I'm worried how I'm going to manage..

[visitinghours]

I worked full time until having DS, earning about £1,100 a month. After I had him I didn't return to my job and worked in a cafe. The cafe has now massively reduced its opening hours as a result of COVID - meaning they can only give me 3 hours (£30) a week. I'm currently pregnant and due in 6 weeks so not an ideal time to look for a job.

DP's wage can cover all household bills and be said he can give me £150 a month for "me" even.. but I'm just worried how I'm going to cope. Silly things like new clothes or getting my hair done. I stupidly got rid of a lot of clothes I didn't think I wore over lockdown and wished I hadn't as now I can't afford to replace. I don't want to rush back to work after DD is born either though - I currently don't have a job to rush back to anyway.

The cafe aren't being very quick in letting me know if I'm entitled to maternity (I'm not sure if I earned enough) and if not I want to try to get maternity allowance but can't until they pull their finger out and it's stressing me out.

Have any of you managed on a period of no income of you own?

I don't have any advice regarding SMP but I just wanted to echo the advice upthread about child benefit.

DH earns similar and we had to pay back a few years worth which added up to a few thousand. Luckily we avoided a fine as we hadn't realised we were no longer entitled to it and brought it to their attention. If they have to chase you for the money owed though you will get fined. It happened to a friend of mine.

Try the earn £10 a month thread. Loads of amazing ideas on there

£10 a day!

They never ever send wage slips so I'm going to have to chase them for them.

It's a legal obligation of an employer to supply payslips, btw. This can be on literal paper or digitally, but they must provide them. So it might be worth talking to ACAS if you aren't getting anywhere with them.

@FlowerArranger

Just wanted to point out that you must not stop the child benefit. Even though your partner will have to pay it back via his PAYE, it will give you credits for your National Insurance, i.e. it will count towards your state pension eligibility.

I would further add that I'd press ahead with the plans to get married. A register office wedding is all you need to ensure you are protected. As a low income partner you are currently in a vulnerable position.

Also, in addition to giving you 'pocket money' , he ought to be making contributions to your private pension plan. You really need to think ahead!

You can also register for cb but opt out of payments, which keeps ni record.

I think you and your partner need to sit down and have a conversation about money OP.

Unless you have a huge mortgage (which you may do depending on where you live), £60,000 should be plenty as household income even if you aren't working .

@IceLace100

Your partner earns £60,000 but he can only give you £150 for you?

What a piss take.

After he pays all the household bills - She should try and get another job.

@visitinghours - your employer must report your income to National insurance even if your earnings are very low. Check here:

www.gov.uk/government/publications/rates-and-allowanpces-national-insurance-contributions/rates-and-allowances-national-insurance-contributions

This is because you are entitled to NI credits even if you don't actually pay any contributions:

taxaid.org.uk/guides/information/an-introduction-to-income-tax-national-insurance-and-tax-credits/national-insurance/national-insurance-for-employees-and-employers/national-insurance-thresholds

They must also give you a P60 at the end of each tax year:

taxaid.org.uk/guides/information/issues-for-employees/employee/some-basic-forms-you-may-receive-from-your-employer

If they have not done this and are refusing to do this, you should contact HMRC. This is very important.

Why would the children's things come out of your personal spends? If you had to buy the weekly food, household bills etc out of it I could understand the issue.

I earn £60k and only spend about £150-£200 a month on "me". DP earns similar and probably spends about the same, probably less as he is pretty unconcerned by material things.
Family and couple activities etc all come out of our joint account. And we put plenty into savings/mortgage overpayments.

So I am a bit surprised by all the shock on this thread. It's plenty of money if it is just for clothes /treats etc. Especially as they both have a fair amount of debt so should be focussing on paying that off.

I would say though op that while you are on maternity leave you should both have an equally amount of "just for me" money and I would make sure he is being open about his net income.

@Goofers no, that is what we allocate for personal spends. Not what is left over.

Very similar approach to @KeyboardWorriers

@fringeneedsatrim

I really struggle to understand when people live together, especially with children, why all money coming into the house isn't pooled family money?

We pool all of our money into a joint account. All bills, expenses, both cars etc. Any time we go out for dinner together etc. Basic necessities like hair cuts etc. come out of the joint account. We both also have a direct debit into our individual accounts for the same of amount of money each so that we've got money to spend on whatever we want for ourselves. Regardless of whoever contributed most into the joint account, we are a partnership so we have the same amount into our individual accounts. So therefore we have the same individual disposable income. I spend mine on spa days and meeting friends for coffees, he spends his on his sports hobbies and monthly lads night out.

This ^

He is only able to earn 60 k because you are providing care for his child.
I think you are due half everything.

Hang in a minute, DH earns £60K, covers all household bills, expenses and joint debts then leaves himself and OP with £150 a month EACH spending money.

OP had been working and spending any income on herself, not adding it to the joint money pot, yes?

So up until now OP has been better off financially than her DH - he isn't keeping money from her, he's just covering all their joint, family expenses, including both their spending money.

Now OP is looking to lose her extra income so wondering how she will cope on 'just' her £150 a month.

What do you expect her DH to do?

This wont be popular. When I was the main earner, after shelling out everything I gave myself more personal spends than I gave him. Giving him more wouldn't have given him an incentive to earn a wage. Why would it? Get all bills and food paid for plus a couple of hundred as personal spends.

Thanks everyone. He has written down what he gets and everything that goes out for me before to help me understand it, I just can't remember the exact amounts. I don't think he's keeping any money from me or anything or if he is it will be for savings, he knows I'm terrible with money (I am) and it's probably best if he didn't tell me about any savings as I'd probably just want to spend it.

I suppose I'll just have to get by on £150 for a few months if I don't get anything as maternity pay. Then go back to the cafe for the few hours which will give me £120 a month which is better than nothing, while looking for another job. If I wasn't having another baby it would be easier as I could now start looking for a job within school hours but obviously now that's not the case with a baby coming along, we'll have to think about childcare.

I would say for the past 2 years or so I've had more money for myself than DP. I would get on average about £300 from the cafe dependant on what hours were available and if my mum was free to have DS the most I earned was about £700 and the least about £200.

I think I've just got used to having a reasonable amount of my own spending money and I'm just getting a bit anxious at the thought of no longer having the same amount.

I'm anxious about everything at the moment with this pregnancy for some reason!

I'm hoping that it was a typo but how have you been on furlough from April 2018?