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Original poster

Worried about financial security with DH's will

65 replies

Sandymummy · 15/04/2023 13:26

I think I may be overthinking and stressing myself out unnecessarily here…..My DH and I are sorting out our wills. This isn’t really straightforward as he is 20 years older than I am and has two grown up children. We also have a DC together. The current plan is that in his will 50% will go to me and 50% split to SC. My overthinking brain is worrying that if (touch wood) he lives to be a great old age, then I will potentially be in my 70s and will need to remortgage our home or move house to release money. I am a sensible planner and have worked hard to have some financial security so I am worried about this. I absolutely think it is right that SC inherit so don’t really want to suggest anything different.
My question is …..is anyone in a similar situation? Are there any legal/ finance brains on here to offer me advice?

Sorry this is potentially a shameless attempt to get free financial advice 😂

OP posts:
lionsleepstonight · 27/07/2023 08:20

Oh, just realised, our wills are slightly different as in we don't leave each other anything (as we'll still own 50%) and our SC / DC get it split between them.

This way it avoids any DCs (step or not) being written out if one of us re marries ( at least from the first estate).

caringcarer · 27/07/2023 08:22

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 15/04/2023 13:53

Your joint DC should still inherit from their father so he is doing them a disservice. His DC from another marriage will also inherit from their mother so that doesn’t make sense

I would point out it's not fair for your joint DC to ignored by your DH. He should split that 50 percent between his 3 children leaving all 3 children to potential inherit from their mothers at a later date providing their money doesn't get swallowed up by care home fees. If that were to happen to you your joint child could end up with nothing. Point this out to him.

caringcarer · 27/07/2023 08:28

TempNCforthis · 17/04/2023 13:11

I'm in a similar position but only recently married after a longer relationship. DH owns his house outright but I pay most of our bills and reduced my contract/ good salary to care for him. He won't put me on the deeds to the house, effectively making me homeless and penniless should anything happen to him. He'd get my pension and life insurance though. He changed his will with a 'view to marriage' to avoid me inheriting any rights and won't let me see the will. Thinking of leaving but my income is halved now.

@Belleweather he sounds absolutely horrible. Is there any way you can change your pension and life assurance so he doesn't get a penny from you?

If you've only recently married then you could divorce him and be back to where you were. He could care for himself as far as I was concerned. I'd go back to working full time and leave the selfish bastard to it.

I'd do the same. Horrible man.

Groutyonehereagain · 27/07/2023 08:35

Have you two talked about this? Don’t your DH want to make sure you’re ok, if he goes first?

Groutyonehereagain · 27/07/2023 08:36

*doesn’t

Muchtoomuchtodo · 27/07/2023 08:37

Apart from the imbalance between all 3 children I’m worried that your concerns are for so far in the future.

your wills need to work for you now. As circumstances change, if you’re lucky enough to live to old age then they should be amended accordingly.

you definitely need to seek professional advice about this op. And may I suggest sorting power of attorneys out at the same time

determinedtomakethiswork · 27/07/2023 08:40

Sandymummy · 15/04/2023 16:21

Mine more straightforward. Most to DH unless he’s not here and then to DC.

Yes but yours shouldn't say that. Anything you then leave to your husband is going to be split between the step children and your own children.

Idrankyourbananamilk · 27/07/2023 08:43

OP, what happens to the youngest child if you die first? Most of yours is going to your husband, who will then leave it all to his older children?

okiedokie1 · 27/07/2023 08:48

Idrankyourbananamilk · 27/07/2023 08:43

OP, what happens to the youngest child if you die first? Most of yours is going to your husband, who will then leave it all to his older children?

Why would he leave it all to his eldest two? They are all his dc so surely he'd split 3 ways

Lovetotravel123 · 27/07/2023 08:51

Would life insurance help with this?

Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie · 27/07/2023 08:52

It’s good that you have realised this now rather than later. You must change your will. If you are in an accident with DH and you die, then him your child will be left with nothing.

I assume you have spoken to him and let him know he is potentially leaving your child homeless? I would give him the option of giving you a lifetime interest in house or you will have to sell your share of the house with him and buy something on your own.

okiedokie1 · 27/07/2023 08:53

I have a question. If the house is co-owned then when one spouse leaves say 50% if their assets to their first dc or to a dog's home or whatever, is it deemed that 'their assets' are 50% or some other % of the house? They obviously can't leave ALL the martial assets as some of those assets belong to the surviving spouse

CwmYoy · 27/07/2023 08:58

Why isn't he leaving anything to the youngest DC?

His 50% to the children should be split 3 ways not 2.

Codlingmoths · 27/07/2023 09:06

So if you die, your joint child, dhs youngest gets… very little and Dh gets most of it? And if he dies you get half, his older children gets half and his youngest child gets nothing.
Why is no one looking after the poor youngest here? They could possibly be still too young to look after themselves when one of you pops off. If you both died in a car accident together your youngest could be an orphan minor wiht no inheritance. You both need to change your wills to be fair to your joint child personally. Wills tend to act as a final message on how much you were loved, and it’s not looking like a nice message from here.

NoSquirrels · 27/07/2023 09:15

okiedokie1 · 27/07/2023 08:53

I have a question. If the house is co-owned then when one spouse leaves say 50% if their assets to their first dc or to a dog's home or whatever, is it deemed that 'their assets' are 50% or some other % of the house? They obviously can't leave ALL the martial assets as some of those assets belong to the surviving spouse

This is an original thread from April. Not sure everyone realises that!

But to answer your question, it depends on how the house is co-owned.

Joint tenants (most usual) = 50% each.

Tenants in common = whatever percentage was specified in the paperwork when you bought it.

If you don’t remember having that discussion with a solicitor it’s likely that it’s joint tenants = 50%.

Other ‘marital assets’ e.g. savings accounts it depends whose name the accounts are in. Joint names, 50%. Individual names, 100% the asset of the person whose name it’s in. So if your DH has ALL the family savings in their name, you would only get 50% of that if that’s what the will said. If you had all the family savings in joint names, you’d get 100%.

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