Page 4 | Please tell me about your joint accounts

MyFlagMeansIceCream · 30/01/2023 21:56

We have one current account. Everything goes in on the last working day of the month, all the bills plus savings go out on the 1st, the rest we spend. As we have pretty similar salaries and attitudes to spending it works well. It also worked well when I had a much lower income due to young children, but DH never once questioned anything I spent.

The savings are mostly in my name but that's only because I'm the one organised enough to set up the accounts...

RosesAndHellebores · 30/01/2023 22:16

We have never had a joint account.

DH was skint when we met, he moved into my house when we were married although we spent little time apart before that. I had a pre-nup.

DH's career took off as expected. We moved and both had our names on the house (in proportion to my equity). I had a baby and gave up work.

DH picked up all the bills: mortgage, I surance, utilities, car, food, etc, etc. I bought what we needed and gave him a monthly bill.

I went back to work and dh started paying me an allowance each month towards food. DC were at school. DH paid the school fees, an inheritance from my father paid the mortgage.

Our earnings are similar now we are in our 60s. DH stepped sideways: I stepped up.

DH pays utilities, council tax, insurance. I pay for the food. He pays the gardener, we go halves on the cleaning. We pay for our own cars.

I didn't always know what dh earned; he didn't always know what I earned. No need to ask. We know where each others' papers are in an emergency. We know what each others' pensions are and what would happen if one of us dies. We have arrangements in place for the dc to benefit and manage IHT.

We have never really consulted re purchases. I once had plantation shutters fitted across the front of the house (when they were cool); he bought a wanky car 9/10 years ago. Eyebrows were raised but neither an issue.

trilbydoll · 30/01/2023 22:21

We only have one account. I spend far more on just me (hair, beautician, clothes, dentist!) But there is enough money for us both to buy what we want, and we have similar views on what is an appropriate amount to spend on various items, so it is never an issue.

FormerlySpeckledyHen · 01/02/2023 20:26

One account for all income and expenditure. We are both sensible with money and buy what we want or need without out any issues. Nice and simple.

ThePoshUns · 01/02/2023 20:33

Aria2015 · 30/01/2023 08:16

We just pool everything together in one account. We have a rule where if we want to spend over £100 on a personal purchase we run it past the other, but that's the only rule. We have a similar outlook on money and spending so it works for us. I do have friends who have different spending habits and attitudes to their partner and ourway probably wouldn't work for them.

We are exactly the same.

MollyRover · 02/02/2023 06:43

Quisquam · 30/01/2023 18:53

what if we fell foul of a scam that meant our account was emptied?

DH is self employed. He’d just take some more from the office account!

Not really a solution for most people, and not really what a business account is for.

Ragwort · 02/02/2023 06:49

We pool everything - but as others have commented we have very similar spending habits. In over 35 years of marriage money is the one thing we have never argued over . We don't tend to buy "lavish" gifts so the issue of "surprise" presents has never arisen.

Montii · 02/02/2023 06:57

LucyWhipple · 30/01/2023 08:03

We pool everything then each get an equal amount of spending money paid back into our individual accounts, to be spent in any way we like.

We’ve used this method ever since we moved in together and it works really well for us. In reality now we have much higher incomes the spending money is less important as there is money for whatever we want (within reason). But it has seen us through each of us earning more & less at different times, kept things equal when I was part time with young dc etc.

We are pretty much exactly the same as this.

Pool everything together and then each get a certain amount of ‘fun money’ per week.

Been married 7 years, together 15 years, have two small children and die with our third in a few weeks.

He earns roughly double what I do.

MariahsBaubles · 02/02/2023 07:10

We pool it all and use the joint account for everything. We don't monitor each other's spending. We just trust each other to be sensible.
We started doing this very young when one of us had nothing coming in and the other was full time employment.
Our relative financial positions have fluctuated over the years. We have a mortgage and 2 DC. By 100% pooling we have seen each other through ups and downs.
One of us earns more. But the other helped them get there.
One of us does more childcare.
One of us does more shopping.
None of it ever matters.

CornishGem1975 · 02/02/2023 07:18

We don't have a joint account. DH moved into my house (we've both been previously married) and he pays into my account each month, roughy 50% of our household costs minus food which we tend to just split/manage from our own accounts. Cars and associated costs come out of our own money. Anything left is our own to do as please, I'd never tell him how to spend his money and he'd never tell me either.

CornishGem1975 · 02/02/2023 07:18

Also to add - we both have children from our first marriages so it feels the best way to manage things fairly.

bellinisurge · 02/02/2023 07:19

We have a joint account for bills/mortgage. We agreed a proportion of our respective salaries to go monthly into the pot.
Simple really.

FreeButtonBee · 02/02/2023 07:21

We have joint bills account where both salaries are paid in

mortgage, schools fees, childcare, bills and savings all paid out of this account on 1st of month.

a lump sum is then paid into a joint spending account which covers food, small irregular family bills, days out, kids stuff, family toiletries etc

then we both get them same amount of pocket money to our own current accounts.

we have various saving pots for (a) big irregular bills (like house insurance and car service) (b) house expenses/maintenance (c) kids expenses as well as long term savings. Money is moved in and out of these accounts as needed.

we have personal credit cards which will sometimes be used to manage cash flow or pay for more expensive items like holidays which are paid off from savings.

it’s worked well since we got married and has seen us through 2 sets of mat leave plus three sets of significant building work.

every year post tax self assessment payment date and around bonus season we do a health check and update things.

Pootle40 · 02/02/2023 07:28

NameOchangeO1 · 30/01/2023 07:34

My DH and I have been married a long time and have mostly separate finances, with a shared joint account covering mortgage, (most) utilities, childcare, school fees. For various reasons I think it would be better (including that we would potentially be better off) if we pooled our money more.

So I've proposed to DH that we pool the majority of our money each month- eg 90% and that we should agree what costs will be met out of that pool. But I'm wondering how about other people deal with joint accounts where both of you earn a decent amount. Do you pool the lot? If not, how do you decide what you keep separate, and what things do you spend your "own" money on? Women tend to have higher necessary personal expenses (more expensive to get a hair cut, need to buy toiletries etc) than men, so do you factor that in?

Thanks

We do this. We both earn c 70k and we only keep £200 each in our own bank accounts. Works for us.

Blueisthecolor · 02/02/2023 07:45

Yip all our money goes in the joint account and it always has even years before we were married. Once we bought a house together we got a joint account and put all our money together. We pay all bills from it and have various savings accounts that some money gets transferred to.

We still have our own current accounts too but we don't actually take any money from our wages for it. We both left £2k in there when we moved in together and between birthday/Christmas money and selling stuff off on eBay or the likes that's how we fund that account. I only really use my own account to buy him presents or to by myself clothes. Everything else I pretty much use joint account. It's never been an issue at all.

MyHouseToday · 02/02/2023 07:50

I think we kind of do the same as you but all family (like kids braces you mention), bills, insurance, groceries, furniture, home improvements, payments supporting DD at university, holidays and linked CC payments come out of there. We both have debit cards linked to it and for example I use it to pay for parking and food on a family day out etc.
We also both have separate accounts, where our salaries are paid, and personal savings. I now earn less than him as I switched to P/T. So we put roughly proportional amounts into the joint account, and have the rest for personal savings and expenses (like my hairdresser, dentist, clothes).

So I think in your case you need to clarify the purpose of the joint account and make all family, kids and household purchases from there.

We have a joint income around 50K

BiddyPop · 02/02/2023 07:53

I can't help as we only have a joint account that allowed us to get mortgage cheques lodged for partial drawdown during a building project, which we kept so my mothers gifts of cheques in my married name (which I never took) could be cashed. And it's now dormant with the last few cheques sitting in it (need to take the money out and close the account really).

Dh paid the mortgage and everything for his car. I paid the utilities and groceries and Dd childcare and my car. (Sums worked out about equally).

And we each have our own accounts to do that, but have each other's details saved to be able to transfer lonely at short notice if the other needs some.

Quisquam · 02/02/2023 07:59

Not really a solution for most people, and not really what a business account is for.

It is what an office account is for. He and his partner own the business. They never draw all the profits out.

It’s only like someone on Paye, earning say £4,000 net a month, but they choose to take £2,500 a month and ask their employer to keep the remaining £1,500 for them for a rainy day. Ten years later, they need £5,000 for the deposit on a car and ask their employer for it out of their £180,000 back pay saved up.

Catnary · 02/02/2023 08:02

We put a fixed lump sum each into a joint account every month. That is used for mortgage, bills, food, school fees. if we have a big expense like furniture or a holiday then one often pays on credit card to get the protection but we each transfer half of that to the joint account.

We each have investments in our own names but they are managed as a single portfolio by one single financial adviser. I technically have a property in my sole name and pay the tax on the rental income for that from my own account.

My own clothes, hair, toiletries, hobby stuff, books, commute come out of my own money, but sometimes I pay for food shops etc on my own card if that is the closest one at hand.

EllieQ · 02/02/2023 08:03

NameOchangeO1 · 30/01/2023 08:35

If Mrs A needs no prescription meds and Mr A needs prescription meds, the combined total for meds is just a joint expense from the account for Mr & Mrs A'. It is either pooled or not.

So that's true if you pool everything, but if you don't where would those prescription costs sit? Are they from Mr A's discretionary funds or from the joint account because they are necessary? What about commuting costs- if one partner goes to work on the train and the other WFH with the heating on, does the train fare come out of joint funds?
I'm starting to think that pooling everything might be easier.

wtfisgoingonhere- I know how you feel. I haven't had to bail my DH out but it does seem like my money goes on family things (kids braces, stuff for the house) and his goes on skiing trips for him, unless we constantly adjust things. It gets tiring and I feel like it should all be family money.

Thanks for the responses, it is enlightening to know what other people do. Pooling would certainly have been more equitable when I was younger and basically saved up to afford mat leave, which should really have been a joint cost.

We have a joint account for all household/ child/ pet related costs, then our own money for personal costs (mobile phones, clothes, haircuts etc). One thing I have always been strict about is that child-related costs (clothes, shoes, days out) come from the joint account. I’ve seen several posts on MN where in theory both parents have equal spending money after bills, but the woman’s money is spent on the children as she’s usually the one responsible for buying clothes etc, and she has very little left for herself.

Our pay goes into our own accounts and we each put money into the joint account to cover monthly costs (mortgage, bills, food etc ) plus extra for less regular costs. This split is based on how much we earn - currently 60:40 as I’m part time. Then the rest of our money is ours to spend as we want.

User76765 · 02/02/2023 08:10

Everything is family money. We are married. It’s both the legal position and the position in our family.

caringcarer · 02/02/2023 08:11

My dh and I have been happily married for 17 years and have separate finances. We earn about the same. We both put in £1200 into joint account each month. Mortgage, food shopping, council tax, gas and electricity, water rates, house insurance and anything for child is all paid for from joint account. From personal accounts we pay for our own phones, car tax, insurance for car, MOT, gifts for each other, gifts for our family's and personal spends. I might spend on hair cut, lunch put with sisters or friends, clothes. DH tends to spend his money on tools, phone, gifts for me, gifts for his family, pub with friends, cinema with step son. We pay half each on holidays. He pays more often when we go out for a meal. I offer to go halves but he likes to treat me. We never argue over money. We are lucky not to be struggling.

PandasAreUseless · 02/02/2023 08:27

We've been together 18 years and, until recently, we've put a proportion of our earnings into a joint account (say, 30%). This accounted for the fact that I earn more.
Due to my husband recently losing his job and having to retrain, I've been putting my whole salary into the joint account. Now he's started earning, he's doing the same.
When I say 'whole', I guess we each keep £150ish a month or something for clothes, an occassional haircut, toiletries etc. We've not had a conversation about what amount this is and I'm not too fussed to know.
But we've started paying for commuting costs, petrol, coffees at work etc - things that we wouldn't have before - out of our joint account.
I love it as, being the higher earner, I used to pay for the big stuff - furniture, holidays etc - as I didn't want to inflict this sort of spending on my husband. Now that I pay for these things out of our joint account, we both contribute.

MollyRover · 02/02/2023 09:00

Quisquam · 02/02/2023 07:59

Not really a solution for most people, and not really what a business account is for.

It is what an office account is for. He and his partner own the business. They never draw all the profits out.

It’s only like someone on Paye, earning say £4,000 net a month, but they choose to take £2,500 a month and ask their employer to keep the remaining £1,500 for them for a rainy day. Ten years later, they need £5,000 for the deposit on a car and ask their employer for it out of their £180,000 back pay saved up.

Again not a solution for most people, and you're hardly pooling all of your resources if most of his are sitting in his business account. I'd imagine that it's not readily accessible to you?

Quisquam · 02/02/2023 12:24

Again not a solution for most people, and you're hardly pooling all of your resources if most of his are sitting in his business account. I'd imagine that it's not readily accessible to you?

That is how any sensible self employed person runs their business - always leave profits in it, as working capital! There are many self employed people and owner directors of small - medium companies in this country.

His business account is not accessible to me, but all our savings are in my name.