Does it seem fair to you- money

[Namechangesensitivemoney]

Hi just wondered what others thought about this. DH thinks it is unfair the way our money is divided, I think it is OK.

We have separate accounts, I have long term health conditions and get PIP and cont based ESA. In total about £800 a month along with child benefit of £140 (two DC)

The mortgage is paid off and the main bills and council tax are around £500 a month. He pays this.

I pay for food shopping and any health / dental plans, DC school lunches etc from my account - around £500 a month at least.

He earns quite a bit more than me, however he rents a premises for his self employment which is about £500 a month.

Anyway this weekend he has been complaining I don't contribute enough.

@RandomMess

So he wants a lifestyle that collective you can't afford.

You could offer to sit and go through finances together to see where cut backs could be made so he could save up for a skiing trip for him or something?

I think it would be good for you to have a proper discussion with all the numbers so you both look at where all the money goes? If he can save money by buying less wine/lunches/cheaper mobile phone/other fripperies then it may be doable?

It may be that looking through the finances properly he can see that it's just not affordable.

This seems to be the crux of the matter. Many people are in this position.

Can afford the basics and some extras but it is very likely that the money will run out before the want for extras does.

As well as getting a proper handle on what your DHs take home pay after business expenses like his unit rental and vehicle costs, plus his tax bill of course, you need to work out what's available after bills etc and agree how to divide it up. Plus maybe cut some costs or spends to free money up for holidays etc.

Would a skiing holiday be just him, or the whole family? Don't fall into the trap of him taking all the spare money when there's four of you in the house who'd like to go on holiday, get a takeaway, buy new clothes, do activities etc.

Also don't forget about how small expenses can add up hugely if you do them often enough. The classic 'I can't afford a holiday because I have no spare money' scenario is someone who buys their lunch out each day and might also get a coffee and cake at some point in the day too. They might think this is a normal essential expenditure, but the fact is that it costs a fortune over time compared with a packed lunch and a flask and could easily add up to a grand or more a year, from just spending a few quid every working day. Cut that down and you've got your holiday money right there.

Another thing you could do to contribute is get a really good handle on family finances, which can make your money go a lot further and make a massive difference to the amount of money you have left for fun stuff.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/budget-planning/