How do you sort your bills together when you’re on maternity?

[hunkydory13]

Hi all,

I’m just looking for a bit advice.

I am currently on maternity and my husband works full-time. I am currently receiving maternity pay (2 months full pay, 4 months half pay, 3 months statutory and 3 months unpaid). I am still classed as full-time employment (annual salary £25,000) and my husband is full time (annual salary £45,000).

We both pay half each on mortgage, bills, food etc and whatever money we have left we put some in joint savings and the rest of the money is what we have each to spend on e.g. night outs, cinema, etc (now of course our baby)!

We discussed that I will obviously be receiving a lot less income due to the maternity pay reducing but also when I return to work I will be going back part-time. My husband said that as of the time when I am receiving statutory pay he will pay more towards the mortgage, bills, etc and I will have some money (for baby, any lunches etc) which I thought was a great idea until he said when I go back to work part-time I will be paying what I paid before maternity leave. I find this a little unfair and wondering if anyone else has experienced this?

I feel because I’ll be going back part-time maybe he should still pay a bit more towards the bills than I should?

Any advice?

We add our salaries together then split it so we both have equal money every month and have done all through maternity leave and when I went part time. This means every month DP gives me some of his wage so we're equal as I earn less. We then pay mortgage bills 50/50 and have equal spare money left. We split the food shop and anything I buy for DD or the house as it tends to be me organising that he pays me back half. The only other way to do it would be to pay a percentage of the bills in accordance with your drop in salary. Anything else is unfair in my opinion.

Say if he wants you to pay half you'll be going back full time and neither of you will have any money as you'll be paying for childcare!

Do people really not discuss this sort of thing before deciding to have a baby or do they get swept away with the idea of a baby without thinking about the practicalities?

So it's not really a marriage then. Ridiculous. How dis it even happen that you paid 50% when he earns 20k more than you? Do you think this sort of person will make a good parent? He is so so selfish, what a prick.

As soon as you have a child the FAMILY takes a hit in terms of ability to earn - either one or both of you drop hours or you pay through the nose for childcare. In most cases it’s the mother who drops hours and takes on most of the childcare, but it’s a family responsibility. You are restricting your hours worked, your salary, your career progression and your pension - not just for mat leave but likely for years and years to come. The only fair way is that all money goes into one pot from which all family expenses are paid. If there is money left over you get equal money to individual accounts and some to joint savings, making sure you continue to make pension contributions. Even if you contribute in proportion to your income to a joint account you will be shafted as you’ll have very little left over and he’ll have lots. Asking you to contribute half when you drop to maybe £12.5k and he earns £45k is ludicrous. Bill him for childcare on a Norland Nanny salary!

I'm about to go on maternity leave so we've just done this.

We are changing to having both of our salaries paid into the joint account, budgeting for everything we both need (mortgage, bills, groceries, birthday & Christmas gifts, holidays, money for baby activities) and then we both get the same amount of 'fun money' transferred into our personal accounts each month which we can spend on whatever we like.

In non-maternity times I earn £10k more than him, so he will 'benefit' when I'm back at work, but at this stage we felt it was the right thing to fully merge our finances as we're a family.

DH covered all house hold costs when I went down to statutory ( don't think I took unpaid) with our first and covered nursery costs for DS when I was off with Dd via childcare vouchers so v.tax efficient. My occupational maternity package is pretty good so went from take home approx £1,800 pcm to £1,300 so not such as massive drop. We have both put a proprtion of our salary in to the joint account and the house hold bills come out of that.

You should have a joint account into which all money goes in and from which you can equally take money. I can't believe how many women on mumsnet make themselves financially vulnerable by not setting up a joint account before making the decision to have a baby with someone. Are you equal partners in the relationship or not?

Also worth saying I always did some of my hours on weekends so he did his fair share of childcare.

Excellent post

Perfect. The original thread is here

To me, it seems only right and fair that both parents have access to money, whoever is earning it. If you don't currently pool your incomes, now is the time.
You being on maternity leave, or reduced hours, is facilitating him working full time. Don't ever forget that

Tell him your going back full time and he will soon change his tune soon as he sees the cost of nursery fees that he will have to contribute towards .

Your husband is taking the piss.

I've estimated that your monthly net incomes are about £2715 (him) and £1660 (you). That's assuming a 5% pension contribution and obviously it could be different. Anyway, based on that he earns 62% of your combined income and you earn 38%, so those are the proportions each of you should be contributing to shared expenses such as mortgage, bills, food, etc.

The 50/50 arrangement you have so far is already unfair and that's before you consider maternity leave/pay and returning to work part time ie on reduced earnings. Your contributions should be adjusted as your income changes at each stage, ie when you're half pay, when you're on SMP only, if you take the final few months unpaid, and if you return part-time.

If this is his attitude and he's unwilling to consider your point of view and a fairer split, my advice is to take 6 months maternity leave only (or 9 months max - but definitely none unpaid) and return to work full time. You'll need to hold onto your financial independence with a husband like this.

I love her! Genius!

This is how we've done it since we married.

Ok looks like my quote didn't work but in essence confirming we pool everything we earn and take the same spends each!

Everything in the same pot, bills paid out of the pot, some put into joint savings, the rest to spend. This works for us as neither of us are big spenders and we budget together each month and discuss big purchases, but if one was a bigger spender then I guess you’d need to allocate a monthly allowance each.

No clue why couples don’t share resources.

You're married.... all this my money, your money stuff is nonsense.

You're the mother of his child and his wife, he should be eager to provide for you, not hassle you about bills

This is the well trodden path of many a woman who found herself with absolutely fuck down the line. You need to redress the whole setup because it wasn't appropriate before baby came into the mix. You can't go halves with your husband who earns 20k more than you! That's ludicrous. Whatever you do you need to consider your financial health going forward; compromising your earnings/work patterns whilst your husband's continue unabated will not end well.