Housing, long term sensible choice

[Pleaseaddcaffine]

So I need some advice.
I have one son with my partner. He has 3 children from a previous relationship.
I own my current home outright, bought pre us living together. This is good for me as no living costs. It's 3 bed semi on a main road but in a nice small town/large village. Good schools locally and 1 mile from my parents. Long ish commute for my work but it's a nice area.
Down side is main road at front but back is a cul de sack, so quite ish and the garden is a small. But there is a nice park 150mtrs away at end of road.
Partner complains its small but he cannot afford to contribute to anywhere bigger so it would be me taking risks etc.
I'd like a 'smarter' house somewhere off the main road in the smae village but it would easily be 130k plus more for a 4 bed as hard to come by in this area.
I'm not sure it's worth the financial risks to do this but I also get that I'd having a 'better' asset in terms of a bigger house got selling on in the future or downsizing.
If dp could contribute then I'd be okay, ring fence my contribution and go for a bigger house. But as things stand it would be me taking all the risk.
The current lack of mortgage means I save regularly and can afford holidays etc plus don't worry about expenses (I'm a bit of a worrier and finaically cautious).
Views?

he's very cheeky to call your house small and expect you to cough up for a bigger house with no contribution from him, why can't he contribute to a new place? You could consider a small extension of the finance is there as an additional bedroom if you have space.

We wouldn't get planning here for an extension and the ceiling price for the road means it wouldn't be a sensible option.
Only option would be to convert the garage into a usable room downstairs which his dsc could use. I think this would cost but not ridiculously as it hs water /electric already but again I'd be paying for it.
But he is self employed so uses that for storage etc curently.
He has no savings, self employed and low wage esp more so now with covid hits. I earn a medium wage of between 35 and 40k, depending. So enough for a mortgage but not a vast sum.
I want to make a practical good financial choice and I do see appeal of bigger houses but it puts all the finial pressure/risk on me.

Reading your post it sounds like you are happy with the house, but your partner has put doubt in your mind.

Nope. If he can't contribute, don't do it.

OP there was a thread on here a day or so ago, where the OP had a paid-for house and a daughter, but upon marriage to her partner of 4 years, she extended the house to create room for his DC, giving her a mortgage. He also put in some money.

2 years after that, and after an incident, she was on the thread regretting that she had given up her safety and security of a paid for home in her name only.

The post struck a chord with me, and my heart went out to her, as she obviously made the decision in a hopeful state, with no thought that things could end up as they are.

Obviously you and your partner are different.l people and this is a different situation. But maybe read that thread before you decide. I’ll try an find it and link it. It would be sad to be you coming back in 2 years saying the same thing and facing such financial uncertainty and instability, when you had it in your hands to start with.

Honestly if I didn't have children I would have bought a victorian 2 bed I saw elsewhere that was 20k cheaper and georgous. My dream home.
This house was a compromise, its a big 3 bed and in a perfect location for childcare and schools. The road and garden were he comprmaise.
I can see why he wants a bigger house but my view is I can't carry the finial pressure of it alone. If he would apy ahlf the mortgage etc fine but no way he would be able to afford half a mortgage and half of the bills, esp on somehwte bigger.
But I lso know property can be a good investment longer term.

Do his DC live with you?

Thank you I think I read that thread too and it did strike a cord. I'll give it another read!

One night a week and eow and half school holidays.

if he cant contribute dont do it, why should you take all the risks

You can’t afford a bigger house on your income - you are very lucky you can afford what you have. If you had the contribution from extra income then that would be different. But as you’re paying for all the family housing yourself, it seems, stick with security.

A 4-bed still won’t give each child in the blended family a room each, so the garage conversion sounds like the best option. Your DP needs to contribute to extra costs like bills etc though.

No. No. No. No. NO.

You bought a house which suits your needs (and sounds great to me). You own it outright, which is particularly essential as your DP doesn't contribute to your family's housing costs. If he wants a bigger house, he needs to be paying for it, not putting pressure on you to do so.

I strongly advise you not to marry him - he sounds like a liability. Keep your house, keep your money separate, and don't take advice about major financial decisions from a man who can't keep a roof over anyone's head.

I'd say if he wants a bigger house for his kids to come and stay then he should pay for it.
How old are his kids? Are they under 10 and likely to need the extra bedroom for nigh on a decade, or are they 14+ so likely one of them will stop wanting to stay over soon? 25 Yr mortgage for a couple of years use of a room or just keep squeezing in hour current house cos it's only a few more years and you'll keep being financially free.

Nosquirells... Its not luck, although I am fortunate. I saved and overpaid and did up previous houses and invested sensibly for years and also made sacrafices. Hence why I am mortgage free now at a relatively young age.
If we had two decent incomes I wouldn't even e worrying! I could afford a mortgage an diving costs but it would be tight, esp if anything happened later on. So I do see your point that security is a good thing.

It sounds like everyone agrees security is more important in my cirs. Thanks x

My son is 2.5. His 3 are 13, 10 and 9

I'll cost up the garage conversion. Anyone any ideas on costs? Would 5 to 10k cover it? It has water and electric but no heating currently but I can extend to the existing system. More insulation etc would be needed I imagine.

How did he pay for accommodation in his last relationship?? And how did he run his business before he had your garage??

I agree with prior posters. Stick with your current home. I’d tell your partner that if he wants a larger home to better house his children, then he needs to get himself into a better financial position where he can contribute and cover at least half the mortgage. Until then, you as a couple simply cannot afford it. You are not a sugar mama.

Don't do it!! I'm in the same position - flat on a main road, in my name only. Husband wants a house but can't contribute. It's a firm no. When he can put his hand in his pocket to provide he gets a say in the matter.

Christ, he wants you to buy him a bigger home to house him and gyou S kids? And your considering it?

Honestly the mind boggles. Tell him to get a bloody job and earn a decent wage then he can’t get a bigger house.

Owned home with exw signed Iver all euity when divorced so kids could stay there due to not wanting them to move schools etc. Not financially sensible but I can seen it was for the kids. Then stayed at parents I think and rented a lcok up for business storage

He's a cocklodger.

Protect your assets.

Don't get married.

Current assets are legally protected, pre cohabitation

I converted a double integral garage in a new build a few years ago, into an office, and it cost £5k, already had a radiator and didn't need water, the insulated walls and floor were the biggest expense