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Original poster

Struggling to save 3-6 months salary - how did you do it?

89 replies

Lovinglife45 · 27/03/2022 08:57

Despite having a decent household income (not high earners though), we have never been able to save 3 to 6 months salary. Whatever goes into the savings account is soon wiped out by emergencies, helping both parents who are struggling financially and other costs.

We have a monthly personal allowance of £120 each which covers clothes, socialising, hair and beauty. Not nearly enough!

I polish my own nails, dye my own hair, buy shaving kits, pluck my own eyebrows. I do not buy magazines, food or drink on the go lunch at work. I rarely spend more than £30 on a pair of shoes or item of clothing. I buy non-leather shoes and only shop in sales.

Our dc attend one extra curriculum activity each.

We are constantly buying dc new clothes, shoes as they have growth spurts.

I use an Excel budget sheet and update monthly.

I stay awake most nights worrying about our lack of savings. I am also on anti-depressants for increased anxiety.Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Lovinglife45 · 27/03/2022 12:08

nosquirrel
They genuinely need support due to silly decisions made in their earlier life.

allrightfella
They are in their 70's

Denholm
I always assumed it was six months salary. Even so expenses are still unachievable.

Sweepeep
Yes each. This covers clothes, shoes, any form of socialising, hair, beauty.

Shabbalaba
I too believe a lot of people have a good amount of savings. As you say, they will not divulge this to you.

Bigblue
My parents have relied on my financial help once I started working part time at 17 years.

OP posts:
FinallyHere · 27/03/2022 12:34

Are your parents claiming all that they are entitled to?

BeeLady15 · 27/03/2022 12:35

It’s very hard for mid earners to save 6 months living expenses. In reality if you lost your jobs you’d get redundancy and social welfare payments too. I think 3 months is a more realistic target. Like others I will say that you need to cut your parents off financially. You say it’s because they made silly financial mistakes in their early years, you’re now making a silly financial mistake by supporting them and having no financial security yourselves. Both my husband and I are high earners but struggled for years because we were supporting parents. This ended as it was completely unsustainable and now we are achieving some security and achieving our own goals. It sounds like you have a very tight budget as it is and no room for cutting back other than this route. Good luck x

sweepeep · 27/03/2022 12:43

@Lovinglife45 what do you think the repercussions would be if you sat down and told your parents you could no longer support them?

SilverGlassHare · 27/03/2022 12:46

True re the redundancy. The company I work for pays out a month’s salary per year’s service, up to 12 months max. And £30k (I think) of that would be tax free. Of course if your company goes bust or you get freed for incompetence or misconduct, you won’t get that.

SilverGlassHare · 27/03/2022 12:48

But that’s something to consider with regard to how you’d manage if you lost your jobs.

Have you considered cutting your fun money to £100 each per month and putting the extra £40 in savings

WeAllHaveWings · 27/03/2022 13:05

They genuinely need support due to silly decisions made in their earlier life.

Do you expect your children to fund you in the future for the choices you make now? I hope not, so don't fund your parents either to the financial detriment of yourselves and continue the cycle eventually your own children.

They need to get all the benefits they are entitled too and downsize their home and lifestyle to match their own means.

Original poster
Lovinglife45 · 27/03/2022 13:24

Beelady
I agree with all you have said. I would be happy with three months savings tbh.

Sweeppeep
I would feel guilty. They would continue to struggle.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 27/03/2022 13:33

But you are struggling to help them, have they truly done what they can to improve their circumstances/live within their own means?

DaphneduM · 27/03/2022 13:36

I think you need to help your parents address their financial situation. They're taking the easy option accepting your handouts, and it absolutely isn't fair on you, when you're concerned about your own lack of savings.

If they rent, and are on pension credit then surely most of their rent and council tax is covered? If they however own their own home then they could explore equity release? If they have outstanding credit then they need to get advice from CAB or similar. You say they've made poor decisions, well quite honestly that's on them and they shouldn't expect you to bail them out. You absolutely shouldn't feel guilty - you've helped them long enough, to your own detriment.

Hollyhead · 27/03/2022 13:42

I think start small, aim for one month’s expenses first. How many DC do you have and how old are they? You can get bundles of clothes on eBay - often 10 or more items for £20, although I buy them some new clothes I find that bulking out with 2nd hand this takes the sting out of the new stuff. Also do this with some of their shoes - not every day shoes which need to fit perfectly, but for the ‘extras’ like crocs/welllies/beach sandals etc.

I agree with others though it’s helping your parents which is having the worst effect - you’re paying them £1800 per year which is a decent chunk of emergency fund. Are you likely to inherit any of your wealth back to yourself one day?

Original poster
Lovinglife45 · 27/03/2022 13:48

Hollyhead
I have no inheritance coming my way - not even £1.

OP posts:
sweepeep · 27/03/2022 14:01

@Hollyhead have you ever tried to tell the that you cannot afford to support them??

Apileofballyhoo · 27/03/2022 14:04

You will probably need to give your parents more money with inflation as it is. Can they not live within their means? No judgement, just wondering what their situation is.

MintJulia · 27/03/2022 14:16

Before you spend anything, ask if each item is absolutely essential? Is there a less expensive option?

If your dcs are growing fast, look to spend less on their clothes, since they won't be in use for long (unless they can be handed down).

Definitely stop giving your parents money. If you want to help them, get your dh to check things like the amount of insulation in their lifts etc. Things that will save money over the long term. Advise them on shopping around for better insurance/internet/phone deals etc instead.

Ind00rOud00r2 · 27/03/2022 14:38

If they are in UK
The full state pension should be £185 per week, per person in the new tax year, so after April

If they don't receive this, you should help them claim Pension credit

If you are giving them £150 per month

That is taking money away from you paying into your own private pension or savings

FinallyHere · 27/03/2022 15:06

State support for those unable to manage.

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/money-legal/benefits-entitlements/housing-benefit/

https://www.gov.uk/pension-credit

If they are struggling with debt, a full disclosure can lead to an agreement to pay a manageable amount over time. You say there is no inheritance , there may not be any need for you to direct money to them.

windmill26 · 27/03/2022 15:08

Prices,bills etc are going up,use this as an excuse to cut your parents off. I would be mortified to go cap in hand to my child every month . Your parents have to learn to live within their means . Stop feeling guilty,they can see that and they are taking advantage. The £120 each personal allowance is quite extravagant for a family that have no savings. I would take that down drastically to £ 20 each and put the rest in an ISA or a saving account that needs some sort of notice to withdraw money from. Go around the house and everything that you don't use anymore put on Ebay,Vinted etc,the money you make also goes into the saving account.

BertieBotts · 27/03/2022 15:36

We use YNAB. We don't have that amount saved but I did manage to get up to €2000 saved before DH went on parental leave which will probably be the biggest expense we have now for many years. Now trying to build that up again.

I like it because you can set up little funds for things like kids birthdays, Christmas, car repairs, car tax, anything else paid yearly rather than these coming from the general "emergency" fund just because they don't happen every month. I've also done stuff like put money aside over several months for large purchases like if I can tell the dishwasher is on the blink and will need replacing at some point.

That means you know what you really have and can build up amounts over time and also it helps you quantify what you have rather than just going oh we have twenty quid spare, let's do this or that.

It does cost money, there are some free versions but I find it's worth it.

ImplementingTheDennisSystem · 27/03/2022 16:41

I would suggest a period (of a couple of months or however long you can cope with) of drawing out a small amount of cash and living off of that as spending money. Put everything else into savings. When I was saving for our house deposit, once all bills were paid, I gave myself £15 a week, cash, to live on for a year. I walked to work (obviously not possible for everyone) and made pasta pesto for lunch during the week etc.

HermioneWeasley · 27/03/2022 16:43

You can’t afford to subsidise your parents.

OceanAvenue · 27/03/2022 16:48

@windmill26

Prices,bills etc are going up,use this as an excuse to cut your parents off. I would be mortified to go cap in hand to my child every month . Your parents have to learn to live within their means . Stop feeling guilty,they can see that and they are taking advantage. The £120 each personal allowance is quite extravagant for a family that have no savings. I would take that down drastically to £ 20 each and put the rest in an ISA or a saving account that needs some sort of notice to withdraw money from. Go around the house and everything that you don't use anymore put on Ebay,Vinted etc,the money you make also goes into the saving account.
How would you even get a haircut with 20pm though?!
windmill26 · 27/03/2022 17:25

@OceanAvenue,How would you even get a haircut with 20pm though?!
I go to my local Beauty college where I never pay more than £15.I got used to it years back when money was really tight and now I refuse to spend more than that (just to clarify,they do a great job !) .I realise that this is not possible for everyone but surely nobody HAS to go to the hairdresser monthly! I could afford a £ 120 monthly allowance but I rather save that money or spend it once in a while for something tangible that I really want/need. The op has stated that she does all her beauty upkeep at home,she doesn't buy food or drinks on the go and she buys clothes and shoes on sale ,never spending more than £30 ...I am confused...where does this £120 go? I feel the £240 monthly allowance is a lot for a family that is practically living paycheck to paycheck.

DDouble2BubbleNot · 27/03/2022 17:26

According to Government website the state pension will increase by 3.1% after April. By an extra £289 per year
However, the increase will probably be swallowed up by higher gas, electric, petrol, food bills

Did your wages increase by that much ? Because my payrise was 1%

Most savings accounts, not counting stocks & shares or pensions are paying less than 1.5% interest per year

gogohm · 27/03/2022 17:51

@Lovinglife45

£120 each for beauty/socialising is quite a lot. Typically I spend no more than £50 for instance but I do save for holidays and Christmas