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Original poster

I'm worried how I'm going to manage..

68 replies

visitinghours · 21/08/2021 13:27

I worked full time until having DS, earning about £1,100 a month. After I had him I didn't return to my job and worked in a cafe. The cafe has now massively reduced its opening hours as a result of COVID - meaning they can only give me 3 hours (£30) a week. I'm currently pregnant and due in 6 weeks so not an ideal time to look for a job.

DP's wage can cover all household bills and be said he can give me £150 a month for "me" even.. but I'm just worried how I'm going to cope. Silly things like new clothes or getting my hair done. I stupidly got rid of a lot of clothes I didn't think I wore over lockdown and wished I hadn't as now I can't afford to replace. I don't want to rush back to work after DD is born either though - I currently don't have a job to rush back to anyway.

The cafe aren't being very quick in letting me know if I'm entitled to maternity (I'm not sure if I earned enough) and if not I want to try to get maternity allowance but can't until they pull their finger out and it's stressing me out.

Have any of you managed on a period of no income of you own?

OP posts:
AmazinglyGraceless · 21/08/2021 13:30

DP's wage can cover all household bills and be said he can give me £150 a month for "me" even

How generous of him Hmm

The point should be, how much is your household income? Do you qualify for UC?

Original poster
visitinghours · 21/08/2021 13:38

He earns £60,000... I think we have around £1000 for things like food, petrol etc and then the rest is disposable or used towards debts.

OP posts:
Original poster
visitinghours · 21/08/2021 13:39

@visitinghours

He earns £60,000... I think we have around £1000 for things like food, petrol etc and then the rest is disposable or used towards debts.
I don't qualify for UC... because of his income I'm not even sure I should get the child benefit that I do Sad
OP posts:
Blueskythinking123 · 21/08/2021 13:41

Where do you live? Our your out goings high? £60000 is a good wage and you should be able to manage in the short term.

Goofers · 21/08/2021 13:43

Your partner earns £60,000, why are you worrying about money? Don’t you treat it as household income?

I don’t understand why he would give you ‘pocket money?’ You live together and you’re having his child. It doesn’t make sense…

Blueskythinking123 · 21/08/2021 13:50

Are they joint debts?

fringeneedsatrim · 21/08/2021 13:52

I really struggle to understand when people live together, especially with children, why all money coming into the house isn't pooled family money?

We pool all of our money into a joint account. All bills, expenses, both cars etc. Any time we go out for dinner together etc. Basic necessities like hair cuts etc. come out of the joint account. We both also have a direct debit into our individual accounts for the same of amount of money each so that we've got money to spend on whatever we want for ourselves. Regardless of whoever contributed most into the joint account, we are a partnership so we have the same amount into our individual accounts. So therefore we have the same individual disposable income. I spend mine on spa days and meeting friends for coffees, he spends his on his sports hobbies and monthly lads night out.

IceLace100 · 21/08/2021 13:53

Your partner earns £60,000 but he can only give you £150 for you?

What a piss take.

LIZS · 21/08/2021 13:55

If you are due in six weeks will you get smp or ma? If £150 is a budget just for you I would think you can manage although it may mean some cutting back (how often do you visit hairdresser etc) . If £150 includes other things it may be problematic. Have you checked child benefit, is it declared on his tax return?

IceLace100 · 21/08/2021 13:55

Take home is about £3,000

Your bills are £1,000.

So you have £2,000 spare.

What's the issue?

Needanewadventure2021 · 21/08/2021 13:57

Your partner earns that much and can only give you £150 for 'you'. Im actually shocked at that. That is a very decent wage. Surely he has plenty of money left over after all outgoings are covered. £150 spending money for you is a joke. That's not even £40 a week!

BuffySummersReportingforSanity · 21/08/2021 13:57

Have you looked at getting married? Is there a reason you haven't fully combined finances already?

Bagelsandbrie · 21/08/2021 13:57

What?!! This is insane. Your dp earns £60k, and “gives” you £150 a month?! Shock All money should be shared and equal and you should have equal spending money. No less.

BuffySummersReportingforSanity · 21/08/2021 13:58

Also, if you are living together then no you should probably not be receiving CB unless your partner is paying a lot into his pension and taking his earnings below the threshold.

Original poster
visitinghours · 21/08/2021 13:58

My work are so slack they haven't let me know yet if I'm entitled to SMP or not even though I gave them my MATB1 months ago. I've asked them to please let me know ASAP as then I need to try to apply for a maternity allowance. They are not very professional and it's the first business they have ran so I don't have much faith in them getting things sorted.
We're in Yorkshire. I think DP takes home around £3000 a month(?) and once everything is paid for it does equal around £1000 not including food etc left. We have about £6000 worth of debt which we both ran up (wedding deposit which was lost anyway due to COVID, just general crap that we put on the credit card) but that debt is just in his name. I have about £200 of store card personal debt.

OP posts:
Tuscancat · 21/08/2021 14:03

Our household income is double that and our personal spends is £150 each too. It doesn't sound too crazy to me!
I manage fine, we just have to plan a bit more and I tend to invite people over rather than go out. But you won't be going out loads with a new baby either.
Plenty of decent clothes on ebay.
I'd get married and get full transparency on the budget though.

Goofers · 21/08/2021 14:08

@Tuscancat

Our household income is double that and our personal spends is £150 each too. It doesn't sound too crazy to me! I manage fine, we just have to plan a bit more and I tend to invite people over rather than go out. But you won't be going out loads with a new baby either. Plenty of decent clothes on ebay. I'd get married and get full transparency on the budget though.
You only have £300 left for spends between you on a household income of £120k?!
Flatdisco · 21/08/2021 14:09

What kind of work did you do before op?

GoodnightGrandma · 21/08/2021 14:10

When I was off I just took what I needed from our joint account.
I wasn’t given an ‘allowance’ as all money was ours.

nimbuscloud · 21/08/2021 14:11

. I think DP takes home around £3000 a month(?) and once everything is paid for it does equal around £1000 not including food etc left. We have about £6000 worth of debt which we both ran up (wedding deposit which was lost anyway due to COVID, just general crap that we put on the credit card) but that debt is just in his name. I have about £200 of store card personal debt.

Thinking isn’t sufficient. You need to know for sure. Sit down with him and get very very familiar with the incomings and outgoings
Do you have a joint account?

NanooCov · 21/08/2021 14:12

You need to sit down and speak to your partner about finances. If you have been receiving child benefit while he has been earning over £50,000, he will have to pay the high income child benefit tax charge so probably owes HMRC. It may be worth stopping child benefit payments but you both need to sit down and work that out.

You can probably work out yourself if you are eligible for SMP rather than waiting for your employer to figure it out. Depends how long you have been on reduced hours but it sounds like probably not as you would have to be earning on average £120 a week. You probably will qualify for maternity allowance as the weekly threshold is £30. Get your claim in ASAP as you can claim it from 26 weeks.

Whether £150 is fair or not depends on what it is to be used for (does it include clothes and other things for kids, and other family purchases?) and how much free cash the household jointly has on a monthly basis after all bills / groceries are paid for.

Chocolatebuttercream · 21/08/2021 14:13

Hmm my DH is the sole earner, he earns 61k and we only have 100 a month each for 'me' things too. We live in the South East though and our bills are very high as a result, I'm a little surprised that you don't have a bit more OP, but it seems about right.

However you should both have equal 'me' money otherwise it's not fair

fabulousathome · 21/08/2021 14:15

Not enough sharing here.

Is he the father of the baby? It's a joint decision to have a child and you will both live on the joint household income, whatever it is.

I can't belive he earns £60k and you have to worry about money.

Shelby10 · 21/08/2021 14:17

Where do you do your food shopping and how much do you spend? You can save loads by shopping at a cheaper supermarket if you don’t already, and meal plan. Possibly turning your £150 into £200/£250

smiales01 · 21/08/2021 14:19

Wow, I'm confused? The 60k household salary is decent, not amazing but hardly low income. As for the £120k salary and having to be careful from the sounds of it is frightening? Is there an enormous mortgage there?

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