Friends stole money from me

[MeganBoo]

I’m really not sure what to do and the situation is making my depression worse. I’m 23, I have a friend two years younger then me, been friends just under a year, we’ve only met once but we talk every day we both have children similar ages and we seemed to get along a lot and have lots in common. At the end of last year this friend wanted to use klarna to buy a new bed in the Black Friday sales but she said hers dosent work as she owes klarna money so they’ve stopped her using her account (I believed and still believe this is true as I previously owed klarna money and they stopped me accessing my account) she asked if I could use my klarna account to order the bed for her and then she’d pay me the money when the instalments are due once a month for 3 months. The bed cost £500 me being gullible, stupid and too nice I agreed and ordered it on my account she sent me the first instalment straight away of around £170 but I told her it’s not due yet so I sent it back to her and told her to give it to me when it’s due (which would be once the beds delivered) the bed was delivered Friday and klarna tried to take the first instalment out my account (Im a single mum and don’t work due to mental health) I didn’t have the funds for it I contacted the friend and told her she said the beds a different colour to the pictures and she’s gonna return it and that people would come Wednesday 10th to collect the bed so I thought ok once the beds returned on Wednesday klarna will process it and stop asking for money but I’m now getting suspicious as this friend has now blocked me on two of her social media accounts she’s kept me on our main socials but hasn’t replied since Friday it’s raising red flags I’m now getting anxious that the bed won’t be returned tomorrow and she’s trying to scam me I know stupid of me to do it in the first place. It hurts as we’re both Muslim that’s what we bonded on and as a Muslim it’s sinful to do something like this I never thought she’d try to scam me I still don’t want to think it’s a possibility I’m too naive and nice, it’s the fact she’s blocked me on certain socials and isn’t responding that’s now getting me worried I can’t afford to pay £500 for a bed that’s not even mine I have her address but don’t want to show up at hers and cause a scene I’m really stuck I’m gonna wait till tomorrow and see if it’s returned or was thinking to contact the company and see if there’s a return in process please no hate as I’m already hating on myself a lot and feel so depressed I don’t have friends and this was the only person I considered as a friend she works part time so she has a bit of money coming in where as I don’t so there’s no way I can afford this and I don’t want to pay for something that’s for her I’m really stuck and feeling hopeless.

@fatphalange

I can arrange a return as much as I’d like but I highly doubt she’d accept the return and let the couriers collect the bed she’s probably set it up by now and is sleeping peacefully in it at night while I’m here stressing how I’m gonna pay for it

@Dearover

I placed the order on my klarna account with my card details but the orders in her name, her number and her address. She convinced me into believing she couldn’t use her klarna account and asked me if I’d use mine to make the purchase. I know, I’ve come to realise she definitely wasn’t a friend, I feel like she’s not only scammed me out of money but also my daughter and she knows my situation regarding my mental health and how I’m a single mum not working, hurts knowing I thought she was a friend I confided in her about things and told her personal things she was the only “friend” I had.

This isn't fraud. It's immoral but legal.

The OP is liable for 100% of the cost

Could your Imam help you in any way? Perhaps they could contact your friend on your behalf as they won’t be blocked? Or perhaps assist you with the money?

Contact the bank. Tell them the order has been fraudulently. Tell klarna the same.

report it all to the police.

I understand how anxious you must be feeling. You said that you have been friends online for a year but have only physically met eschnothervonce. This is a classic grooming technique against a vulnerable person. How close do you live to each other, how did you initially meet and do you have anyone else who knows both of you?

I doubt if this character is as clever as they think they are. They may get scared once it looks as though you have dropped any pretence of believing her and are seeking professional advice.

@AnneValentine

I feel anxious about lying and saying it was fraudulent as I willing placed the order also my email was used for the order and I called the company (BensonsForBeds) to ask about delivery etc so there’s proof it wasn’t fraudulent

@Dearover

I’m extremely anxious honestly it’s effecting my mental health a lot I can’t stop thinking about it and feel embarrassed to tell any family members about it as they’ll think I’m stupid for doing it in the first place feel so isolated. We live about 45 minutes from each other, she lives near my boyfriend (not my daughters dad) I’m hoping to move nearer to him at some point that’s also why I liked being “friends” with this girl as we talked about when I move to her and my boyfriends area how we can meet up regularly etc, I thought I’d have a friend in the area. Unfortunately I don’t know anyone she knows as I said I don’t have any friends in all honesty she’s the only person I considered a friend.

im going to call citizens advice tomorrow and gonna see if I can make a small claim because I have texts of her saying she’ll pay for the bed etc. just adds more stress to my life though didn’t want to take it this far and the uncertainty of if I’ll even get the money after the claim is making me even more anxious.

Please try not to let it knock your confidence, however easy that is for me to say. Contact Citizen's Advice and there is also no harm in looking at the Action Fraud website as she has scammed you.

In the meantime, have you spoken to your health visitor about your anxiety. There are people who will help.

If it’s on your klarna it’s actually all in your name. Shes effectively the delivery address.

I asked before - how do you know this person? Have you met them in the flesh?

Personally I would start small claims. If you don’t you are paying for it. She clearly isn’t paying you back.

Also she has committed fraud. Or theft. Either way she’s broken the law.

https://www.actionfraud.police.uk/reporting-fraud-and-cyber-crime

This is a good starting point as she has defrauded you. She took advantage of you as a vulnerable person online to deliberately scam you. Report to reduce the risk of her doing it to someone else.

Do you have a social worker? Can you tell them what has happened? You have been taken advantage of as a vulnerable person, and this is a safeguarding issue. They can look into it, and may be able to speak to Klana on your behalf.

Even if you don't have a social worker assigned to you, Social Services would want to know about a safeguarding issue such as you have experienced.

Do you both attend the same Mosque? Maybe you could talk to your Imam for advice and the shame of him speaking to her might make her repay you. Does your Mosque have a hardship fund who can help you?

@Dearover

Honestly it’s effected my confidence and mental health massively I tried to commit suicide last year and get suicidal thoughts the minute it dawned on me she’d scammed me I wanted to end it all, it’ll also effect me in the long run I now feel extremely paranoid as if everyone’s out to get me and feel like I can’t trust anyone my anxiety has hit the roof I’m over thinking every situation. I already struggled getting out the house due to anxiety I can’t even do something simple like put my bins outside the gate on bin day…now I really don’t wanna go out.

The only person I’ve told about the situation is my boyfriend of 2 years, he basically said good luck with it and said why Id do something like this as I’ve never met the girl etc he seemed rather angry at me. I definitely don’t want to tell anyone else now as I’m embarrassed and everyone on the outside will question why I did it and think I’m stupid.

I feel like such a loser I have no friends the one person I thought was finally my friend only wanted to be friends to scam me, she has loads of friends on socials she could’ve done it to any of them I keep thinking why was it me all I wanted was one friend. I think we had a genuine friendship to start with I don’t believe she was plotting this from the start as I’m the one who first contacted her and got us talking I do think it was part genuine we were even gonna meet at one point I remember her saying she wanted to buy something from ikea but the postage is expensive, I drive and she dosent, she tried suggesting I drive us there but I wasn’t up for it (now thinking about it I guess this was her tryna use me to her advantage again as she only wanted to meet so I could take us to ikea she never wanted to meet when I suggested we have play dates etc with our daughters). But yeah maybe I’m gullible but I do feel like the first part was genuine but in the end she realised she could use me to her advantage and get something out of me so she threw the little friendship we had away.

feel like I’m ranting now, feel like such a burden 😔

You could say you’re being pressured by a family member to call the police over this so can we quickly sort it out.

You have had really good advice.

1st you could report it as a fraudulent purchase. Say it’s appeared on your account but the delivery address is not yours. See what happens then?

Or you could report it to the police and contact Klarna or Bensons and tell them that you are a vulnerable person and you were coerced by a stranger (she is a stranger) into making the purchase on your account and can they help.

This woman has had ZERO qualms trying to steal this money from you. I would be making it
my life’s work to take her down now.

Or you could go to your or her mosque and ask her imam for advice. Honestly, this practical support network you get is half the point of practicing any religion really.

Do you have any mutual friends?

Do you have a social worker?

Your boyfriend is being a bit passive and crap here. I’d have expected a bit more support from him.

You are clearly articulate and clear thinking from your posts. You just made a naive mistake, and that’s okay - we’ve all done that from time to time.

Yes - this is a good idea. Or say a family member is really angry and stepping in to contact the police on your behalf if she can’t return the money tomorrow.

but then do follow through and contact them. It’s an online form you can do in 10 minutes, really.

@OriginalUsername2

Shes blocked me on everything so I can no longer contact her

@DarkAcademia

Thank you for the advise really appreciate it honestly means a lot. I don’t think I could report it to the police as I willingly made the purchase using my card it’s not as if the friend has stolen my details etc. And I don’t think I can report it as fraud as although her number, name and address is on the order I put my email.

As I’ve mentioned I genuinely don’t have any friends not even someone I talk to casually so I don’t know anyone who knows her and I don’t have a social worker but I have a health visitor.

My boyfriend, although I love him, didn’t help much I agree I’ve had no support from him and don’t feel like I can mention it again to him as it’ll cause us to argue.

I am so sorry op. I would definitely take her to small claims. Don't let her get away with it.

I still think you should contact her mosque and ask for help. Or ask your local leaders for help by contacting hers. You said you are both Muslim I think. You shouldn't feel embarrassed to ask for help.

You now have a screenshot you can show them. I meant to add.

I don’t think you’ll do anything about it because you have such low self-esteem and not much support. That’s not your fault.

Take this as a lesson learned. “Sorry, I don’t lend money.” is what you say to people from now on. Every time they ask. Just that sentence.

You can google questions like “how do I set boundaries” and “how to improve my self-worth” to make yourself a stronger person. Read and try things, gain confidence, get better at navigating these situations in time.

@sandrapinchedmysandwich

Im going to call citizens advice tomorrow and talk to them about it and when im next paid im going to try and make a small claim I looked it up and it said it’ll cost £35 it’s just a lot of stress and anticipating now I’d hate to go through with a small claim just for her to win

I definitely don’t want to leave it, the thought of her not caring at all and sleeping peacefully in the bed every night knowing she’s scammed me into buying her it angers me so much, so I definitely wanna do something about it. I’m going to make a small claim just anxious about it all and if I’ll end up winning.