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Original poster

Struggling to save 3-6 months salary - how did you do it?

89 replies

Lovinglife45 · 27/03/2022 08:57

Despite having a decent household income (not high earners though), we have never been able to save 3 to 6 months salary. Whatever goes into the savings account is soon wiped out by emergencies, helping both parents who are struggling financially and other costs.

We have a monthly personal allowance of £120 each which covers clothes, socialising, hair and beauty. Not nearly enough!

I polish my own nails, dye my own hair, buy shaving kits, pluck my own eyebrows. I do not buy magazines, food or drink on the go lunch at work. I rarely spend more than £30 on a pair of shoes or item of clothing. I buy non-leather shoes and only shop in sales.

Our dc attend one extra curriculum activity each.

We are constantly buying dc new clothes, shoes as they have growth spurts.

I use an Excel budget sheet and update monthly.

I stay awake most nights worrying about our lack of savings. I am also on anti-depressants for increased anxiety.Sad

OP posts:
EdgeOfSeventeenAndThreeQuarter · 27/03/2022 09:01

I’m on a mega-low income and the only thing that’s helped is an ISA. On the first of the month I pay a small amount into that. Because I can’t easily whip it out, it stays there. The annual statements always surprise me.

Transferring money to my savings account works for about 10 days!

NoSquirrels · 27/03/2022 09:04

helping both parents who are struggling financially

I would say this is the main difference between your situation and ours. How much & how often do you help?

Original poster
Lovinglife45 · 27/03/2022 09:07

no squirrels
We give them £150 a month on average in total. There has been months where this amount has doubled.

OP posts:
ReachersDaughter · 27/03/2022 09:08

I’m in the same boat OP. Ok income, single parent, struggle to save. There’s always something big, lately I’ve had car service, new tyres, boiler repair and the shower needing replacing.

Last year, new oven washing machine, tumble dryer (all 15+years old). Fridge freezer and dishwasher will need replacing next as they’re 18 years old now. All integrated so more expensive.

Then I’ll be DC going to uni. As long as I keep ticking along that will have to do but it is bloody wearing.

Blanketpolicy · 27/03/2022 09:10

helping both parents who are struggling financially

How much? They need to start doing what they would they do if you couldnt afford to help. You need some savings for your own familys financial security.

NoSquirrels · 27/03/2022 09:14

@Lovinglife45

no squirrels We give them £150 a month on average in total. There has been months where this amount has doubled.
About £2,000 a year then? If you didn’t do that, you have 3-6 months savings building up.

Do they genuinely need your money? Or is it habit + guilt? Because that’s not a big amount to give them in that it presumably doesn’t pay much of their living costs, but it’s quite a big amount to you because you can’t save, and so you’re sacrificing your own family’s financial stability to prop them up. How are your pensions? You don’t want to make the mistakes they have of a struggle in retirement and having your DC feel responsible to support you.

ememem84 · 27/03/2022 09:50

Pay it into an account where you can’t touch it for a year. I do this with savings for my pension. Every month x comes out and goes to a different account. Then when the account term is up I pay it into pension.

1AngelicFruitCake · 27/03/2022 10:04

I think you need to stop giving them money. You need to focus on your quality of life. How old is your child? Mine always need something and it never seems to end. I end up putting only 20/30 month in savings sometimes but we put £50 each into a savings account we can’t touch and that’s for Christmas, birthdays and car.

SmilingHappyBeaver · 27/03/2022 10:16

You absolutely should not be helping your parents out, at the expense of your own financial security, reduced opportunities for your DC and you own mental health. They are adults, and have had their whole lives to prepare for old age/retirement, not your responsibility.

Can you explain your position to them and gradually reduce your support? What do they actually need help with?

Can you ringfence your savings into short term, for emergencies etc as you describe, and long term, which you just simply don't touch?

Isonthecase · 27/03/2022 10:17

When we get pay rises we put the extra in to savings straight away so we don't get used to spending it. We've been lucky and had a few big ones so that added up quickly. Within reason though obviously, lots of savings you don't touxch are little use if you're struggling day to day.

GreenClock · 27/03/2022 10:21

You can’t afford to support your parents any longer. Make the next gift the last one, and explain firmly and politely why that’s the case.

Soontobe60 · 27/03/2022 10:21

If I thought my daughters were struggling and I was taking money off them I’d be mortified! Stop giving them money if it leaves you short.

alrightfella · 27/03/2022 10:23

Stop supporting your parents. I know it sounds harsh but your dc are more important.

How old are they, can you do a benefit check on entitled to for them to make sure they are getting everything they are entitled to. Also worth asking (if you have time) would they like help with their finances. Help them do a spreadsheet, you may find that they have direct debits they don't need.

ReachersDaughter · 27/03/2022 10:36

@Isonthecase

When we get pay rises we put the extra in to savings straight away so we don't get used to spending it. We've been lucky and had a few big ones so that added up quickly. Within reason though obviously, lots of savings you don't touxch are little use if you're struggling day to day.
My public sector pay rise is £35 a month net. My gas and electricity bills have increased by £196 in the last two months.
ememem84 · 27/03/2022 10:42

@Isonthecase

When we get pay rises we put the extra in to savings straight away so we don't get used to spending it. We've been lucky and had a few big ones so that added up quickly. Within reason though obviously, lots of savings you don't touxch are little use if you're struggling day to day.
I try and do this.
Bunnycat101 · 27/03/2022 10:51

I’ve always thought the 3-6 months is a really challenging and unobtainable target for many families so you’ll not be alone in not reaching that. If you are genuinely using it for emergencies then it’s being used as intended really: as a buffer to avoid you needing to use credit. The parental contribution is really what is holding you back. Do they really need that £150 more than you do?

Troublesometooth · 27/03/2022 10:54

Why are you financially supporting another family? This is a big area you could be saving if there is any way you can stop doing it.

Can they look for some part time work? Downgrade their house or car?

RandomMess · 27/03/2022 11:01

Stop supporting your parents they need to learn to budget for themselves.

Buy 2nd hand clothes, up to the age of 11ish they are as cheap as chips.

DenholmElliot · 27/03/2022 11:24

It's 3-6 months of expenses, not 3-6 months of salary.

And stop supporting your parents. Money goes DOWN, not UP!

sweepeep · 27/03/2022 11:31

Do you mean 120 each for you and dh for clothes etc? Surely you don't buy clothes each month though?
And yes I agree you need to stop subsidising your parents of you can.

Nidan2Sandan · 27/03/2022 11:36

I dont know anyone who has that amount in savings tbh, and most of my friends are mid to high level earners.

The only person I know who has "spare" cash each month (which just gets spanked on crap) is a girl I've known since high school. Married, but recently separated. 3 kids in a shared ownership property. But, since she was a teenager she has had a platinum credit card which her parents pay off monthly and even now in our 40s they still do this. Parents are wealthy, own a successful business.

Im trying to save £700 by the end of the year to use for xmas.

shabbalabba · 27/03/2022 11:42

@Nidan2Sandan plenty of ppl have those kinds of savings and wouldn't make it known. I can guarantee you they have more than they let on. We have nearly 50k but I don't actually tell anyone that.

bigbluebus · 27/03/2022 11:43

Why are you helping parents out?
Who will help you out if you need it? Answer:no one! So you need to save that money for your own emergency fund.

NameChangeCity123 · 27/03/2022 11:48

I'd definitely either stop or vastly reduce what you're giving your parents. I know if I was giving my parents and struggling to the extent that you are, they would be mortified and would definitely stop accepting the money. It's lovely you've helped until now but circumstances change and you're no
Longer in a position to sustain this

Dyrne · 27/03/2022 11:52

£120/month each for pissing up the wall is a lot.

£150/month supporting your parents is also a lot. Why are you giving people money who have had their whole life to save and plan for retirement; at the expense of your own children?

Cut down on those two things and you’ll build up decent savings in no time.

Other than that, if your Emergency fund keeps getting wiped out by genuine emergencies, then I’d argue it’s doing its job. It’s frustrating starting again and having to build it up, but it’s better than not having the money available for the emergency in the first place.