Anxiety is starting to spiral. Best budgeting advice please?

[Needanewadventure2021]

Hi

I really dont want to make a big deal out of it as an awful lot of us will now be feeling the same way. However my anxieties over financial worries is starting to cripple me. I'm scared, I'm upset alot and I'm losing sleep worrying how I'm meant to manage.

I am single parent working 30 hours a week around my 7 Yr old DS. I have tried working full time but im actually on near the same income now as I was working more hours (as had to pay for childcare and lost tax credits). My net income a month is just under 1100. I then get topped up by tax credits. I also receive CB and maintenance, however despite it being via a DoE maintenance is intermittent so its hard to count that as guaranteed, and the CMS have been very unhelpful and never seem to be on my side.

My outgoings have already been stripped back. Sim only phone, no TV contracts, cheap broadband of 20 a month, 12 plate car paid off. Remortgaged to a better deal. Energy is crippling me. Cheapest deal was a 48 percent increase which come as a shock as I have never ever used more that my monthly DD and have always been in credit. Now the usage is being used up by my monthly payment and I am now scared to put the heating on over the winter! (Not extra units being used than normal). I cant see how I can drop any other outgoings as they are your main ones they everyone will need. I get the single occupancy discount on my CT too. I also repay the exs debt still that he ran up in my name. This has been shifted to 0 percent over 27 months which has given me abit of breathing space.

I've lived in my home 10 years. I am mortgaged. I should be able to live fine. It's making me feel like a really crappy mom. My Ds clubs have all been stopped. We don't have days out. Even though I work I am poor! And I am regularly mocked for not having a life. I cant bloody afford one!

I have had a benefit check and already receive everything I am entitled to. A move to UC doesn't work out well for me and is a big decrease on tax credits.

I hate all this worrying.

I'm looking for better paid work. Ideally with some work from home involved so I can work around my Ds as much as I can. Family are unable to help and he has no contact with his Dad. I feel a better paid job now is my only real option. I'm good at what I do but it will never pay more than I am currently on. I also want more from my career.

Does anyone have any good budgeting tips please? For example I was thinking once DDs are all paid maybe I could withdraw cash and use cash envelopes per week so be more mindful when I food shop. I am pretty good really and ive managed to cut the bill down well but its easy to scan my debit card isn't it.

Sorry for rambling. I just think today has been a hard day. Though my DS dad is absent by his choice he seems to have landed on his feet. Lots of travel, nights out, flying lessons and recently enrolled as a mature student at Uni. When I was told this I stupidly checked on the fees and was saddened to see the course PT was more than double what he is ordered to pay my son per year. And on a FT basis the yearly course cost is the equivalent of over 5 years worth of maintenance for my son. It just seems so unfair that we are struggling and he has been able to self improve. He left me with somewhere around £30k debt 6 years ago which I am still paying off but he has been able to better himself and his career potential. This is now the second uni degree in 7 years! But strangely remains in the same low paid job he has been in since his teens!

Sorry to rant.

Thanks for your time x

OP - you need to check out the £10 per day threads on here. A lot of them suggest doing surveys, stuff like that to work in the evenings at home.

I do IpSos and YouGov surveys, get £20 every couple of months.

I scan every single till reciept I get into Shoppix - this gains £20 into Paypal every 4-5 months, not a huge amount, but pays for my haircut, or eyebrows...and it's free.

Silly question but how do I find these jobs? I do worry about working from home abit. At the moment I am customer facing and am around colleagues so have human interaction but I have to consider WFH opportunities as I feel it would cut alot of the additional stress out and allow me to work/earn more

I do have clippers and have cut his hair. But he has sensory needs so I keep him to the same barber for familiarity and his only in the chair for 15 minutes rather than nearly 2 hours with me! It's taken over 6 years to get him to the place he is now with his haircuts so it's a worthwhile expense.

I will also check out the other threads. I bet it takes alot of patience though

As I said - check out the MN £10 per day threads. I think they are also on the Money Matters board. And the Shoppix/surveys I do, I do in my spare time. Evenings usually.

try here

I use reciept scanning apps in reward for Amazon vouchers which I use towards Christmas. I have £150 this year from them. Takes a bit of time ans remembering but am always happy with the vouchers at Christmas. The ones I use are Shoppix, Snap my eats, Huyu, Shopprize uk and Storerewards.

Completely understand home hair cuts a no go then!

I guess apply for them and ask if offered? Bit of company research, ask at interview if it's office or hybrid based?

2 days per week trekking into the office very different to 5.

Good you have a spreadsheet for dds but to be honest they rarely vary or not by much it's really the other spending that needs more monitoring and control ime

Great your council does a winter grant hope you get the WHD.

I keep meaning to try the £10 a day thread ideas myself must get on that to get a wee bit extra in for Christmas, my worry is that I'm on benefits and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to declare such income or what

My Ds clubs have all been stopped

Sorry it’s not helpful budgeting advice but you could try junior parkrun for an activity with your DS.

It’s a free weekly running event (not a race!) for children on Sunday mornings, you just need to print off a free barcode once. It’s so friendly and welcoming and feels like a proper, paid-for club or extra curricular activity.

Also a great, supportive community vibe which could help you through this dark time - financial troubles can be so isolating. You can look at their website to see if there’s one near you. You might be able to car share/get a lift with someone else going if it’s too far to get to easily (not sure if you have a car/bikes).

Apart from that, sounds like your doing a great job and are a lovely mum and as PP said it’s the love they remember. Your ex is awful. Good luck with the winter grant.

When money was tight I used to rely a lot on supermarkets points and surveys for a little bit extra.
You said that you shop at Aldi ,would you be open to use other supermarkets if they are close to you? for example Lidl has an app that every month gives a £2 off coupon when you reach £100 or £10 off coupon when you reach £200. Tesco and Sainsburys reward cards are good to use when you can double your point value .A lot of things are not more expensive in the major supermarkets compared to Aldi/Lidl but you need to do a bit of research and make sure that you get rewarded for the stuff you would buy anyway.The Nectar double up was a lifesaver for Xmas gifts as they usually run it in November. The surveys are a slow burner but it is something you could do in the evening while watching television. A lot of them pay in vouchers (Amazon is a popular one) or via Paypal. You will not make a huge amount of money but a little bit extra to help for Xmas / Birthday etc . is always welcome. In regards of your EX ...he is a A...hole and believe you me Karma will sort him out!

Sorry for being quiet. Covid is currently kicking my ass. The aches are terrible.

To be honest I do shop in other supermarkets using clubcard offers and lidl plus which are fab. It does sound like I am doing alot of what I should be which is good.

For those who use an electric throw, I know I will need to take into account the higher upfront cost but are there any you recommend? And are they really cheap to run now energy prices have shot up?

I haven’t used an electric throw/blanket but just based on our costs I think they will not be very expensive. We have a smart metre and last week we put the heating on for two days, the metre showed just under £6 for each day. Now it’s showing 90 pence. Everything other than hot water and heating in our house is electric.

If you are concerned about the cost then try fleece blankets first, you can put one under the bottom blanket and anther over the duvet.

Hope you feel better soon.

When you say sensory needs do you mean they have other additional needs and may be entitled to child DLA (depending on rate also get extra tax credits). Depends if they need additional care compared to other child their age. I’ve also cut my water bill in half by getting water meter as they assume 2 adults so may assume there are 3 people in your house. If meter works out more money you can switch back within first year.

The house has always had a water meter so I'm used to only paying for usage.

I havent had the courage to out heating on yet. We have been off the last 2 weeks and I have an extended isolation. Lots of blankets at the moment.

Yes there are additional needs there with my son but getting him the support he needs has been a battle his whole life. Its still argued he is too young young be considered as having additional needs (not that I believe that) so we get no help.

For those who use an electric throw, I know I will need to take into account the higher upfront cost but are there any you recommend? And are they really cheap to run now energy prices have shot up?

It really is pennies. Lakeland wrote that it's from 1p a night (obviously depending how long you have it on for) and somewhere else, (Which?) I read that 2 hours a night for 6 months is £2.99. Mine was from Aldi.

Wow is that all. That's incredible. I dont know where to start. Are they all as good as each other pretty much? Or are some recommended more than others. Do you feel it reduces the need to use the central heating? Obviously I know that there is no way I won't be able to avoid putting it on all together, it's going to go on at some point but I doubt very much I will be able to put it on all the hours we are home (before school, after school and weekends) like I usually would

I have a Mia and Coco heated throw which was £40 on Amazon. It has 9 heat settings and a timer from 1 to 9 hours. It is lovely and fluffy too.

Thank you. Im going to have a look. I'll ask to borrow some money. Been quite poorly these last few weeks. Some warmth would have been nice

Does anyone usually buy you a Christmas gift, was wondering if you could ask for an early gift, or vouchers towards.

No we don't do presents for adults which helps alot. If need be I will just pop one on the credit card. Not ideal but also not loading loads onto it

Op whilst being even more careful with money is great, you sound far more qualified than your salary indicates.
Why not speak to some recruitment agencies and see if there are any reasonable options in your previous career?

It’s still worth applying for DLA there’s some good online guides like cerebra which can help with filling in form and you can ask anyone who knows the child eg a friend with a child similar age who can compare what extra you do for the supporting evidence section - but it helps if the school notice the differences.
You only need to provide 1 hour extra care a day for the lowest rate

I thought he has to have a diagnosis to receive help?

And thank you. Not in a big headed way at all but I am way more qualified than what I currently do. At first it was ideal. Now it drains me. Its also why I go above and beyond in my job so I feel like im doing something important. It goes unnoticed though by the business unfortunately as it means then can avoid officially giving me more responsibility and more money.

I am looking for other work. I feel remote working would enable me to reduce costs and still nip out to do the school run. It's a few minutes from home can walk there and back in 15 minutes. I'm defo up for making the move though. Fear set in the other day, what if I fail? I have to push past that

There are two apps that get you cashback on the groceries you buy.

The first is Shopmium and the second greenjinn.

I have only used Shopmium, you look at the offers each week, buy the goods, scan the receipts and they pay you within 24 hours. The offers are not great right now but they have had things like Rana pasta meal kits free which normally cost £4.50.

Some of the items are completely free, some give you money off.

I used to do a lot of internet surveys but the only site I use now is YOurSayPays. You need to check daily but there are loads of short surveys which pay from 10p to 50p. I can make £60 of Amazon vouchers a year which go towards Christmas.

Have you done "swag bucks" before? DH did it and earned a lot my answering questionnaires - he was sneaky and answered in such a way that he ensured he was the demographic they wanted I can send you a referral link if you want?