Struggling to save 3-6 months salary - how did you do it?

[Lovinglife45]

Despite having a decent household income (not high earners though), we have never been able to save 3 to 6 months salary. Whatever goes into the savings account is soon wiped out by emergencies, helping both parents who are struggling financially and other costs.

We have a monthly personal allowance of £120 each which covers clothes, socialising, hair and beauty. Not nearly enough!

I polish my own nails, dye my own hair, buy shaving kits, pluck my own eyebrows. I do not buy magazines, food or drink on the go lunch at work. I rarely spend more than £30 on a pair of shoes or item of clothing. I buy non-leather shoes and only shop in sales.

Our dc attend one extra curriculum activity each.

We are constantly buying dc new clothes, shoes as they have growth spurts.

I use an Excel budget sheet and update monthly.

I stay awake most nights worrying about our lack of savings. I am also on anti-depressants for increased anxiety.

But what is your parents situation that you have to still support them to the tune of £150 at least per month?

Have you checked whether they're entitled to pension credit, attendance allowance?

You can get a dry cut for less than £20. I pay my hairdresser £18.50 and I live in a v expensive area.

Have you checked your parents expenditure?

Example
Some people have miss placed loyalty to companies. They may use the same house insurance provider for 20+ years & pay £1000 per year. However, if they shopped around, they could get a better deal with another company for £100

There are savings to be made if you change each year & shop around

@ReachersDaughter

I’m in the same boat OP. Ok income, single parent, struggle to save. There’s always something big, lately I’ve had car service, new tyres, boiler repair and the shower needing replacing.

Last year, new oven washing machine, tumble dryer (all 15+years old). Fridge freezer and dishwasher will need replacing next as they’re 18 years old now. All integrated so more expensive.

Then I’ll be DC going to uni. As long as I keep ticking along that will have to do but it is bloody wearing.

But those are not unexpected expenses that would come out of the '3-6 months emergency fund' which is primarily for loss of income, eg if you lose your job or are too ill to work.

Car repairs, white goods replacement, and vets fees if you have pets are something that you know will happen sooner or later, as is the planned expenditure on DC going to uni.

Savings for those things won't build up as real, spare money, because it will always be needed for cars or household items (or pets).

Our parents have a small pension and often run low of food at end of the month or cannot top up the heating.

gogo
I will consider reducing this amount.

@Lovinglife45 with all due respect you are still enabling them! What if you were also struggling and running out of food?! What would they do if you truly truly couldn't afford to subsidise them? Do they budget or spend until it's gone and then turn to you? I would want to know their full financials before I subsided anymore!

@Lovinglife45

Our parents have a small pension and often run low of food at end of the month or cannot top up the heating.

gogo
I will consider reducing this amount.

If they are on limited pensions they should qualify for pension credit. www.gov.uk/pension-credit/what-youll-get

If your parents are running out of food they could ask for a referral to a food bank. Failing that, rather than giving them cash buy some basics and give them that - going to be a lot cheaper than £150 a month. with the increases in cost of living coming I think it is the perfect time to sit them down and explain that you are no longer going to have that spare cash and that they need to look at their finances properly and start budgeting.

Have you discussed their budget with them? Have they reviewed their bills to get the best deal, cancelled subscriptions/contracts that they don't use/negotiated with Sky/Virgin if they have it?

Do they have any other pensions apart from the state pension? Are they getting all the benefits they are entitled to? Housing benefit, pension credit, attendance allowance?

Are they short of money because they're on a low income or because they budget and prioritise badly? ie does their income cover their rent, bills and food? Are they running a car and do they need to? What does their spending look like? Are they running out of food money because they don't have enough money coming in, or do they spend on non essentials?

Are either of them capable of earning some extra money? I know they're past normal retirement age, but that doesn't mean that they have to retire and if they're fit and well, they might be capable of doing a few hours a week, will bring in extra money and give them something to do, especially if they do things like go shopping/visit cafes to fill their time or get out of the house.

Something like casual self employed work if they don't want a formal job, cleaning, gardening, dog walking, cat feeding, baby sitting, matched betting, that sort of thing. I know a few people who have done informal wrap around care for older primary school grandchildren for 'expenses' that is just mutually agreed informal childminding where DCs go to their grandparents after school until their parents finish work.

Have they applied for help with rising utility costs? I learned the other day that utility companies have special tariffs available for people on low incomes but you have to phone them to apply. In a similar vein, have they looked at Moneysaving Expert? There's a whole section on the website about 'help with the cost of living crisis' so that could be good for them to go through.

Sorry, lots of questions, more for you to go through with them, rather than replying to on here, but with household budgeting and whether or not someone is short of money there's sometimes a lot to it than them saying they don't have enough money and the gap being filled by you giving them money that you can't necessarily afford.

But those are not unexpected expenses that would come out of the '3-6 months emergency fund' which is primarily for loss of income, eg if you lose your job or are too ill to work

What are you on about exactly Barbara? The point I was making was those type of recent expenses had hindered my ability to save six months salary.

For the record OP, I’d be helping my elderly parents too. I wouldn’t see them struggle for food or warmth if I could help them and they were living a sensible life.

Barbara and London
They are on a low income - state pension only. They are not in fit state to work.

Millions of other pensioners survive on state pension only. Your parents can too.

@Lovinglife45

Barbara and London They are on a low income - state pension only. They are not in fit state to work.

If they have the state pension only and are renting, they are likely to be entitled to extra benefits, especially if they have mobility issues, ie one of them may qualify for attendance allowance.

They should therefore do a benefit check. Have they done this? Those extra benefits are often a gateway to further financial help, so it's important to claim even if the amount of money seems small and not worth filling in a form or two.

Then if they have 2 x state pensions, get help with their rent and are entitled to other benefits, then they should have sufficient income to cover their basic expenses and have some fun money. So shouldn't need you to give them money at the detriment to your own financial security and lifestyle.

If they are running out of money, they've either not applied for the help they're entitled to or they're wasting money somewhere. So that's what you look at rather than just give them money that doesn't seem to fully solve their money problems anyway.

I am not there yet but getting there. I sell things on ebay, complete surveys and use quidco. All that money goes to savings. I was using surveys for pocket money but my son has got a part time job now. If you want to use my survey link you get 40p to start. I usually make around fiver a day, which is over a grand by the end of the year.

I'm inviting you to join AttaPoll. Get paid to take surveys. Download the app here: attapoll.app/join/skawm

And this is my link for cashback site quidco. I do my online food shopping via this and expect to have around 800 by next Christmas. When your first five pounds cash back clears this link will give you a five pounds bonus. I aim to make another 100 a month on ebay.

app.quidco.com/raf/1qnW

No-one starts with 3-6 mo this of salary or expenditure. Most people never get there. It’s an aspirational amount of savings - good to keep aiming for, but important to accept that at the current time, you’re unlikely to fully get there.

It is dis-spiriting when you save a bit and then it gets wiped by a major expense dropping up. But at least you’re not going into debt over these things….and that’s a big step up from many people who struggle to get out of debt. If you’re keeping your head above water, you’re doing well.

Yes, the parental top up really isn’t helping. You should go through their finances with them and check they are getting everything they can in terms of benefits and help them look at their budgeting. I wouldn’t immediately end helping them, but tell them them that you really do need to start cutting down and the cost of living increase is hitting you and you’ll have to prioritising your family. Otherwise it will be the case you can’t buy new shoes for your kids at some point.

Keep going with it all. People DO manage to build up little by little by sheet determination and keeping going long term. Essentially the biggest thing you can do is boost income, because making savings yields small savings. If one of you can get a job for a couple of shifts a week in a pub or similar, where no childcare will be needed, you’ll see a difference.

Put simply, income needs to exceed expenditure. When expenditure takes all your income and there aren’t any cuts to be made, all you can do is look to boost income.

@WombatChocolate I beg to differ, I reckon most ppl have savings to cover a few months.

[quote sweepeep]@WombatChocolate I beg to differ, I reckon most ppl have savings to cover a few months.[/quote]
Not sure I’m convinced of this! We both have reasonably high earning jobs… above national average etc. Have maybe 1 months salary saved but nothing else for emergency house repairs etc…

The majority of people have very little in savings according to stats and surveys. It's naive to think "most" people have a few months worth -that's a lot of money to most people.

The average savings in the UK is less than £3k.

Loads of people are in debt - negative savings. (And this excludes mortgages)

Huge numbers live hand-to-mouth and worry as their bank balance dwindles as the month progresses.

It is a severe lack of awareness at how many live to think most people have the expenditure needed to cover several months put aside. Even those living seemingly affluent lives are often living hand to mouth.

Large proportions if the population are only 2 crises away from severe economic problems. If they had a relationship breakdown and a loss of job of main breadwinner, or a death and a financial crisis that cost multiple thousands, many would not weather the storm easily.

Perhaps I am going by the posts I read on mn. People with one year's salary in savings, people who have received inheritances, people who can afford detached houses, save and go on 5 star holidays, people whose parents pay for their children's private fees/ give them deposits for houses.

Though I enjoy the conversations on mn, I find it hard not to feel like the poor relation.

Much of it depends on house prices where you live, how young you got in the property ladder, if you had the option to stay with parents to save etc etc. free childcare from parents, low commute costs and so on!

@ReachersDaughter

I’m in the same boat OP. Ok income, single parent, struggle to save. There’s always something big, lately I’ve had car service, new tyres, boiler repair and the shower needing replacing.

Last year, new oven washing machine, tumble dryer (all 15+years old). Fridge freezer and dishwasher will need replacing next as they’re 18 years old now. All integrated so more expensive.

Then I’ll be DC going to uni. As long as I keep ticking along that will have to do but it is bloody wearing.

I think that's normal and people tend to forget that.

I remember as a kid (30 years ago), neighbours bought a new fridge - and it meant they tighten red their belts for a whole year. I remember being envious of their big purchase and wished we could afford something like that.

Now people buy a new gadget and complain they have no money. You bought things - you're doing good

I have six months worth of savings and it's taken about 8 years to get here. Starting small with a few blows along the way.

I agree with PP make sure your parents are on the best tariffs, are budgeting well etc to see if you can reduce how much you give them. How old are your children and could you get them second hand clothes until you're in a better position?

Although I understand feeling guilty for not helping your parents out it's causing you to suffer. Can you reduce the amount say by £50? We are going into summer so heating will be less of a issue and they really need to start sorting their own out. If they are running low on food towards end of the montb have they tried community schemes such as larders or fridges where its often free or very cheap or the app to stop food waste?

When I had a lot of debt(20K+) and a lowish income (17k) I paid it off by stripping right back. Clothes were either primark sale or second hand often from friends. Food I got stuff in bulk from Indian supermarkets such as lentils and veg is often cheaper, same with a market at the end of the day. I also sold surplus things of mine online. It soon added up and I got out of debt within 4 years.
Vinted is a good selling platform for outgrown clothes etc.