and I wouldn't want to waste anymore on her.

OP you really should have waited and spoke with CAB first before filling in a claim form.

There is a process to follow.

The first step is to send a formal letter to the person yourself, it’s called a letter before claim. This should include a few details which CAB would have told you about, it has to be sent recorded postage, you have to keep a copy etc. She also legally has 14 days to reply to that BEFORE you start a court claim.

Nope, because it was ordered by the OP to this persons address. She sent it to that address. OP has also been in touch with the company direct about delivery, so there is evidence this wasn’t fraud or a mistake.

@Mrsttcno1

I did actually write a letter that I was going to send her to inform her that if she dosent pay I’m going to take it to court etc but I haven’t posted it yet. Is it a big deal if I don’t send a letter first as I did try and resolve it with her in text but she ended up blocking me on everything I know for sure she’d ignore my letter.