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Original poster

Appropriate Sum

67 replies

Petal12 · 30/07/2023 06:49

Hi all, just looking for some guidance on an appropriate gift to my relative. I’m sorry to be so vague but don’t want this to be outing as I believe the relative visits Mumsnet. Very basically my relative took control of a situation that very nearly went pear shaped but didn’t and ultimately resulted in me receiving over £350k. Had relative not stepped and taken control at great inconvenience and time to them, I would not have this money. I would like to gift her. But how much is reasonable?

OP posts:
PickledPurplePickle · 30/07/2023 06:52

How much time did it take them to sort it out?
what’s their financial situation?

TidyDancer · 30/07/2023 06:55

I know you wanted to be vague but this really doesn't have enough info for anyone to tell. Is this a situation where, for example, you've become disabled and the money is meant for living expenses? Or a family business where your relative has performed a fairly major role in turning the company around? Why has the money ended up with you?

Original poster
Petal12 · 30/07/2023 06:56

Time taken just shy of 18 months and their money situation seems ok.

OP posts:
Original poster
Petal12 · 30/07/2023 06:57

It could be seen as absolute bonus money. No accidents/disabilities or reason for me to have the money for a specific purpose.

OP posts:
Temporaryname158 · 30/07/2023 06:59

£50k

Bobbybobbins · 30/07/2023 07:00

Tricky- personally I would say a significant amount as 350k is a large amount, when you've said it's not for eg compensation. Not sure how much though!

Original poster
Petal12 · 30/07/2023 07:01

I am reasonably well off following my husbands death if that makes any difference. The money will allow me to stay in a house I love whereas I though I would have to downsize

OP posts:
Riverlee · 30/07/2023 07:03

Difficult to say without knowing the person. Do you want to give a monetary gift, Or a gift gift?

Vouchers for a Michelin star restaurant and West end vouchers?

Original poster
Petal12 · 30/07/2023 07:04

Yes I’d like to give a monetary gift so they can do with as they wish

OP posts:
AutumnCrow · 30/07/2023 07:08

20%, I reckon.

Original poster
Petal12 · 30/07/2023 07:12

I had mooted 10% myself as a general rule of thumb rather than a set figure plucked out the air

OP posts:
greyhairnomore · 30/07/2023 07:18

Have they asked or have you told them you're thinking of giving them anything?
It sounds like they were kind to help you out and they wanted you to have this money for you.
Would they even take a large sum such as £50k ?

GoodChat · 30/07/2023 07:25

10% sounds good to me if you don't need that money for your home etc.

dreamonlucid · 30/07/2023 07:27

I'd say £20-£25k and you must have some fab friends!

I think I'd 100% give the money gift but maybe add in something special they would like, like a weekend break, amazing restaurant etc, or a piece of jewellery just a keepsake or experience.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 30/07/2023 07:28

10% is huge- I was thinking more a token gift of 10k

AllBlackEverything · 30/07/2023 07:31

I think 10% (£35k)would be great, or perhaps £30k and a special piece of jewellery or something else to keep, which will always remind them of you and how grateful you are for their help.

bagforlifeamnesty · 30/07/2023 07:32

Was the money due to be yours anyway? Like for example had someone left you the money in a will and the probate was difficult and someone contested the will etc but the relative stepped in and you received what was already due to be yours? Or is this additional money that you have ended up with as a result of a shared windfall or something else ?

GiddyGladys · 30/07/2023 08:09

It's a bit vague. Would you have managed to get the money anyway?

Original poster
Petal12 · 30/07/2023 08:22

No I would not have got the money. The money was intended for me but certain things hadn’t been actioned. Had my relative not stepped up the money would have been lost/gone forever

OP posts:
sashagabadon · 30/07/2023 08:26

10% and something like a nice watch?

Reallybadidea · 30/07/2023 08:28

I think the relative might be quite embarrassed/hurt if you offered them money. Presumably they did this for you because they love you and wanted to help, not for monetary reward? I think a letter of heartfelt thanks and a gift that reflects their interests would be more appropriate, personally.

Original poster
Petal12 · 30/07/2023 08:38

Thank you everyone. I think I will take a middle ground approach and gift £10k cash plus a few bits that I know the relative likes eg a years membership at a local spa and some jewellery I know is wanted. I will then forever be generous with their family at birthdays and Christmas - it’s a close relative so I’d buy anyway. I have done a heartfelt card already

OP posts:
MistyMorningMelons · 30/07/2023 08:43

Did the relative get anything out of the situation or are you the only beneficiary?

Seeing as you would've got 0 without their input I'd be thinking anywhere from £50k to 50%. I don't think £10k is enough, personally.

Totaly · 30/07/2023 08:46

I think £10K and some expensive Jewellery would be fine.

iwasthewalrus · 30/07/2023 08:49

MistyMorningMelons · 30/07/2023 08:43

Did the relative get anything out of the situation or are you the only beneficiary?

Seeing as you would've got 0 without their input I'd be thinking anywhere from £50k to 50%. I don't think £10k is enough, personally.

I agree. £10k looks a bit pathetic. I’d go £50k and I wouldn’t offer it, I’d give it. Either leave a card with a £50k cheque in or get their bank details and just put it in.

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