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Original poster

Mortgage after divorce

55 replies

NorthAngel · 24/12/2022 07:42

Cheeky question but, for those of you who had to sell the family home as part of a divorce, what mortgage did you get to buy somewhere else and what are the monthly payments/for how long?

I’m 50 so time isn’t on my side. The family home has been mortgage free for a few years now so it’s painful having to think about another mortgage. I’m not sure which way to go…whether to get something 2 bed smaller but nice, in a nice area, that will hold and increase in value (but take out a mortgage) but buy somewhere smaller mortgage free.

I am still only being offered £150k (50% of the family home) even though I have the dependent child living with me 100% (although she is coming up 15 and planning on going to university at 18).

Salary is £44k but I’m due an incremental rise in 2 years to £48k. Then, that’d be it as I’m at the top of my pay band (NHS). I am thinking of applying for the next band though.

Bills and school costs are about £1000 a month but that includes a £233 car loan (which will end in 2 years) and a £144 bank loan (again, 2 years left on it). Disposable income is around £1500 which food/car fuel/pocket money comes out of. I really don’t want to end up with no, or very little, disposable income left each month. I wanted to spend these years travelling and enjoying life a bit more!! Plus, I would worry myself sick if I started to struggle. My older brother has recently taken his own life due to lack of money 😢. Not that I’d get in that state but I want to sleep at night.

I’m in the north east.

Not sure what to do. I also have a lump sum coming when I retire (67) so not sure if that can be factored in somehow.

Any advice would be appreciated!

OP posts:
Original poster
NorthAngel · 24/12/2022 07:44

Stbx has another property he inherited after our separation which complicates things but his solicitor is still insisting on a 50% split. This has dragged on for 2 years and I want to bring it to a close!

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 24/12/2022 07:44

Think about where you want to live for the rest of your life, and growing old in that house.

Original poster
NorthAngel · 24/12/2022 07:46

I won’t get anything from the inherited property.

OP posts:
Rummikub · 24/12/2022 07:52

When I was getting divorced my ex inherited a property. His solicitor said although it wasn’t a marital asset I could pursue for a share.

How are your other assets being split, pension? Will there be child maintenance paid? Some mortgage providers will include that for mortgage calculations (Nationwide).

I think I’d take out a small mortgage to live in a nice area.

Whycanineverever · 24/12/2022 08:00

I took out 22y mortgage at 47. However I would hope to pay off a little earlier with pension lump sum / downsize.

DenholmElliot11 · 24/12/2022 08:05

Have you checked that someone will give you a mortgage? Because that might answer your question for you.

If they will and you've got a secure job then like a PP said I'd get a small mortgage to live in a nice area.

Suzi888 · 24/12/2022 08:13

Do you still want to go travelling? Have a nice income, nice lifestyle…
I think I would opt for mortgage free to be honest.
Depends if the lump sum would be enough to allow me to follow my dreams/travel/ and I was happy to take on a mortgage and possibly a part time job on retirement to boost my income.

All depends what you value more, home or lifestyle.

MIL DP is 73, he still works full time because he gets bored at home and it boosts his disposable income (part time would cover this). But we also know he HAS to work as his rent is extortionate and when he stops working he will be forced to move to a more affordable area- which is away from friends and hobbies. He’s recovered from cancer, took a long break for this. I personally wouldn’t want to be in the position of having to work at that age. If you do ensure you take out adequate insurances.

Overthebow · 24/12/2022 08:22

How much are the types of houses you’re thinking of? At your age and salary I’d probably look to get a mortgage no bigger than 50k, which on a 20 year mortgage would be around £330 at current rates.

fannieadams · 24/12/2022 08:26

I took out a £150k mortgage over 19 years after my divorce. It's a small 2 bed in a nice area close to school. Your teen is a similar age to mine so get the biggest room size possible as they always have friends over.

I hope to pay it off in 13 years with overpaying. House was £300k value in 2018 so lots of equity.

I love not having to worry about expenses. I recently had a £3k bill and I didn’t need a loan. Only negative is I wished I had gone for a 3 bed as I WFH but my teen will go to uni in a few years.

fannieadams · 24/12/2022 08:33

I got the mortgage at 48. The mortgage is 24% of my taxed income. I stressed test the mortgage to 8% too just in case things go south.

KangarooKenny · 24/12/2022 08:53

I was told that, even though you won’t profit from his inheritance, it will go towards him housing himself so you could expect more from the settlement as you will be housed as equally as possible.

Original poster
NorthAngel · 24/12/2022 12:39

Rummikub · 24/12/2022 07:52

When I was getting divorced my ex inherited a property. His solicitor said although it wasn’t a marital asset I could pursue for a share.

How are your other assets being split, pension? Will there be child maintenance paid? Some mortgage providers will include that for mortgage calculations (Nationwide).

I think I’d take out a small mortgage to live in a nice area.

No pension split either. I earn more but worked part time for 12 years raising the children.
To get a nice house (and I mean decent and not like a mansion or anything) I am looking at probably £50k-100k mortgage so I am worried the monthly payments will be too high as I’d really like
it paid off before I retire at 67. I really don’t want to continue working FT in the NHS after 60 and have even thought of dropping a band or two later to avoid the stress.
I don’t get any child maintenance.

OP posts:
Original poster
NorthAngel · 24/12/2022 12:40

DenholmElliot11 · 24/12/2022 08:05

Have you checked that someone will give you a mortgage? Because that might answer your question for you.

If they will and you've got a secure job then like a PP said I'd get a small mortgage to live in a nice area.

No, I haven’t checked tbh.

OP posts:
Original poster
NorthAngel · 24/12/2022 12:51

Suzi888 · 24/12/2022 08:13

Do you still want to go travelling? Have a nice income, nice lifestyle…
I think I would opt for mortgage free to be honest.
Depends if the lump sum would be enough to allow me to follow my dreams/travel/ and I was happy to take on a mortgage and possibly a part time job on retirement to boost my income.

All depends what you value more, home or lifestyle.

MIL DP is 73, he still works full time because he gets bored at home and it boosts his disposable income (part time would cover this). But we also know he HAS to work as his rent is extortionate and when he stops working he will be forced to move to a more affordable area- which is away from friends and hobbies. He’s recovered from cancer, took a long break for this. I personally wouldn’t want to be in the position of having to work at that age. If you do ensure you take out adequate insurances.

I definitely don’t want to be working after 67. Yes, I want to maintain my lifestyle and would probably pay no more than £300-£400 a month for another mortgage. Unless, of course, I jump up a band in the NHS. I am doing another Masters degree and gaining valuable experience so this is possible. Also, as already mentioned, my car and bank loan will end in 2 years. That would free up £370 a month.

OP posts:
Original poster
NorthAngel · 24/12/2022 12:52

Overthebow · 24/12/2022 08:22

How much are the types of houses you’re thinking of? At your age and salary I’d probably look to get a mortgage no bigger than 50k, which on a 20 year mortgage would be around £330 at current rates.

£200k-£290. I’d love one at £289k but it’s just too much and I’d be depriving myself of things in life to achieve that.

OP posts:
Rummikub · 24/12/2022 12:52

NorthAngel · 24/12/2022 12:39

No pension split either. I earn more but worked part time for 12 years raising the children.
To get a nice house (and I mean decent and not like a mansion or anything) I am looking at probably £50k-100k mortgage so I am worried the monthly payments will be too high as I’d really like
it paid off before I retire at 67. I really don’t want to continue working FT in the NHS after 60 and have even thought of dropping a band or two later to avoid the stress.
I don’t get any child maintenance.

Show quote history

Has your solicitor said to go for more equity on the house? Especially as you went PT I presume to do majority pf childcare. And you now have your dd 100pc.

I took out out a mortgage of just under £60k to buy ex out on an income of under £20k it was hard the first few years but now much more manageable and less scary half way through.

in your position id still consider the mortgage but nearer the £50k end if possible.

Original poster
NorthAngel · 24/12/2022 12:54

KangarooKenny · 24/12/2022 08:53

I was told that, even though you won’t profit from his inheritance, it will go towards him housing himself so you could expect more from the settlement as you will be housed as equally as possible.

Hmmm. Not sure. His solicitor is pretty firm on offering 50% and my solicitor is trying to stop it going to court due to costs. Stbx is settled in his new home. Im
still living in limbo knowing that I have to sell the family home (it is too big tbh) and get a mortgage. He will be mortgage free but he is older than me and will
retire much sooner.

OP posts:
Original poster
NorthAngel · 24/12/2022 12:57

fannieadams · 24/12/2022 08:26

I took out a £150k mortgage over 19 years after my divorce. It's a small 2 bed in a nice area close to school. Your teen is a similar age to mine so get the biggest room size possible as they always have friends over.

I hope to pay it off in 13 years with overpaying. House was £300k value in 2018 so lots of equity.

I love not having to worry about expenses. I recently had a £3k bill and I didn’t need a loan. Only negative is I wished I had gone for a 3 bed as I WFH but my teen will go to uni in a few years.

Which area of the country are you in?

OP posts:
Milkand2sugarsplease · 24/12/2022 13:02

If your daughter lives with you, you are entitled to child maintenance from him so get applying for that.

Your solicitor doesn't really sound like they're acting in your best interests to be honest. The threat of court might actually make him start being more willing to split fairly. His solicitor is just riding on the fact that yours is coasting.

LittleMissPeggySue · 24/12/2022 13:02

It can definitely be done. I've gone through a divorce and sold the marital home earlier this year. I got a 24 year mortgage at 45, earning less than you currently are. Best thing I did was to get a good mortgage broker who was able to talk me through all of the deals and listen to what I wanted. With the equity from the old house and the mortgage, I've moved a few miles down the road to a cheaper (but IMO nicer) area into a 3 bed house that would've cost around at least £30k more had I stayed where I was. It's daunting but I love that it's my house, no one can make me sell it if a relationship goes wrong and I'm providing DS with some form of inheritance in the future. Good luck xxx

Original poster
NorthAngel · 24/12/2022 13:06

@Rummikub I went with a group of solicitors and it has probably been a big mistake. It is 2 years since I filed for divorce following a long, sexless marriage - nothing more than platonic friendship. I was told it would be quick but we drafted in a financial solicitor which has dragged it out as we are getting no further forward. 4 solicitors that were handling my case have left and the one I have know is useless. I
am so tired (and fed up of forking out £250 an hour for them) that I want to finalise the whole thing and not get another solicitor. It is affecting me and my daughter now so I want it sorted.

OP posts:
Original poster
NorthAngel · 24/12/2022 13:08

Milkand2sugarsplease · 24/12/2022 13:02

If your daughter lives with you, you are entitled to child maintenance from him so get applying for that.

Your solicitor doesn't really sound like they're acting in your best interests to be honest. The threat of court might actually make him start being more willing to split fairly. His solicitor is just riding on the fact that yours is coasting.

Yes, as I’ve explained in my last post, my solicitor group are coasting. They don’t seem to be able to retain staff which is a big red flag to me and they’re definitely not acting in my best interests.

OP posts:
Original poster
NorthAngel · 24/12/2022 13:10

@LittleMissPeggySue
is that a local mortgage broker or through a group? I could do with seeing someone.

OP posts:
Milkand2sugarsplease · 24/12/2022 13:12

@NorthAngel , sorry I must have missed that.

You can represent yourself in court and the judges are generally very helpful of people who are self representing. You can literally pick and choose which bits your solicitor does and which bits you do. You could have your sol represent you at one hearing but represent yourself at another.
That will keep costs down for you and push your ex to make a fairer offer because he'll have costa of court too.

LittleMissPeggySue · 24/12/2022 13:13

NorthAngel · 24/12/2022 13:10

@LittleMissPeggySue
is that a local mortgage broker or through a group? I could do with seeing someone.

I went with an independent mortgage broker who was really good. They also didn't charge if you took out a mortgage over a certain amount so I didn't even pay for it. If you're on fb or any other kind of local forum then I'd see if anyone has any recommendations. I'd recommend mine but they're local and Im in a different part of the country to you