Brother living in inherited house, banning siblings from visiting, probate

[GudrunM]

Hi...

My father died last year, left his house (no mortgage) equally between his 3 offspring , with my sister 53 and brother 42 as executors. My brother has never left the family home, and has I think only worked maybe 3 years in his life, when he was around 20...has never studied, volunteered or travelled. Not sure what he does with his life actually... nothing criminal, not an alcoholic, etc....just a bit of a loner. He also was not my Dad´s carer as my Dad was very healthy and able up until his death.

Thing is, my Dad left a little note, signed by himself ( not as part of his will) stating that my brother can ´stay in the house, rent free, only paying household bills, for as long as he wants´!!

My sister & I are pretty sure throughout his life, he barely contributed anything for rent to my Dad, or to cover bills...so of course he is taking full advantage of this continued rent free situation ( lovely, 3 bed semi, with a garage and garden) , and banned us from the home since 3 weeks after the funeral. He calls it ´his home!´

A solicitor has already said the note is not legally valid, but my sister and I decided to honour Dad´s wishes for a ´while´, ideally 1 year, to give our brother time to find his direction & find his own , 1st home, something not so difficult, as we are set to inherit around 100 thousand each from Dad´s house.

He also started a legal case against my sister, stating he cannot complete probate, as she lied about not owing Dad any money. (not true) The brother has spent almost 1 year now, searching around Dad´s rather muddled financial receipts, looking for any scrap of paper that may suggest any loans took place, even going back to 2004!.... He seems to hold some kind of vendetta against my sister, as she often tried to gently bring up when visiting, his lack of ambition, travel, work, even volunteering....and also not paying rent.

The younger brother states that attempting to visit him , in his home would be seen as ´harrassment & intimidation`!!

I can honestly say that Dad would be weeping, to see how things are, not even 1 year after his passing!

My sister has a husband , both working full time, and 2 children, just starting Uni.

I live in a small, rented place, have always worked too, often 2 jobs, and travel a lot.

For us both, this amount of money could make a massive difference in our lives, but we are equally frustrated and at a loss of what to do, without destroying what relationship we may have still, or being seen as vultures.

Plus, I don´t know how he handles real life, and stress, etc...but he seems to be happily prolonging everything for the sake of it, with the solicitor case against my sister, etc.

The main and deeply upsetting thing is what my brother has become....and that we can´t visit my late Dad´s home, for memories and to handle our grieving processes...
When I write sweetly to him, or send gifts, he mainly just ignores me.
Does anyone have any ideas how to progress? Thanks!!!!

So that is illegal.

Would your brother actually have access to money from the estate to spend on vexatious personal legal fees - if the money is mainly tied up in the house and he has no intention whatsoever of selling it?

I can't imagine any solicitor being willing to let him run up a big bill if his means to pay for it is locked up in a house that he hasn't made the slightest inroads or enquiries into selling to liquidate the cash?

Your sister absolutely hasn't covered herself in glory either - she doesn't sound a lot better than him, to be honest. In her potential slight defence, I wonder whether she saw it coming right back then that your brother was going to end up with the house all to himself, so she thought she'd get in there first and grab a massive chunk for herself in advance? Even so, she doesn't seem to have paid you and you getting a fair share any mind.

You really need to sue them both for robbing the estate.

This may be a blessing in disguise. It might be best to let them battle it out. If two executors are clearly locked in a contentious dispute, the judge is highly likely to remove them both and appoint a neutral third party.

The judge is also likely to make them pay their own costs and not from the estate.

This is the point where you would need legal advice, and a shit hot forensic accountant. What you'd be trying to establish is the value of estate at the time your dad passed away, before it was squandered.

PM me if you want, I have some indirect experience of this (happened to a friend). You will need to start squirrelling away anything you can for legal fees now though - to use later.

I've been an Executor to my step dad and also to my mum. I had no access to any money in their bank accounts or shares until I could give the banks the official documentation from the Probate office. The bank did allow me to pay funeral expenses but all other money was frozen until Probate was granted. Utility bills that were outstanding - electricity etc - had to wait until Probate was granted and the companies concerned were very understanding of this.

Surely if your brother is accessing your father's accounts this is fraud and the banks concerned should be told at once.

If the brother were foolish enough to drag this through the courts forever, I could envisage this ending with the house having to be sold in the end to pay the legal fees.

It could be a truly pyrrhic victory and utterly stupid, when he could have had a guaranteed 6-figure sum all along, along with his sisters.

@GudrunM I would maybe start a new thread in Legal Matters, summarising the current situation only, and asking for the cheapest route to have both executors replaced by a neutral third party. It may be that your siblings will unwittingly do this for you, by both trying to have the other removed.

It's all so disrespectful to your dad's memory. But as it now transpires both of them were quite happy to bleed him for money when he was alive, it's perhaps no great surprised they're continuing to do it after his death. Seems pretty clear your sister never paid back any of the so-called loan.

I hope one day this can be resolved fairly, but it all has a very strong whiff of Jarndyce & Jarndyce about it, where the case was settled at the point where the estate had been used up in legal fees.