Do you have a secret bank account?

[Soffana]

That no one knows about?

Either you husband/partner?

Or perhaps you have more money than you let others to believe?

Yes because DH is a dick with money and I want the security.

My and my DH have separate finances and bank accounts. I have a savings account that has nearly £100,000 . I was considering putting it into our house but have decided I’d rather it be in the bank than in bricks and mortar. It’s my safety net in case something happens in our relationship.

Hindsight is a fabulous thing isn't it! Will certainly make sure my own kids are more aware and equipped with how not to make himself/herself vulnerable. Having said that, the you don't walk into a relationship knowing this is how it'll end up! Of course in the first few years there was talk of marriage and all the rest of it, not until it's too late did I realise it was all bs!

Never used to until last year. Its from a fiver here, a tenner there. Its my escape fund that I'm trying to build up.

Hindsight is a fabulous thing isn't it! Will certainly make sure my own kids are more aware and equipped with how not to make himself/herself vulnerable. Having said that, the you don't walk into a relationship knowing this is how it'll end up! Of course in the first few years there was talk of marriage and all the rest of it, not until it's too late did I realise it was all bs!
Of course hindsight is fabulous! My what the hell comment is a shock response to a dad ever making that sort of threat to his kids.

My post came across judgey and I didn't mean it to be, I'm sorry.

I just hope people who come on MN read posts and how other women have ended up in a pickle and think about their relationship status before having children in future.

Good luck and fingers crossed for you.

No. Both DH and I have our own accounts and joint accounts.

@notacooldad thank you. I'm in such a better position now, I made a plan years ago and stuck to it. Although I look back and feel so foolish for getting in this situation, I also feel very optimistic as I'm so close to being able to leave with my head held high and be able to provide for my kids myself.

Absolutely hope men and women find these kinds threads helpful prior to getting on a situation like mine and many others out there.

Always have had . Very happy life ( now) but very insecure childhood. I opened it with my first wave packet and at times it's rescued me from difficult situations. I have never mentioned it to anyone.

He sounds absolutely horrible.

Not secret, but I do have savings accounts that are just in my name, as does my husband.

If you are decently established when you marry, merging absolutely everything would be a huge hassle. Short-term savings are easy, but long term investments are much easier to just leave where they are. All our accounts are included on the family ledger and considered in our long term planning.

I feel like you should leave this person - who would threaten his partner and the mother of his children like that? And also impoverish his own kids?

I don't beside we are married and live in a country where divorces really are 50/50.

My mum told me to do this and calls it a F**k Off Fund. It doesn't have to be a secret or in place for leaving a relationship, it could be leaving an unhappy job knowing that you won't starve, or being able to retrain or move house.

I have never merged households with someone, so I am not sure what might happen to my FOF if I met the right person, but I've never hidden its existence from partners. If anything, it should be reassuring and they should probably have one of their own too - if they were in some kind of financial difficulty I'd expect them to have some kind of reserve to draw on rather than counting on me to sort it out.

Me and DH have a joint account for bills/meals out etc but otherwise have separate finances. So I have my own savings accounts.

But it's not secret, we both know roughly how much the other has. There's no need for fuck off funds if you maintain your own finances and I trust my DH

@feelthefreedom omg how disgusting of your OH people who say things like that really mean. Listen to your partner he means it, that would be enough for me to leave. I would get yourself on the council list and start bidding for properties ASAP.

Not especially a secret but I have accounts at 3 different banks, used to be 4. DH knows who my main bank account is with.

Like others here we have joint account for bills, and our own current account and savings account. DH doesn't know how much is in my savings account, and to be honest I'm loathe to tell him the exact amount as he'd spend it! He probably thinks there's 100s, but actually there's 30k.
Occasionally I think.... what would happen if I died & he found out? How would he feel?? But I can't tell him. Number 1, because (as I said above) he'd spend it, and Number 2, I actually think he'd be hurt.

Sort of. I've got an account in my home country that DH is vaguely aware of, but he thinks there's only a few hundred pounds in it, when it's more like several thousand.

I've also got some stocks and shared in my name only that aren't a secret, but I think DH has forgotten about.

When I left my all girls school, my headmistress gathered us in the library and told us all her life advice was to keep a secret bank account and also to always keep your skills up, because you never know when you'll have to rely on yourself, or start all over again.

Yes, few. But nothing in them. They are my old accounts ..

I still have one in my previous married name which I never got around to closing. It has about £100 in it, and it has been converted to a 'dormant' account by my previous bank. They want me to jump through hoops to get at it, and since they closed the local branch and the nearest one is nearly a hundred miles away, I really can't be bothered.

We have separate accounts paying separate bills and costs. Never had a joint account DH has some investments and a pension. I have a easy access account that I use for rainy day stuff and can be got at in an emergency. He knows about that. I'm also thinking about opening an ISA in April next year. He might not need to know about that.

I have separate accounts from my DP, but he knows about all of them, including the foreign ones. We’re pretty frugal compared to most people and don’t let on at all about how much we have. DC also has no idea, and they won’t until they are old enough to manage it themselves.

Yes. I had one. We weren't married but lived together. All finances were separate. I saved hard, was going to do it as a suprise for a down-payment for a house. Financially we both earned good wages so neither of us were going without.

When he ran off with the OW I had 60k in my account.

I have two separate accounts. He knows about one but has no idea how much money I have.

I'll surprise him one day

Please have a look at this link, if you can get away earlier. You can apply to the court to keep a roof over your head, at least. You do have some rights, even if you are not married, as do your children

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/if-you-were-living-together/relationship-breakdown-and-housing-transferring-property-for-the-benefit-of-children/