Please tell me about your joint accounts

[NameOchangeO1]

My DH and I have been married a long time and have mostly separate finances, with a shared joint account covering mortgage, (most) utilities, childcare, school fees. For various reasons I think it would be better (including that we would potentially be better off) if we pooled our money more.

So I've proposed to DH that we pool the majority of our money each month- eg 90% and that we should agree what costs will be met out of that pool. But I'm wondering how about other people deal with joint accounts where both of you earn a decent amount. Do you pool the lot? If not, how do you decide what you keep separate, and what things do you spend your "own" money on? Women tend to have higher necessary personal expenses (more expensive to get a hair cut, need to buy toiletries etc) than men, so do you factor that in?

Thanks

For us the monthly and household costs are a relatively small fraction of our salaries. We each put enough into the joint account for all bills, mortgage, car insurance, holidays, wedding presents etc and keep the rest as our own money.

We pool everything. No money belongs to anyone. Obviously we discuss and agree larger purchases if they're not joint. We've done this when we had no spare income and when we were very wealthy. It's always either for us.

Worked for us....not either

We have joint current and savings. We both have pensions.

We're too poor for investments let alone a portfolio, but everything is pooled. We haven't got a set rule about spending but would discuss big things. Neither of us are big spenders though.

We also earn pretty similarly now but haven't done in the past. Pooled makes even more sense with a salary disparity though.

We have separate accounts our income (pensions which are pretty equal) are paid into. We have separate responsibilities for bills (energy, council tax, insurance etc) and do a calculation each month based on income and outgoings. I pay more out so DH usually owes me some which he transfers to me. We also have a joint savings account for big ticket items (holidays, home improvements) and personal savings accounts to use as we wish. It sounds complicated but it's our 30th anniversary later this year and we have always done it this way so it works for us!

Same. I have a separate account for work (self employed tradesman) but anything over a certain amount I put it in the family pot. My wife spends more on frivolities than I do but I spent next to nothing so it’s not an issue, it all evens out in the end.

*spend next to nothing

For us, (married 30 odd years), all income has always gone into one joint account. We don't police each other's personal spending (why would we?). We obviously discuss and agree any large financial decisions (changing car etc).

We do something similar to you existing set up but the things you mention you are paying for such as braces and things for the house would come out of the joint account. We pay in the total of mortgage, school fees, bills, childcare plus a bit each month. The amounts paid in are in proportion to our incomes. Everything else is separate.

Your set up sounds really unfair. You are picking up a lot of what should be joint expenses.

We have separate current accounts and each pay a set amount monthly into the joint account. I earn much more than DH so pay more into the joint account. From the joint account we pay the bills and day to day expenses. If a big expenditure is needed we transfer more money in as needed. We also have some joint savings.

I would not be comfortable with pooling it all. I always wanted the security of financial independence, plus we married late in life so were used to managing our own finances. The biggest factor for me is that although I’m very careful with money, DH is even more so, to the extent that if the spending was up to him we would have a quality of life I couldn’t live with. He’s keen on getting everything from charity shops and the cheapest holidays possible on caravan sites. I’m ok with that some of the time but can afford better. So I want to have separate control over the money I earn. He has grumbled about very modest things I’ve paid for (e.g. sports activities and kit for the kids, fairly cheap holidays abroad). If I kept none of my earnings as mine, to spend as I want, he’d veto things like this.
I might feel differently if we had the same attitude to money, but as it is, I don’t want him telling me what I can and can’t spend my hard earned money on.

All regular income goes into a joint account. Savings - some are joint and some are in sole names but that doesn't mean they're not used for joint purchases - it's more for tax reasons and because some accounts are only available to individuals.
We've been married 34 years and we've always done it that way. We don't have 'pocket' money. If we want something, we buy it. But neither of us are frivolous or have expensive hobbies. If either of us is making a larger purchase it would always be discussed first. I mainly manage the finances - but DH is always in the loop.

We pool everything and just spend what we want- not set "spending money" each. We'd discuss very large purchases but generally just rely on common sense.

Our salary gets paid into the joint account and all expenses come out from the joint account. I put a standing order to pay spending money for DH and me into our own account.

In terms of what we spent from our own account. I don't think men spend less. DH buys less clothes but he buys quite technical clothing which aren't cheap. He spend them on toys and gadgets for himself. There's also phones, ipads, going out etc.

The spending money is the same for both of us. We earn similar but most of the time I'm a bit higher.

Everything goes in to one account.
Everything comes out of one account.
We have individual savings. There is also a DD set up for a personal pension for me, as I've taken the hit on earnings in the past 10 years, and he hasn't (like, my salary has halved).
But, neither of us are big spenders. Over 90% of transactions are supermarket and petrol.

Our system sounds complex but it’s not. We sit down intermittently (every 3-6 months) to figure out savings and investment goals (isa, holidays etc) and write down what we would each need to contribute to meet them. I earn more, so I think the savings split is 70/30. Then we put together our “non negotiable” expenses on a spreadsheet, like mortgage, food, phone bills, pet insurance, and add them up. These are then split 50/50 (very important for dp)

the “non negotiable” amount and the “savings” amount are then added together and each of us is given an amount that we need to deposit into the joint account on the first day of the month. Then, the saving amounts we’ve agreed on are automatically deducted into savings pots and direct debits take care of the bills.

because of this, we both have money left over in our own accounts for spending money! All the bills and savings is taken care of, which makes this money totally guilt free.

Every single penny goes in the 1 pot. I earn 5-6 x my partners income and have done for 25 years.

I dont ever ask when i need to buy something. She doesnt ask when she needs to buy something. We only ever discuss when we need to pay for something big and make sure we have enough to cover it.

Happy, no money worries, savings in the bank and as far as i am concerned not a single penny of the money is mine. It belongs to the family we decided to be part of many many years ago

All income into joint account, all bills and joint credit card and joint savings out. We've just started individual spends where we have equal money sent to our own accounts to spend as we see fit. I have more monthly spends on hair and beauty treatments whereas he will splurge every few months on tech so it evens out.

We put the same amount into a joint account (similar take home, no kids), out of this we pay mortgage, bills, car loan, car stuff generally, insurances, food shop and meals out together. Whatever is left on our own accounts is ours to spend as we like! DH likes to spend more on clothes whereas i will go out more

Mostly separate finances, one joint account for day to day expenses. Totally amicable and never any bother about who pays for what. I am substantially better off and although we are very happy it gives me security.

As my lovely, feminist, but slightly unrealistic aunt used to say "Always put your first million away for yourself."

Possibly the best financial advice I've ever had though.

We’ve always had the same set up - joint account and a personal account each. The amount we used to transfer into the joint account has had to increase as our mortgage payment has doubled. It’s still just under 50% of our wage each month though. I have a car payment that comes out my personal account as well as car insurance etc so it doesn’t leave me with all that much. My husband has a van bought outright from when we sold our last car so I’m not entirely sure now why I’m paying the car payment just because it’s ‘mine’ 🙈 He is self employed and was paying in weekly to the joint account. I paid in at each pay day but I looked back through the months and it had worked out on average I was paying in more! I also find kids clothes, days out if husband isn’t there, toddler classes etc all end up coming out of my own account as I don’t like to use the joint account for that sort of stuff in case we end up with not enough left for the big bills. It’s sometimes just small things and £20 here and there but it adds up to a lot!

We pool everything and spend everything from our joint account. Neither of us spend a lot. I get my hair cut twice a year maybe, buy new clothes when I need them and sometimes when I want something nice. We don't resent the other having anything and have never added up each others expenses. Makes life so much easier.