Will I end up in a tent ?

[user1488308965]

Married 29 years . One child nearly 18 . Disabled . Going through a divorce . I am a carer. He is not far off retirement . I’m younger .
There is not a lot of money in the pot to share out .Judge said no spousal support and clean break.He keeps his pension .
I will have to claim universal credit for me alone
i wont be able to afford to live ,eat , or pay bills .I will only get universal credit (single person ) as child will be over 18
I need to know what other woman do in this position as I will lose most of my income is related around my life as a carer and a mother .ie child maintenance ( solicitor advised it will end at 19 years) child benefit will end . My child will have to make their own claims for any benefits .
I also have a terminal disease .
So all I would be left with is £73.00 a week and carers allowance ( not guaranteed )
I feel that giving up my career to look after a disabled child is seen as “a choice”by this government and the courts .when in reality if I would not off been around to care for my child , they would not survived . I feel at a loss completely , I could seriously end up sleeping in a tent , if I could afford one .

So sorry for this shit shit shit situation, OP 💐

Do you have your own sollicitor? If he gets to keep his pension, then you should be entitled to more than half of the house proceeds to offset your half of that penison.

So there’s the dripfeed that was obviously coming.

Disingenuous to complain about the lack of pension share and obfuscate about the house equity share, percentage and value.

How would a pension sharing order help immediately anyway? You couldn’t access it until 55 or even later depending on your age now.

Sometimes, there’s not a lot to share out. If half (?) the house equity won’t buy you a house, it won’t buy him a house either. From a judge’s point of view if he’s too old to rebuild his pension, what is he going to live on if some is awarded to you?

You are in a really difficult situation and this specific impacting of caring for all this time absolutely sucks. But it sounds like that’s the issue here - not a judge deciding not to grant a PSO.

Is the equity enough to buy in a cheaper town?

I am sorry for your difficult situation. I realise predictions of life expectancy can be inaccurate, but what guidance have your doctors given you? Why did the judge decide against pension sharing after such a long marriage - had you requested more than 50% of the FMH? If not, how much will you get from the sale of the house?

So sorry to hear you're in this situation OP. I think you need two sorts of advice.

Housing advice, regarding your housing situation, and benefit advice. Macmillan will be able to help you claim PIP, and probably give you advice re other benefits too.

With your diagnosis, and if your disabled son is going to remain living with you, you may be eligible for council housing. Ring the council and ask to speak to someone about homelessness, explain that you're a carer for your disabled son and that you have a terminal illness.

Another possibility is using your share of the equity in the house to buy part of a shared ownership property and then you could get UC to cover the rental part.

If you're intending to use the money from the sale of the matrimonial home towards a new home, it will be disregarded for benefit purposes for (iirc) at least 6 months, so you could still get UC while you find a shared ownership place.

Your son will soon be able to get UC in his own right, and will hopefully get the extra £354 for limited capability for work related activity once he's been assessed, plus his PIP, so he should be able to make a significant contribution to housing costs, bills and food.

If the area where you're currently living has high house prices, your share could be enough to buy in a cheaper part of the country if you were prepared to move to a different area. A friend has just moved to Shropshire from Sussex for exactly this reason.

I'm gobsmacked by the divorce settlement though. That's brutal.