To want another child when money is tight?

[ebri91]

I have a beautiful boy who is nearly two. I want a sibling for him. DP is not onboard with the idea purely because money is tight for us. We aren't poor but we both work full time and live pay to pay. We don't have luxuries we can cut back on to afford another but if we had another child we have enough and could manage. DP thinks enough isn't good enough and that we should wait until we are more financially secure. I think we will be waiting a long time. Whats everyones opinion please?

£10 mins extra a day with you working full time is £200+ though a month.

So why do you say there’s nothing you can cut back on and you’re living month to month on pay, yet you’re blasé about £200?

I know your thread was general principal, but I do think when you have 95% discount for a second child and are posting on a site based in and hugely populated by people from a country with eye watering childcare costs where you’d be lucky to see 10%, it’s silly not to mention that.

I don’t think anyone can really answer your question.

If your first post is correct, your husband is right, you can’t afford another child. But all your subsequent posts suggest your first isn’t correct.

So taking it back just to that £200 childcare… that sounds like a lot of money take fund from nowhere. Where’s it coming from? (or are you now going to say that in your country the £200 equivalent is tiny and just covers breadsticks at morning snack?)

Is your financial situation likely to change? Can you increase your earnings if you can’t decrease your spending?
Surely it’s better to look at that now rather than trying for a baby and hoping for the best?

Also children get more expensive the older they get. Shockingly so.

I think because of your childcare terms in your country I would go for it

Sorry op but I agree with this, totally selfish and irresponsible.
Who know what the future holds, current rise in cost of living is bad enough but job losses, child with SN etc... It's no fair on your existing child or a potential new child.

I would have another baby. You will find a way to manage financially. If you were saying you wanted three or more, I'd say no. I think go for it.

I wouldn't. But I strongly get where you're coming from. We have 2, things were 'comfortable' but like you, we're pay check to pay check. I'm now expecting baby number 3, which wasn't planned, but we've now got to really tighten our belts and won't be able to treat them to days out, holidays etc.

I’d compromise and start ttc 9 months before DC1 starts school. At 31, you’ve time.

Apply for promotions too, in readiness for the pricey teen years!

Ok, you’re in Australia. The childcare subsidy increase is a game changer but remember it only applies to $12.20 per hour. So if your centre increases its rates - and many will, regularly - then every extra dollar comes straight out of your pocket. My centre is at this limit and it’s manageable, but other centres that charge just a dollar or two more per hour would mean several hundred dollars extra per week.

And every other expense you likely have is increasing - petrol is up, rentals are scarce on the ground, interest rates are going up etc.

In your shoes, I would have a second child but not right away. I’d do whatever I could to get my expenses down and my income up, to not have to be stressed about money when the time comes. At 31, you have time on your side. Even a year to plan and prepare would make a massive difference.

rude much???

It would've been helpful if the OP said where she was. I strongly suspect Australia, in which case this advice isn't necessarily the best, based on how our childcare subsidy works.

Basically, the government subsidies a percentage of your hourly costs (the percentage is applied to the first $12.20 per hour - anything above that is 100% paid by you). Your percentage is based on your income and other factors. Second and subsequent children get an extra 30% subsidy, up to a maximum of 95%.

So if the OP would be paying 95% for a second child, then she'd be paying somewhere between 60 and 85% (which I think is the upper % limit for first children).

But this only goes until the first child's 6th birthday, so if her older kid is 6, then the second child won't benefit from the additional subsidy.

A smaller age gap will mean a few tighter years, but over the early childhood years, they will have paid a lot less for the second child (ie the value of the additional 30% discount, 5 days per week, at $122 per day is about $9k AUD per year). For a lot of families, this is worthwhile (hence the policy decision...)

I would but if your DH doesn’t want another baby at the moment then that’s the end of it for now.

No, not rude at all @ebri91

Just pointing out that your saying different things on your post - either you have no spare money, or you can easily cover an extra £200 a month.
So which is it?

We had very little money when my children were born. I couldn't afford 2 in full-time childcare so left a 4.5 year gap between them. That worked out well and there was enough of a gap that they didn't squabble. You'll make it work.

Imagine you are 80. Are you more likely to look back and regret not having a second child or delaying financial security?

Well I am sure you will make some stupid comment about breadsticks after this but £200 pm (400AUD) is not a massive amount on money where I live.....when I say we don't have a lot of money and live pay to pay I don't mean that we are totally broke.

u will find a way to manage.. u only live once and I would never let anyone tell me I cannot have / another child
what about all pancracks on my council a date that don’t work and have 5 kids, they manage x

Estate * not a date lol x

This is the reason I have just one DS, we can afford life’s little luxuries from time to time but I couldn’t imagine working this hard with multiple children and then not being able to afford a holiday.

Its also not just money, I am so so time poor that I couldn’t give multiple children what they need emotionally and physically.

The time part is probably the biggest reason we have stopped at 1, he is almost 9 now and wonderfully kind and well adjusted, I have zero regrets and he doesn’t miss having a sibling.

You need to do some actual calculations. Work out how you will live during time you’re out at work - all the costs. Work out what you will earn and any benefits you’ll be entitled to, in the hours you work and all the costs including childcare. Is there money left over after costs? If yes, you can afford it. If not, you can’t.

Lots of people have a bigger gap than they’d ideally like, to manage childcare costs or to get back to work more full time.

Sound alike you don’t want to hear suggestions that you perhaps should wait and delay it a bit. You do have time at your age. With another year, can you save hard….or is it likely you either can’t due to income being too low or you’ll lack the self discipline to do it? Sometimes you have to be prepared to wait for things.

Think about the life your children will have - if things are too tight, you’ll have Spartan, quite miserable lives. That could be avoided if you wait a bit longer possibly…that’s what you need to assess and consider if you’re prepared to wait for a better childhood for the kids .

At 31 you can afford to wait a two or three years and see what your financial situation is like then. And if your partner has changed his mind.

For those numbers to be right you’ll need to be paying £200 per day for the first child, or £4,300 per month.

Living pay day to pay day implies that you are spending your entire income.

If you are not then how much are you putting away into savings each month, and how much are your savings in total?

If your husband doesn’t want another DC then don’t have one.
Why make your lives more difficult and stressful?

I have a beautiful boy who is nearly two. I want a sibling for him.

I don't know that this is a smart basis for having a baby.

Are you sure you want a sibling for him?

If you want a second child for yourself, that's a different matter, but siblings shouldn't be brought into the world for existing children.

If your son is an only child he'll be absolutely fine.