To want another child when money is tight?

[ebri91]

I have a beautiful boy who is nearly two. I want a sibling for him. DP is not onboard with the idea purely because money is tight for us. We aren't poor but we both work full time and live pay to pay. We don't have luxuries we can cut back on to afford another but if we had another child we have enough and could manage. DP thinks enough isn't good enough and that we should wait until we are more financially secure. I think we will be waiting a long time. Whats everyones opinion please?

If you don't have a margin for error, and are living from pay packet to pay packet, I wouldn't.

Could you leave it another year. Try to save a little. Think about future childcare costs.

I probably wouldn’t, also we are most likely heading for a recession. Could you delay for a year?

I think it's foolish to plan and have children you can't afford, but then it's only yourselves and your kids that are affected day to day really, so none of my business. Think about how you're going to pay for childcare, emergencies, what happens if one of you loses your job or hours. If you can cover that and can manage ok go for it. Have a look at budgeting tools, maybe you can afford to out aside a lot more than you think.

How old are you?

Id definitely give it a year and see where you are at financially.

How would you manage maternity leave when your pay reduces to £500 a month and childcare when your fees double?

Where I live, there is a local charity that provides clothes, shoes, toys, school uniforms, nappies and milk for babies etc to parents who can't afford them. Every day there are new referrals. I donate as much as I can.

I don't know the backstories of course but some are refugees, have started over due to DV etc.

But I suspect some were simply too optimistic about the financials.

How would you feel down the line about having to get referred to a charity for essentials your DC need?

Childcare will be your big cost, do you want to double it?
We're risk averse so would avoid putting major strain on our budget. My DD2 was born in the September that my 1st started school. Only one set of nursery and my mat leave allowed me to do the school up during reception.

I'd personally leave it until your first is about to start school so that childcare is only an issue during school holidays. But, I'm also that person who left having a child until she was 35 and now only has 1 out of the 2 or 3 she wanted.

I think waiting seems sensible. If you don't have luxuries to cut then it sounds like a second child would come with significant financial pressure.

However, if you are older parents and concerned that you might miss the boat completely, I might throw caution to the wind and get on with it IF there's a good chance your financial prospects will improve over time.

I think there will never be a right time to plan a child based on financial reasons as there is always something that will take your money.

A shock pregnancy 15months after the birth of my first left is worrying about finances. We weren't sure if we'd go ahead with the pregnancy because we didn't think we'd be able to afford it but I just couldn't go through with a termination so we went ahead. 9 months later we've managed so far. The main issue for us is childcare. I'm due back to work soon and nursery fees for 2 near where we are all round £3,400 a month which we can't afford. We've found a really cheap childminder for £2300 a month which is one of our salaries. I have to cut 70 a month from somewhere just to cover our basic bills.

It's a worry and is stressful as hell but we figure it's a year until the eldest gets free childcare hours, we also wouldn't change anything for the world.

How old are you and what are your current childcare arrangements?

Babies and toddlers are relatively cheap if you pick up most things second hand / can reuse things you already have. Childcare is the exception though!

We had a 3 year age gap between ours for this reason, that way we didn’t have to pay two lots of nursery fees. We could never have afforded that.

I don’t understand your finances.
How can you say there’s nothing you can cut back on, but also say you can afford a child?
Do you get 100% pay on maternity leave?
Will the new baby cost nothing?
Will you have zero childcare cost when you return to work?
Presumably you’re basing this on not paying childcare during maternity leave? Which is great for 6 months or however and then: BAM!

At the very least, wait until you’re getting some funded nursery hours. I’m with your husband.

With childcare it doesn’t pay me to be a top of scale teacher for one let alone two. So I’m a SAHM

I don’t think it’s fair to bring a child into the world when you can’t afford it. You would have to take things away from DC1 such as clubs,clothes toys, purely for a sibling.

31

I am not currently living in the UK so I actually get no maternity pay (but can take upto a year unpaid). It was the same when I had DS. We just managed, used our savings, I went back part time at 12 weeks ( full time now). I guess I feel we have always managed, we have just found a way. I think DP just dosen't want to struggle. Our fees wouldn't double they would increase slightly but not by much (second child discount here).

Increase "slightly"? That doesn't sound realistic unless the sibling discount is 90%. I think you really need to sit down with DH and make a realistic budget. I understand why he doesn't want to have another baby based on "we'll just find a way". At least show him you're being realistic and have a plan.

I think it's madness when people have a baby knowing they can't afford to do so. Focus on providing your existing child with the best life possible.

It’s natural to want another, but I think it would be unreasonable to actually have one in the circumstances you’re describing. I agree with the other posters to wait a year or two and see how you’re doing then. Inflation is so high at the moment that even if you could just about afford it now, it could put you in significant financial difficulties by the time the baby actually arrives.

I agree with waiting a year or two especislly when you are only 31.

Its 95% discounted for a second kid. So works out at around £10 per day extra.

Personally I’d go for it, you will actually manage somehow. But pledge to go back to work full time and to both look to get better jobs to increase your salaries long term

I have three children. We probably couldn't afford the third if I'm being honest, and almost certainly by Mumsnet standards, in the sense that although we do have enough money to live and pay for childcare etc, things are always tight and we have to juggle a lot for luxuries etc. We could probably do with a bigger house and could never afford to go abroad on holiday just now, we have a week in a caravan in the UK (which we love to be fair) but that's it.

The thing is, you can usually cut back. I literally haven't bought new clothes for myself in years. If I need something I buy off Vinted or eBay and all the kids clothes are generally second hand. We don't go out much at all, but then we never really have babysitters anyway and eating out as a family isn't much fun anyway (my kids are 6 and under so not really up for restaurants!).

I worry about the future but I've always figured we'll just manage and we usually do. I've never regretted my third child, she's worth a billion big houses and holidays.