Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

HUSBAND DID NOT RETURN DS FOR CHRISTMAS

80 replies

mummyfixit · 26/12/2007 20:15

Can anyone help me. I have also posted on relationship thread.

My DS was due to be returned to me at 2pm on CHristmas eve. ExH called me at 1.45pm to tell me he was not returning him. My DS is only 3.

I left ExH on 10th December, not a nice man and very controlling. This was the first time he had seen DS since then (had spoken to him every evening). We exchanged solicitors letters and it was ExH idea to have DS from 22/12 to 24/12 and return him to me. I readily agreed as DS should see his Daddy. Now ExH will not return son, will not let me see him and says he will fight for custody. Please, please can anyone help.

I am going to try to call a Solicitor tomorrow (my solicitor is closed until 2/1/08).

OP posts:
ScottishMummy · 26/12/2007 20:20

oh how scary and awful for you, you must be absolutely frantic!can someone support you through this?O my heart goes out to you. a Solicitor - yes. do you have formal access arrangements etc, have these been breached

take care hope you wee one and you are back together soon

WendyWeber · 26/12/2007 20:21

No advice but hugs for you, your Christmas (& DS's) must have been so sad and horrible

When it does come to sorting out custody I hope this will count against him bigtime

lacarte · 26/12/2007 20:24

no advice but i'm so sorry for you, this sounds unbelievably horrible. xxx

yogimum · 26/12/2007 20:26

I'm sorry but I would be calling the Police. Do you know where he is? I hope you get him back soon. Is it worth talking to exes family, maybe they can persuade him to bring your ds home.

edam · 26/12/2007 20:26

That's appalling. What a shit he is.

You could also try calling social services - sadly I think they are used to handling cases where the absent parent refuses to return a child.

Hope you get ds back in his rightful place very, very soon.

Tortington · 26/12/2007 20:30

she has called the police. acording oto ther threads.

if it were me i would get a very big guy to fuck him over

Original poster
mummyfixit · 26/12/2007 22:44

Thank you for your comments. I have called the Police, unfortunately nothing they can do. I will go to see Solicitor tomorrow, I think this will count against ExH big time!

OP posts:
AwayinaMargoNooNooCribForABed · 26/12/2007 22:51

Did you see the section that Wifi posted? Does that not help? Have you a 24 hour legal helpline with your home insurance/work?

FairyOnTopOfTheChristmasTree · 26/12/2007 22:58

I think you've done the right thing to report him to the police as it will presumably now be on their record. Also make sure you keep notes of what you agreed, when (and if there is any evidence/anyone else was there) with your son'd father. Keep notes of any conversations you have with him about this.

Definitely call a solicitor first thing tomorrow and see if they can get a court order to get him back. I would have thought a court will look very harshly on his actions. I hope it all goes well for you

Original poster
mummyfixit · 26/12/2007 23:01

Thank you Fairy. I have been keeping a log of all conversations and calls I have been trying to make together with all text messages I have sent. I could not get to speak to DS until about 7.30pm on Christmas Day and I was frantic by then so had sent lots of messages etc before hand. I really do think ExH has really messed up any chance he had of gaining custody. He has made his solicitor look stupid as he has not kept to his word and returned DS when he told his own solicitor that he would. I have a copy of his solicitor letter confirming the arrangements.

OP posts:
FairyOnTopOfTheChristmasTree · 26/12/2007 23:06

I'm sure you'll find a solicitor tomorrow who can help you. I really hope that it all goes well.

Nightynight · 26/12/2007 23:28

mummyfixit, just seen this thread. My ex - also very controlling and not a nice man - did this in the summer. (I was afraid he was going to do it again before Christmas but he didn't).
Anyway, I was running around like crazy, to teh police, solicitors, trying to track ex h round france, because I didnt know if he could take them abroad.
After I discovered that he couldn't take the children back to his country, the best advice I got was just to sit back and wait for him to return the children, and in the end, he did.

What is your ex going to do? can he take your ds abroad? Is he the sort of person who can even contemplate looking after a small child permanently? Esp. a small child who will be asking for his mother.
If not, then ex really doesnt have anywhere to go. He's just exercising the usual control freak desire to make you jump when he pulls the strings. F*g pathetic, just like my ex.
Just hang on in there, and polish your application for 100% custody. And wait for your ex to deliver your son back to you.

chipkid · 26/12/2007 23:41

Courts are sitting tommorrow get an emergency application in for a specific issue order for the return of the child, Do this ex parte (without notice) and get the order typed and served immediately. He really has shot himself in the foot-but I guess this is no consolation to you on boxing day when you have not seen your ds over Christmas.

I am so angry on your behalf!

QueenBhannae · 27/12/2007 00:19

Oh mummyfixit, how awful for you and your ds.
Where is he having him at? If he is with a family member might they be more receptive and understanding? Could you talk to his family and try to make them see it from your side?
I really hope you get this sorted out quickly.
Definately keep notes of everything.
I hope you get your little boy back very soon.My heart really goes out to you. Be strong and take care.

OverRated · 27/12/2007 00:37

and

I'm so sorry

I hope things go well tomorrow

bossybaublesinherbritches · 27/12/2007 01:04

nothing to add but (((((( (big hugs)))))))))

awfuls ituation for you all xxxx

Nightynight · 27/12/2007 18:15

mummyfixit, how did you get on today?

KaySamuels · 27/12/2007 18:18

Oh god mummyfixit - my heart goes out to you! {{HUGS}} I know they're not mumsnetty but sod it!

He sounds like a prize twat and he won't have a leg to stand on in the end. I know that won't be any comfort to you til you get him back though.

OverRated · 28/12/2007 03:47

Did you manage to contact a solicitor mummyfixit? Been thinking about you today

Original poster
mummyfixit · 28/12/2007 17:12

Went to Court yesterday, was adjourned until today when the Judge ordered that ExH should return DS to me at 1pm tomorrow. We then go back to Court on 7th January 2008 with my DS seeing his father for the weekend of the 5/6 January 2008.

This is the best outcome I can hope for and I am just thankful that the Judge granted in my favour at this stage.

Thank you all very much for your kind help and I will let you know how things progress.

OP posts:
MaLopez · 28/12/2007 17:15

Thanks for the update. Was wondering what had happened.

pinkteddy · 28/12/2007 17:19

mummyfixit - hope you OK haven't posted on this thread before but have been lurking. Let us know if DS is back tomorrow. Can't imagine what you must be going through

Hulababy · 28/12/2007 17:29

Glad that you have your boy back with you. Hope all goes well on the 7th.

Hulababy · 28/12/2007 17:29

Sorry, misread - glad you will have your boy back with you tomorrow.

AwayinaMargoNooNooCribForABed · 28/12/2007 17:53

oh I am glad, /i hope that you will be able to a proper arragement now

Swipe left for the next trending thread