Please tell me about your joint accounts

[NameOchangeO1]

My DH and I have been married a long time and have mostly separate finances, with a shared joint account covering mortgage, (most) utilities, childcare, school fees. For various reasons I think it would be better (including that we would potentially be better off) if we pooled our money more.

So I've proposed to DH that we pool the majority of our money each month- eg 90% and that we should agree what costs will be met out of that pool. But I'm wondering how about other people deal with joint accounts where both of you earn a decent amount. Do you pool the lot? If not, how do you decide what you keep separate, and what things do you spend your "own" money on? Women tend to have higher necessary personal expenses (more expensive to get a hair cut, need to buy toiletries etc) than men, so do you factor that in?

Thanks

We have separate bank accounts. In fact I don’t know precisely how much my husbands earns altho he’d be happy to tell me. Bills are split evenly , more or less. We don’t have a mortgage but he covers the cost of anything that needs doing to the house and I cover anything the kids need. He also pays our cleaner too. Personal expenses are down to the individual. I have a property in Dorset that I inherited from my grandparents and he has his own investment portfolio. That said we have no problem discussing finances.

We pool everything then each get an equal amount of spending money paid back into our individual accounts, to be spent in any way we like.

We’ve used this method ever since we moved in together and it works really well for us. In reality now we have much higher incomes the spending money is less important as there is money for whatever we want (within reason). But it has seen us through each of us earning more & less at different times, kept things equal when I was part time with young dc etc.

We put all of our money into one pot and then take a monthly 'pocket money' back to private accounts. We both have the same amount of pocket money and we can save or splurge as we see fit. I have be paid more, he has at other times and it has remained the same. Feels very fair and enabled us to save for many wonderful things.

We do this, and have savings coming out as a monthly expense so we both contribute. There is some juggling to ensure more or less even holding of savings ie £5k each into an ISA in each name rather than one person holding £10k
We have the YNAB approach and allocate each £ a job, to that annual expenses such as insurances and car costs are saved for across the year. Holidays are in this too. It is a surprisingly large amount of money each month.

We have equal amounts of fun money for personal spends , but if the joint account is flush it might treat us to a theatre trip or a takeaway

We just pool everything together in one account. We have a rule where if we want to spend over £100 on a personal purchase we run it past the other, but that's the only rule. We have a similar outlook on money and spending so it works for us. I do have friends who have different spending habits and attitudes to their partner and ourway probably wouldn't work for them.

We have a joint account where everything comes out of each month.

I pay more into it than dh because I earn quite a bit more.

We then have our own individual accounts to do what we want with.

Dh is notorious shit with money so I like it this way.

He can blow thru hundreds a month with nothing to show for it. He's always been the same.

I have recently bailed him out for the very last time as it frustrates me to hell and I've paid out so much more this last year for things for dc and around the house compared to him so I've put my foot down.

I have always earnt my own money and been financially independent and I am bringing up my dc to be the same.

Pool everything. Both get spending money each month; mine is spent, his is usually splurged on gadgets from time to time.

Joint credit card. Most expenses on that, and its paid off each month.

we’ve earned similarly and we’ve earned differently but this has been the way since we were married. Prior to that we put the same amount into a joint account (rather than taking the same amount out).

We have 2 accounts. A joint current and a joint savings.

I totally understand why people choose to separate their money but for DH and I it's made sense from us having our first child and me going on maternity for us to completely share the money. It also means we don't have to do transfers every month to and from personal accounts.

It does mean that when we both buy something for ourselves we usually have a conversation first or say we're buying ourselves this and that, but we are both very frugal (stingy) people anyway so this doesn't happen very much 😂
What helps me is I earn less than DH, I think if I earned for I might feel slightly different?

Our set up is in line with what you already have, although we also budget for around £500 'surplus' into our joint account to cover miscellaneous days out or bits for the house. If we need to pay more, we split that 50:50.

The expenses are split proportionately, so as I earn more I pay more in to the joint account. Whatever is leftover is 'ours' but we pool it together as and when needed for various bits.

My DH and I are in the camp that we like to have our own separate money and not be fully pooled. It means we have the freedom to spend on what we want from our own pots without checking in with each other. He is also not bothered by the proportionate split- realistically I only end up with about £100 more than him per month despite paying in £400 more than him a month towards our joint expenses. If he wanted to earn more he definitely could, but is content in his current job so there we go.

We pool it. We have a basic rule if it costs more than £x discuss first.

Women tend to have higher necessary personal expenses (more expensive to get a hair cut, need to buy toiletries etc) than men, so do you factor that in? This is not true - people all spend different amounts - but if it is necessary it is necessary.

If Mrs A needs no prescription meds and Mr A needs prescription meds, the combined total for meds is just a joint expense from the account for Mr & Mrs A'. It is either pooled or not.

We have a joint account, from which we pay all joint / family expenses, including eg. money for date nights, days out, everything for DD, as well as they mortgage, bills etc. We pay into that in proportion to our incomes - so I earn 10% more than him, I pay 10% more. We also haveb joint savings accounts for holidays/rainy day fund/house expenses and pay into those on the same basis. What is left in our own accounts is for us to do with as we wish.

Essentially all income is family money. We discuss big purchases but otherwise don’t keep tabs on one another’s spending.

All bills come out of DH account, I have a standing order where my half of the mortgage / bills is paid every month. We have a joint account that we both out a couple hundred pounds in each month and this account is used for things like food shopping, take aways, meals out etc. if we use all the money we put more in

Same here.
Both salaries go into joint account and all spending comes out. We usually mention larger purchases to each other or if there’s something one of us doesn’t recognise we might ask what it was but just in an asking for info way rather than checking.

Joint accounts, all money paid in and then we have the same amount each paid into our own accounts for personal spending. All the things we need come out of joint account and then presents for each other or things we want come put of our own account. We have always done this.

Pool everything. We just have the joint account and then pots designated to different types of spending (days out etc) and we just spend what we want from those pots. It’s how we’ve always done it and it works well for us.

All money is paid into the joint account then bills come out of this. We each buy what we want/need but will discuss big purchases first. It helps that we have a similar attitude to money and trust each other.

We have a joint savings account and a joint account for all bills etc. We also have our own personal accounts which we keep roughly the same amount in each month . I have two adult offspring from a previous relationship and I enjoy having the the freedom to spend/gift them things when I want. Everything for our DC comes out of the joint account. Been together 25 years and this works well for us.

If Mrs A needs no prescription meds and Mr A needs prescription meds, the combined total for meds is just a joint expense from the account for Mr & Mrs A'. It is either pooled or not.

So that's true if you pool everything, but if you don't where would those prescription costs sit? Are they from Mr A's discretionary funds or from the joint account because they are necessary? What about commuting costs- if one partner goes to work on the train and the other WFH with the heating on, does the train fare come out of joint funds?
I'm starting to think that pooling everything might be easier.

wtfisgoingonhere- I know how you feel. I haven't had to bail my DH out but it does seem like my money goes on family things (kids braces, stuff for the house) and his goes on skiing trips for him, unless we constantly adjust things. It gets tiring and I feel like it should all be family money.

Thanks for the responses, it is enlightening to know what other people do. Pooling would certainly have been more equitable when I was younger and basically saved up to afford mat leave, which should really have been a joint cost.

We have a joint account for all bills, food shopping etc and each transfer money into that when we get paid.

We each pay into a joint savings account too.

Then our own accounts for general spending, it works for us.

We keep an agreed amount of spending money and pool the rest. What I've learnt from my Dad passing recently though is that it's much easier if the accounts are joint! It felt like a masterclass in marriage. All bank accounts were joint whether both were using them or not. They also had all savings and investments in both names. It means that it all goes to mum through survivorship so no hassle with probate, no delay and and not so much worry. I'd like that in my marriage if one of us passes.

We have separate accounts and 1 that we both put money in to cover the bills. Anything other than bills, such as holidays and new stuff for the house is costed out and we each pay 50%. We also have separate credit cards. I learned the hard way what happens when all finances are shared and I'm sure as heck not risking that again.

We’ve got separate accounts as fundamentally second marriage and he’s got kids and ex and had school fees and things. We are both high earners. Finally after 17 years we are going to get a joint account for bills….we’ve only recently bought a house together rather than me living in his. I still have a house I rent out.

our money is our own, purchases for the house sort of alternate or the person who wants it most buys it. Unnecessarily big telly him, greenhouse me…

bills are kind of shared out.

i spend more than he does on stuff for me….he’s not (apart from telly) very into things. He spends a lot on his grown up children still.

We have one joint account that all income goes into. I have a separate account for consultancy but transfer 50% of cash into the joint account (keep back the rest as part tax and part savings). All bills and spending come out of the joint account. Sometimes one of us spends more, sometimes the other. We used to squabble about it and overspend by the end of the month, but as our salaries have increased that’s reduced. Neither of us would spend more than approx £100 on ourselves without consulting the other, though.

I can see that one of you having children from another relationship makes it harder to make things joint.

anotherweekanothernamechange I think that's why me and DH have mostly separate finances and why I've always tried to be financially independent, having looked at my parents' mess. But I do wonder if we'd be better off if we did things differently, from being able to be cleverer about investments and treating all of our stuff as a single portfolio, and also if the idea of all of our money being "family money" might lead to better spending decisions. We are in the last third of our working life now so we need I think to make our money work harder.