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Original poster

I have done a terrible thing

67 replies

Goldie232 · 18/04/2023 23:52

Hi
I have done a really terrible thing and I can't forgive myself

My parents are in their 70's. I am very close to them. A couple of years ago they asked me if I could save some money for them in an account in my name. They usually save £500 per month in and there is well over 10k in there. Occasionally they will ask me to transfer some to them if they are going on holiday.

A couple of weeks ago I had a nightmare situation where I had a £700 car bill on top of a broken fridge. Money is tight at the moment so I haven't got this much spare money.

In a desperate state I transferred £500 from my parents money and £500 from my sons's savings account.

I paid my parents money back in 5 days later when I was able. Not paid son back yet but I can do that over a few months.

My parents don't know what I did and I feel awful. I lay awake last night feeling like the worst person in the world. I know it was deceitful but I was desperate and panicking.

My Parents don't know but I feel that I should tell them what I did. I am so ashamed at myself

WWYD?

OP posts:
AthenaPopodopolous · 18/04/2023 23:56

Sounds like you have a trustworthy setup and you paid it back. Nothing to worry about I’d say.

PaigeMatthews · 18/04/2023 23:57

Why is it in your name anyway?

DowntonCrabby · 18/04/2023 23:59

You’ve paid it back and it’s the risk they take to be honest! Forgive yourself, move on and look into ways you may be able to put some money aside for any emergencies that pop up in the future.

StarDolphins · 19/04/2023 00:00

This is imo nothing at all to worry about. They have their money, all good!

ChocChipHandbag · 19/04/2023 00:01

Is it in your name so that they can use your ISA allowance in top of their own?

Bumcake · 19/04/2023 00:01

Would they have loaned it to you if you’d asked?

LucifersLight · 19/04/2023 00:21

Is the money being put in your name to try and avoid future care home fees or something? You should have asked them first, am sure they would have helped you out. It’s done now, well 50% of it is…

Porkandbeans1 · 19/04/2023 00:30

I would be more concerned about the money being saved in your name than you borrowing a small amount for a few days. Are you aware of the inheritance tax rules?

ClairDeLaLune · 19/04/2023 00:30

Don’t give it a second thought OP. You paid it back. It was just a little borrow.

What your parents are doing is worse. It sounds like deliberate deprivation. Google it. It’s quite likely it will be found out by the authorities at some point.

misssunshine4040 · 19/04/2023 00:40

I honestly don't know why you are tying yourself in knots over this. What is so wrong with that? I would have just said to them I need to dip £1k and will repay within the next 5 days. I wouldn't have touched my sons money.
What are you saving money for them for? I would be careful about that. It's your account in your name regardless

AdoraBell · 19/04/2023 00:47

You’ve paid it back so no reason to be ashamed. Also, you didn’t use it for a weekend away or to party. You needed to pay the car bill and either repair or replace the fridge.

MysteryBelle · 19/04/2023 01:00

Why are you ashamed? It’s fine. Tell your parents what you’ve told us. You were unable to pay for these two unforeseen financial burdens and so you used 500 of their money and put it back in 5 days. Ideally you should have asked them first. And your son’s account—it’s fine. You will pay that back too. Let him know, just be up front about it. Don’t feel bad about it. I’ve had to do similar to my son’s account. He was fine with it.

PyongyangKipperbang · 19/04/2023 01:30

Are they "saving" it in your name so you have a nest egg when they pass that, because it is in your name, you dont have to pay IHT on and have instant access to? Seems an odd set up otherwise.

Ladybug14 · 19/04/2023 03:54

Nothing wrong with borrowing the money and paying it back

If the account is in your name to avoid tax in some way, then that's wrong

readbooksdrinktea · 19/04/2023 04:01

That's a lot of angst for money you've already paid back.

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/04/2023 05:25

I think it’s pretty rum of your parents to do this to you when you struggle with a bill of less than 1k. They’re taking advantage of your tax free allowance by the sound of it. Maybe turn this on its head. Your parents have £500 a month surplus and aren’t helping you out at all.

BarbaraofSeville · 19/04/2023 05:34

readbooksdrinktea · 19/04/2023 04:01

That's a lot of angst for money you've already paid back.

This.

But why are your parents getting you to save the money?

Is it because they'd spend it on crap and not be able to afford a holiday or is it so they can claim benefits that they wouldn't be entitled to if they had savings or similar?

Tell them to save their own money. If you needed to claim benefits it could get complicated as it would look like you had savings that you'd be expected to use first.

carriedout · 19/04/2023 05:39

You haven't done anything terrible.

The arrangement sounds very dodgy, though. Why are your parents doing this?

Willmafrockfit · 19/04/2023 05:45

very tempting
but you paid it back
will they find out?
could you tell them?

pilates · 19/04/2023 06:47

Just tell them.
I would be more concerned about the setup you have, is it legal?

cptartapp · 19/04/2023 07:03

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/04/2023 05:25

I think it’s pretty rum of your parents to do this to you when you struggle with a bill of less than 1k. They’re taking advantage of your tax free allowance by the sound of it. Maybe turn this on its head. Your parents have £500 a month surplus and aren’t helping you out at all.

This.

Wonnle · 19/04/2023 07:48

The savings in an account in your name sounds a bit like a tax dodge to me , and possibly illegal to boot if found out about

imnotsickbutimnotwell · 19/04/2023 07:59

I would be more worried about why you are storing their money in your name. This might not be legal and be considered deprivation of assets depending on why they are doing Did you look into the legal implications regarding this and inheritance tax rules when you agreed to it? Maybe speak to citizens advice.

Roussette · 19/04/2023 08:05

Why on earth are you worrying about this? If my (adult) DCs did this and paid it back, I wouldn't give it a second thought. And I'd give you the £500 to keep!

Why can't they manage their own savings? Why are you doing it? Sounds odd they can't manage it themseles

Lampan · 19/04/2023 08:06

I’d be a lot more worried about the legal implications of the account being in your name, than I would about borrowing and paying back some money from an account in my own name 😬