Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

Worried about financial security with DH's will

65 replies

Sandymummy · 15/04/2023 13:26

I think I may be overthinking and stressing myself out unnecessarily here…..My DH and I are sorting out our wills. This isn’t really straightforward as he is 20 years older than I am and has two grown up children. We also have a DC together. The current plan is that in his will 50% will go to me and 50% split to SC. My overthinking brain is worrying that if (touch wood) he lives to be a great old age, then I will potentially be in my 70s and will need to remortgage our home or move house to release money. I am a sensible planner and have worked hard to have some financial security so I am worried about this. I absolutely think it is right that SC inherit so don’t really want to suggest anything different.
My question is …..is anyone in a similar situation? Are there any legal/ finance brains on here to offer me advice?

Sorry this is potentially a shameless attempt to get free financial advice 😂

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 15/04/2023 13:43

Why would you need to remortgage or release equity if he lives to a great old age?

Most wills where this sort of assets split are suggested have a clause saying the spouse can reside in the property until the event of their death/remarriage/relocation, so no capital has to be released immediately to pay the other 50% to SC - it’s deferred.

As an aside, why is your joint DC not inheriting an equal share?

Dogsarebetterthanhumans · 15/04/2023 13:45

I am a chartered banker although I must stress that anything I offer you on MN does not constitute financial advice.

What is it exactly that you are concerned about OP? I think you may be overthinking this one. Remember, accept the things you can’t change and deals with the things you can change.

What are your pension arrangements? You may find some solid financial advice in that respect now will make all the difference.

Btw: You don’t need to necessarily sell your home to release equity if you don’t want to- you can just release the equity and stay there. Obviously this becomes a lifetime mortgage and requires financial advice.

Stay calm, all will be okay. I know it’s scary but equally touch wood, nobody is dying tomorrow.

best wishes
x

Original poster
Sandymummy · 15/04/2023 13:48

To answer some of your questions...

There is only 10 years between me and SC so it felt a bit unfair to expect them to wait until my death to inherit anything.

We earn similar amounts but don't have lots of money floating about so the capital is in the house which why I am worrying I would need to sell/ remortgage.

Our DC is much younger so she would end up inheriting all from me at some point. I would most likely put a chunk in an account for her if she was still under 18 which would be unlikely I hope.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sandymummy · 15/04/2023 13:52

Ah thank you.

I am a teacher so have a teacher’s pension. It’s not to my credit that I don’t know a lot about it!!

I think I’m worried about dealing with the loss whilst also having to take on a larger mortgage at a time when I would be retired.

I am definitely guilty of worrying and overthinking!!

OP posts:
titchy · 15/04/2023 13:53

Still don't see why you think you'd need to sell.... are you worried your pension is low - in which case sort that out!

I disagree it's unfair his dc would have to wait. It's the natural consequence of their father marrying a much younger woman. If he wants to leave them something immediate then he should look into life insurance or save a lump sum for them.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 15/04/2023 13:53

Your joint DC should still inherit from their father so he is doing them a disservice. His DC from another marriage will also inherit from their mother so that doesn’t make sense

Floofydawg · 15/04/2023 13:58

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 15/04/2023 13:53

Your joint DC should still inherit from their father so he is doing them a disservice. His DC from another marriage will also inherit from their mother so that doesn’t make sense

Yep, agree with this.

Also, assuming you jointly own the house, can he not have a provision in his will for you to live there until you die? Surely he doesn't want to force you to sell.

CanoeADo · 15/04/2023 13:58

50% seems like a lot to leave the children when you have a spouse. Both my Mum and Dh's Mum died, neither of them left 50% to the children. They left small amounts, the vast majority passed to their husbands and rightly so as they are retired.

Why is your Dh only considering the children from his first marriage? I think you should both get financial advice on this.

NoSquirrels · 15/04/2023 14:02

You won’t get a mortgage when you’re retired, of course, so this is a legitimate concern. However, it’s not your concern that the adult DC would have to wait for an inheritance. In order to not be homeless, the clause about not making you homeless should be there.

And your DH should treat his 3 biological DC fairly. It’s sort of fair that you get the extra 25% for your joint DC, but it’s sort of not, actually, as that inheritance might get taken in care costs etc. It might be fairer that you get 50% and the other 50% is split 3 ways, with your DC’s in trust until they’re an adult.

You and DH should calmly discuss all the ramifications- a good will writer can help think things through.

converseandjeans · 15/04/2023 14:08

As a teacher you would get a lump sum on retirement so you could look into how much that would be.

Your DH should split his share into 3 between all his biological children. Then your half would go to whoever you decide to leave it to.

I haven't had anything from my Dad when he passed away. My Mum has everything for the moment. So I think you should get a clause in there about not having to move out and sell up to provide the older children with their 50%.

Wallywobbles · 15/04/2023 14:31

My DH pointed out that if anything happened to me he wouldn't be able to stay in the house. So he has usufruit in the properties I own including the family home. He also has the responsibility for upkeep. My kids will just have to wait I'm afraid.

My kids will get the shares etc I own. They are aware of this.

Could your DH do something similar and diversify so the kids get something when he dies and then something later.

My DF left everything to my Step mum. She is leaving it to the grandkids who are more of the age to need it.

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/04/2023 14:48

If he’s leaving half to you and half to his children then that half should be split 3 ways, not to 2. Your shared child is as much his responsibility as the older ones.

DeeHellem · 15/04/2023 14:53

NoSquirrels · 15/04/2023 14:02

You won’t get a mortgage when you’re retired, of course, so this is a legitimate concern. However, it’s not your concern that the adult DC would have to wait for an inheritance. In order to not be homeless, the clause about not making you homeless should be there.

And your DH should treat his 3 biological DC fairly. It’s sort of fair that you get the extra 25% for your joint DC, but it’s sort of not, actually, as that inheritance might get taken in care costs etc. It might be fairer that you get 50% and the other 50% is split 3 ways, with your DC’s in trust until they’re an adult.

You and DH should calmly discuss all the ramifications- a good will writer can help think things through.

You CAN get a mortgage in retirement.

In addition to traditional mortgages there are retirement interest only mortgages and lifetime mortgages.

Sunseed · 15/04/2023 15:26

Do you currently own the house as Joint Tenants or as Tenants in Common? If you are JTs the house would be wholly yours anyway and not part of DH estate.

Original poster
Sandymummy · 15/04/2023 15:37

Tennants in common with equal split (50%) so DH will covers his half of the house. As it stands that means I would need to remortgage/ sell to release 25% of the value.
We have little other assets tbh.

OP posts:
titchy · 15/04/2023 15:41

Sandymummy · 15/04/2023 15:37

Tennants in common with equal split (50%) so DH will covers his half of the house. As it stands that means I would need to remortgage/ sell to release 25% of the value.
We have little other assets tbh.

Not if he had the usual clause of allowing you to live in the house till you die or move, then it gets sold and his dc's inherit then. Given that you currently have a child between you who would need housing, anything requiring his older dcs to inherit immediately is ridiculous.

Chewbecca · 15/04/2023 15:42

One solution advisors sometimes propose for this very problem is taking out an insurance policy on your DH life which is used to 'pay off' the SC.
Not one I personally am a fan of but might be suitable and worth considering for your situation.

Floofydawg · 15/04/2023 15:48

I own 75% of our house but I can't see a scenario where I would write my will in such a way that would leave my DH homeless just so that my DD could inherit from me. Inheritance is a privilege, not a right.

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 15/04/2023 15:52

It's tricky. My best mates Dad left her and her brother his share (one rhird) of the house he shared with his wife. Quite rightly won't be paid unless she moves. She is both much younger and from a long lived family so seems unlikely that friend will see it in her lifetime!

NoSquirrels · 15/04/2023 15:59

Why are you anxious about the idea of the older SC waiting for their inheritance?

mybeautifuloak · 15/04/2023 16:03

I agree with others. It should be 50% to you and the remaining 50% split 3 ways to all of his dc. His older dc have a mother they will inherit from that obviously your dc won't, so if your dh is being fair he would leave your dc the same as the older two so all of them inherit from him and their own mothers.

Felixss · 15/04/2023 16:04

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 15/04/2023 13:53

Your joint DC should still inherit from their father so he is doing them a disservice. His DC from another marriage will also inherit from their mother so that doesn’t make sense

This isn't necessarily true I won't inherit anything from my mother and this is the same for a lot of people.

FL0 · 15/04/2023 16:05

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 15/04/2023 13:53

Your joint DC should still inherit from their father so he is doing them a disservice. His DC from another marriage will also inherit from their mother so that doesn’t make sense

This. It’s terrible that he is leaving nothing to his younger children !

AnotherEmma · 15/04/2023 16:09

Sandymummy · 15/04/2023 15:37

Tennants in common with equal split (50%) so DH will covers his half of the house. As it stands that means I would need to remortgage/ sell to release 25% of the value.
We have little other assets tbh.

As PPs have said, it's pretty simple - he just needs to add a clause to his will to say that you can stay in the house and the 25% share of the equity will go to his two older children (your stepchildren) if and when you sell, die or remarry.

Do you have a will and if so what's in yours?

Original poster
Sandymummy · 15/04/2023 16:21

Mine more straightforward. Most to DH unless he’s not here and then to DC.

OP posts: