Mortgage after divorce

[NorthAngel]

Cheeky question but, for those of you who had to sell the family home as part of a divorce, what mortgage did you get to buy somewhere else and what are the monthly payments/for how long?

I’m 50 so time isn’t on my side. The family home has been mortgage free for a few years now so it’s painful having to think about another mortgage. I’m not sure which way to go…whether to get something 2 bed smaller but nice, in a nice area, that will hold and increase in value (but take out a mortgage) but buy somewhere smaller mortgage free.

I am still only being offered £150k (50% of the family home) even though I have the dependent child living with me 100% (although she is coming up 15 and planning on going to university at 18).

Salary is £44k but I’m due an incremental rise in 2 years to £48k. Then, that’d be it as I’m at the top of my pay band (NHS). I am thinking of applying for the next band though.

Bills and school costs are about £1000 a month but that includes a £233 car loan (which will end in 2 years) and a £144 bank loan (again, 2 years left on it). Disposable income is around £1500 which food/car fuel/pocket money comes out of. I really don’t want to end up with no, or very little, disposable income left each month. I wanted to spend these years travelling and enjoying life a bit more!! Plus, I would worry myself sick if I started to struggle. My older brother has recently taken his own life due to lack of money 😢. Not that I’d get in that state but I want to sleep at night.

I’m in the north east.

Not sure what to do. I also have a lump sum coming when I retire (67) so not sure if that can be factored in somehow.

Any advice would be appreciated!

I get that you it want it sorted. Sounds awful. I’d be loathe to pay them more and look for another one.

If your stbx is earning start a child maintenance as soon as possible.

Ok, thanks.
We were lucky with our mortgage as we had a really low interest rate throughout the entire term. It was with The Woolwich but set up through Barclays. We, sorry - I, overpaid for years and paid it off in 15 years.

I did a lot of on-call work for the NHS which I used the money from to overpay the mortgage. Of course, they don’t consider this when looking at who paid the most towards the house!

I tried L &C brokers - they were ok for initial search but not great at deviating from their script. I approached Nationwide and they were brilliant.

With everything you have said about you overpaying the mortgage, him inheriting a property and jot paying child maintenance I think you'd be mad to accept a 50/50 split! I'd be fighting for more!

Does your ex have a pension?

Yes, he has cashed some of it on though so it looks like mine is bigger

In not on

I’ve tried. Told my solicitor this numerous times and getting no joy

is pursuing child maintenance a possibility? It’ll add to your finances for your future mortgage.

I guess it sounds like you have come to terms with the offer on the table. And you have options to increase income, pension lump sum and your costs will go down when your dd at uni. The financial burden would be heaviest for the first 2/3 years so I’d still say a mortgage of around £50-60k is doable.

You may as well stop paying your solicitor though! Save a bit of money that way. Everything else sounds straightforward.

If I were you I would get financial advice independent of your solicitors.

You are not yet divorced and have no financial agreement. His pension (including lump sum he has received since you separated) and inheritance received since you separated may not be treated as marital assets to be split 50:50 when you do divorce but will likely affect whether splitting the marital home 50:50 is fair and equitable as this will lead to disparity in favour of the spouse without ongoing responsibility for care of offspring of the marriage.

Hi op, you need to get a new solicitor or do the financial form yourself. Lots of advice on here and online.

You'll still be married in 4 years plus a waste of money on these solicitors otherwise.

It's not that hard to divorce, I'd be going for 60% house plus pension to show the time you lost in childcare or 70% of house.

Getting pensions valued is onerous and long winded in many cases, so just going for a better share of the house is often easier.

Maintenance should be applied for in any case from cms.

You really need to go see solicitor, get any paperwork back and all notes to date and then deal with it yourself or find a new solicitor.

Also until divorced you can often recieve a share of the inheritance, get googling and read about similar circumstances.

Good luck.

I am based in the southeast, commuting distance to London. I think my house is now around £350k.

I would get a new lawyer. At the very least both sides should be declaring their assets and it sounds like he will walk away with more.

I would submit the form to take it to court and then start negotiating hard, OP. You are signing up for less than you might get. At the very least, let the judge decide if you have a fair deal in hand.

The eldest child lives with him most of the time but is over 18 and working (although he’s on a gap year before starting university next year). This is why I haven’t claimed child maintenance for the younger one. Also, because I am living in the family home mortgage/rent free (although I’m paying all the maintenance costs myself and bills).
I am becoming increasingly frustrated with the solicitor group and have emailed them about it. I think the group, as a whole, sits back and accepts the money but sends out pre-set letters (that they send out a lot to other clients) but charge a whacking fee for it. They haven’t fought my corner much imo. I have even received a letter from them that was meant for another client!! They apologised profusely. And, because of the number of solicitors allocated to my case, there have been errors.

I don’t want to fleece my stbx as I know he doesn’t earn as much as me (I worked hard whereas he didn’t - he wanted an easy life) and he is due to retire in 6 years. However, I don’t want to be put in a position whereby I end up needing a mortgage (at 50) and substantially reduced disposable income putting me at risk if a bill cropped up and a much worse lifestyle. I have worked hard over the years. Done lots of courses. Now doing a 2nd MSc. He did nothing but stay at the same level. Never made any effort to improve himself. Feel bitter that I brought more money in but will end up struggling whereas he gets to live mortgage free.

I have been allocated 4 (I believe it’s 4 now) solicitors as they keep
leaving which doesn’t sound good to me! I am worried that this will just drag on and on!! I was told, at the start, it would be complete within 6 months! Obviously, this is having an effect on me as I’m becoming increasingly worried about my increasing age (with regards mortgage payments) and the fact I am living in limbo. He isn’t. He is settled in his home. He knows what his outgoings are etc.

I do think I need a better solicitor but I can’t remember everything that has been said over the last 2 years. I am fed
up with it all and want to move on with my life and feel more settled. It is affecting me a lot now, hence why I just want the accept the offer and get out of this situation. But then, I end up in another situation…one with less income than I should’ve had!!

I am off work this next week. Not sure what to do with regards solicitors. It is costing ££££.

We have declared our assets btw.
His pension was worth more but his solicitor has obviously advised him
to draw £80k from it to
make it look less. He has done this! He could because he is 60 and was able
to with his private pension.
I earn more now (but worked for it) so my pension, even though I was part time for over a decade, will be worth about the same as what his would’ve been but now it looks like mine is more than his!
The inherited property has been ring fenced by his solicitor.
He still, after 2 years, is offering 50% of the family home and isn’t paying/contributing towards his youngest child.

His pension was worth >£300k

I was happy to leave pensions alone and the inherited property but wanted a bigger share (60% or so) of the family home.

The 80k he is obviously using to boost his salary until he retires. He used my salary to that before as we had a joint account. I paid a higher percentage of all bills as my salary was higher by about £1k per
month (I worked extra on-call on top of normal hours for years). This will never, ever have a joint account with anyone ever again! Lesson learned!

I will not this will.

If a bank went back, over our marriage, and worked out how much each of us had pain in to the joint account and what percentage of bills each paid it would probably be about 60:40 (me the 60) or even 70:30!! Of course, that doesn’t count!

*paid

You can go for mediation, it's a lot cheaper, or may still be free at the moment if you say you also want to discuss child arrangements (as the government then pays), then lay out all assets on both sides. That £80k must be somewhere so that goes on as well. Then discuss together. At least seeing it all laid out like that makes it easier to understand.

Put in a claim for cms today. He isn't doing you any favours so why are you helping him?

In your shoes now (as opposed to 2 years ago when you were in a better position) I would probably just accept 50% to walk away. But if you want to go for more, go for mediation, explain his inheritance means he can house himself, so then you can go to court and self represent - saying you tried your hardest to get an agreement first etc.

Good luck. And enjoy today, try not to get too caught up in it, have a day off!

I can’t really comment on the mortgage or the split of assets but I 100% don’t get why he isn’t paying child maintenance for your youngest child. I’d put a claim in today. I’d maybe understand if he was offering a higher % of the equity but he isn’t.
Even 3 years £100 a month is £3600 extra that you could overpay on your mortgage

See what the child maintenance calculator comes out as including the 18 year old staying at his. I dont think the 18 yr old counts for calculation purposes as no longer in non advanced education.

i keep reading that the housing market is due to drop so it might be worth delaying moving out the family home.