Can I use sons trust money to buy out my partner?

[Jessica8282]

Hi, I posted a while ago about my son inheriting a big lump of money.

Well we’re awaiting the sale of that family members house before we receive the money. All I know is that I will need to hold the money in trust for him until he’s 18. I haven’t spoken to the executor about this as I don’t know them (they’re not a family member) - but I think I am now going to need to talk to them due to what’s happened at home.

Quick overview; my son (13) and I live with my partner of 7 years, and his daughter visits every other weekend.

I’ve been unhappy in the relationship for quite a while, but trying to make it work to avoid any more disruption for my son, and because it’s not always bad - especially for the kids who get on incredibly well. However one of the reasons I am unhappy is that my partner has a nasty side that comes out occasionally, where he loses his temper unpredictably and starts yelling abuse.

Well that happened again this weekend, I won’t go into the details, but it was in front of our kids and over something ridiculously petty. It’s ruined the weekend, and everything really. I feel completely done with him.

Which leads me to what on earth am I going to do. We’ve just bought this house in 2020 it felt like we’d finally settled down and achieved stability. My son loves it here, it’s close to his school, friends, we have a dog, two cats etc. I can’t see us being able to afford anything more than a two bedroom flat in a not very nice area, and it breaks my heart thinking of putting him through that again (we went through it with his dad when he was 4).

So I want to try and find out if I can use the money he’s been left to help buy out my partner. I’m going to try and get actual advice in the next couple of days, but it really impacts what I do and say right now, knowing if I have a chance to do that. My thinking is that I would then sell (or remortgage if I could afford to then) when my son is 18 - or whenever he wants his money. I could move into a smaller flat at that point and wouldn’t really matter as it would just be me.

I’d really appreciate it if anyone with legal or financial knowledge about keeping money in trust could let me know if this sounds possible or not? Thanks

Okay I’m laughing now, you’re clearly just trying to get a rise out of me.

What a sad individual you are, sitting around getting kicks by ripping into vulnerable strangers on the internet. How on earth does anyone have time for this? Do you not have a job? Friends? Family? What a waste of a life.

There’s obviously something about my post that hits a nerve with you. Maybe your time would be better spent taking a look in the mirror and asking yourself what that is.

Very strange reaction, op. Quite ridiculous, frankly...

Clearly we're not going to get through to the OP, who thinks the fact that she wants to do it is reason enough, and for some reason thinks that it's more likely a load of strangers on the internet randomly hate her/want her son to suffer than that we see real problems with this. Maybe ones she hasn't thought of yet.

Can barely be bothered to point out that investing an inheritance in a buy-to-let property would usually be financially sensible because a) people pay rent on it (are you volunteering to pay your son rent for the next few years?) and b) the owner can choose to sell it when they want. Neither of which apply here if your son becomes essentially the co-owner of your home.

OP I can see why you're thinking of doing this, I really can. Your relationship sounds horrible and obviously you don't want your son's education/social life to be the price he pays for you ending it. But when it comes down to it, the person who left your son this money wants him to have it, when he's an adult. If they wanted you to have it, they'd have left it to you. Yes in theory if you "invested" the sum in your home and then sell in a few years and give back the money plus interest, it's all great. But there are SO MANY THINGS that could go wrong with this, many of which are listed on this thread. In any of these cases the end result would be that your son doesn't get all his money back, he loses out on interest, he has to wait many more years, or worst case he doesn't get it back at all.

And the main problem is that right now if he just sits around for a few years til he's 18, this money is coming to him automatically. If you get hold of it (however laudable your motives) one way or another he'll be dependent on you to get it back. I know you intend him to get it back but as others have pointed out what if things go wrong again in life and you need to borrow against your home? what if you get into another marriage? what if someone opens up a nuclear power station down the road and property prices plummet? what if you get sick or something else goes wrong and you can't move house?

For me this is and should be a no. It’s curious how these needs often appear when momey is about to appear to.

the issue is the emotional impact of your son having to make you sell your home. The reality is you can offer all you want but when the time comes make it as emotionally damaging as possible thay he would feel like he’s evicting you.

you are the adult and you need to provide for you and your child. Not him provide for you.

Also I’d add op there is laws in place op to protect children from their parents who wish to take the money, the money will be placed in a registered trust fund and locked till he is 18.