Mortgage after divorce

[NorthAngel]

Cheeky question but, for those of you who had to sell the family home as part of a divorce, what mortgage did you get to buy somewhere else and what are the monthly payments/for how long?

I’m 50 so time isn’t on my side. The family home has been mortgage free for a few years now so it’s painful having to think about another mortgage. I’m not sure which way to go…whether to get something 2 bed smaller but nice, in a nice area, that will hold and increase in value (but take out a mortgage) but buy somewhere smaller mortgage free.

I am still only being offered £150k (50% of the family home) even though I have the dependent child living with me 100% (although she is coming up 15 and planning on going to university at 18).

Salary is £44k but I’m due an incremental rise in 2 years to £48k. Then, that’d be it as I’m at the top of my pay band (NHS). I am thinking of applying for the next band though.

Bills and school costs are about £1000 a month but that includes a £233 car loan (which will end in 2 years) and a £144 bank loan (again, 2 years left on it). Disposable income is around £1500 which food/car fuel/pocket money comes out of. I really don’t want to end up with no, or very little, disposable income left each month. I wanted to spend these years travelling and enjoying life a bit more!! Plus, I would worry myself sick if I started to struggle. My older brother has recently taken his own life due to lack of money 😢. Not that I’d get in that state but I want to sleep at night.

I’m in the north east.

Not sure what to do. I also have a lump sum coming when I retire (67) so not sure if that can be factored in somehow.

Any advice would be appreciated!

You need to put to the back of your mind who paid for what over the years, it’s really irrelevant and is clearly causing you stress.
Your eldest child is only just 18, do you not want them to live in as nice a house as your youngest? The first thing to do is claim CM, which you are entitled to. However, as he has the eldest, who’s not presumably working, I can understand why you’ve not claimed. The inherited house isn’t yours to claim against. And if the marital home were to be split 50/50 you would still be in a position to buy another house with a small mortgage that you can afford. Courts would only order for it to be included if that were not the case.
I would perhaps ask your ex if he were prepared to pay off the car loan and other loan as part of the settlement in lieu of claiming CM as that would put you in a better position to obtain a mortgage.

OP, I think you're having a lot of unnecessary angst about having a mortgage.

I'm 50 & also on band 7 NHS so have the same income.

I separated 18m ago & took out a 100K mortgage (albeit at a time when interest rates were lower) & my monthly payments are £450ish a month.

I downsized from a 4-bed house to 3-bed flat & have a good quality of life. I extended the term to keep monthly payments lower & overpay.

I used the money from the house sale to pay off my car loan so my monthly outgoings are less.

And I have absolutely no qualms about claiming maintenance from my ex.

Have you thought about getting a barristers opinion as to how your settlement would likely go in court & using that as a basis for discussions, rather than paying for lots of lawyers letters?

I’m in a similar position to you, also in the north east (sorry I’m one of those unhelpful people who doesn’t contribute anything useful, just says oooh that happened to me!)
I’m mid forties.

i know exactly what you mean about just wanting the whole thing over with - the process feels unfair but is what it is. I had mat leave, some part time for looking after kids, lower salary and pension as a result, contributed half to everything - but despite that managed to invest quite a bit over the years (rather than spunking the extra on takeaways and personal trainers) so he tried to get half of that!

I cut my losses to get it done - not saying that’s the right thing to do, others have given really good advice. I did spend a year ruminating on how much worse off I was but feel okay now.

My solicitor was shit, I genuinely have mo idea what I paid her for. Really wish I’d done family law instead of working for the NHS

Your pension - are you also in the 1995 scheme? This info may be wrong but worth checking as you should be able to take a lump sum at 60 (I think) and continue working with that pension as well as your salary until you're 68 (I think). The McCloud ruling would mean once that’s through you have all your pension up to this year in the final salary scheme and your salary is a good one. If this applies to you, this would pay off a load off your mortgage. This may be wrong advice - its just what i think from looking at mine. Sorry if this a load of bollocks - if so I really need to think how Im paying my mortgage off!

Also in the NE and also took out a mortgage post-divorce at 50.

Agree with pp that looking back, on who paid what, needs to go. As does your barrier to having a mortgage again. Life changes, and you have to change with it.

try to look forward, not back. Where do you want to live? If in a slightly better area, which means incurring a small mortgage, go for it. Life is for living, and after a miserable marriage, you deserve the nicest life you can reasonable afford. With a stable job, decent income and good pension, you can easily manage a small mortgage.

if on the other hand you value primarily peace of mind financially, then it makes more sense to go mortgage free. You have to weigh up the pros and cons, and think what is most important to you.

fwiw, I took on a mortgage of £240,000 at 49. I have an OK income and interest rates were lower 3 years ago…What was most important to me, and still is, was securing the best home I could for the kids, as near to their friends and school as possible, and comparable to the FMH which EXH retained (went with his job). I don’t regret that for a moment.

Meant to say: Yes I worry sometimes about the mortgage rates going up. And will be paying off thr mortgage until I am 67 and stop work. But it’s been more than worth it for the safe, warm and happy home it’s become for thr kids. The daily joy is so worth it.