Mother Hiding Cash

[ZekeZeke]

I'm one of 7 siblings, father is deceased.
My mother (narcissist) has fallen out with each of us at different times over the years.

My youngest sibling 40 (married, works and has a 2 year old) never left home. Her and her DH/DS live with mother.

It's understood and known that she will inherit the house. It's in the will (I've not seen will)
However, my mother purposely doesn't lodge her pension into her bank, she collects it in cash and keeps it at home. She has a separate pension paid into her bank.
My sister pays all the bills.

The reason she is keeping cash is because she doesn't want everyone to know how much she has and also so it won't be shared among us, her children.

There is no point telling her the dangers of keeping cash as she will hasn't admitted she does this.

My question, when she dies how can we prove there was a pile of cash?

My post which you've responded to agrees it's not your problem, so why are you acting as if I've said something different?

I was commenting on you saying you've "made it clear" the care of your mother will fall to your brother. It won't, because it's not your decision. It'll be upto your brother to make his own decision.

Your mother can do what she likes with her cash. She could give it to a cats home if she wants and maybe that is what she is going to do. It isn’t yours to worry about as she is still alive.

I think the point she was trying to make is that the resident sister is likely to steal the cash, intended for them all to share, before the mother is cold.
There’s not a lot you can do about that Op. Parents can be such a disappointment.

I don't know why you have a bee in your bonnet about this topic.The way you have replied to me and others seems that the topic has touched a nerve. To reply to your last post and hopefully move on...I made it clear to my brother that I am not going to be involved. He has gained a lot and he knows! My mother is getting old and she has health issues and so far my brother has stepped up.

It's not exactly hidden if you know she puts it in a box.

In any case, she might live for decades yet, and you have no idea how things will pan out. There is also the matter of her money being hers, and she can do whatever she likes with it. The only issue would be if you have concerns she is being financially abused by your sibling and her DH, and they are taking the money.

No it hasn't touched any nerve. There's just a lot of pressure in society for people to become carers. I see it a lot and how it can destroy people. I don't like for people to think they or someone else has to be a carer and has no choice on it. So I let people know that's not true, if I see it posted. The only "bee in my bonnet" as you put it was frustration that you were acting as though I'd said it was your problem what happens to your mum, when I hadn't said that at all. Thought I'd made that clear with my last post, but obviously not.

Such a sad thread, with far too many posters breaking contact with their mother over their supposed righteous claim to their mother's assets.

Looks like the gloves and mask will be coming out.

You can't- I know this is the way it's done in Scotland, property can be will'd but money is usually to be split. There is no way to prove she's hoarding the money and not spending it she prefers the so long that lives with her and as long as their is no financial coercion she could be handing that over to your sibling every week and she'd be allowed to. You don't like your mother, stop hoping you'll get something out of her when she dies would be my first thought.

Who is the narcissist? Your mother or you op?