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Original poster

24 year old son not paid uni rent and I'm the guarantor

92 replies

AvaloniaFunk · 15/12/2020 08:09

My son is 24 and in his last year at uni. Our relationship is not great ( long story) and he has not been communicating well with me, or any other family, for months. He will occasionally texts if he needs something urgent but that is all.
This morning I have had an email from his uni accommadation. It was addressed to him and was a final warning regarding paying his rent. His rent should be paid from his student loan which more than covers it. This is the first I have heard of it. It says they have tries to contact him numerous times with no response and if his rent isn't paid by the end of this week ( approx £3000) a 3% charge will be added. I am his guarantor but am a single mum to two younger children and have no savings whatsoever. Any advice?

OP posts:

Asdf12345 · 15/12/2020 08:11

Don’t guarantee anything for anyone unless you can afford to write a blank cheque.

thelooneywitch · 15/12/2020 08:14

I agree with @Asdf12345.

I'd be onto him to have a go and find out why he's not being responsible for his own bills at that age. Give him a deadline to pay it maybe?

Dyrne · 15/12/2020 08:17

You need to speak to him - ask him why he hasn’t paid his rent. Explain to him that £3000 is a lot of money for you and you can’t afford to pay.

Unfortunately as guarantor you are legally liable for it if he continues to refuse to pay - the university can take you to court over this matter. It does depend though, they may decide it’s more profitable to reclaim their money from a 24 year old single man rather than a single mother of 2 young children. Though if they accepted you as a guarantor in the first place...

First step is speaking with your son and explaining the consequences.

IAmcuriousyellow · 15/12/2020 08:18

You need to get in touch and talk to them. I’m really sorry for you. Did you know you were guarantor? Did you sign something to that effect?

TeachesOfPeaches · 15/12/2020 08:21

Some universities won't let you graduate if you have debts to the uni eg library. Is he on or off campus?

FamilyOfAliens · 15/12/2020 08:24

I wish people would understand what it really means to be a guarantor.

It’s not just “I’ll sign this piece of paper to ensure my child gets the accommodation they want”. It’s “So how would I find at least one months rent at short notice if my child defaults? Which family pot would I take the money from? What will I do if it’s 3,4,5 month’s rent?”

I suppose on the plus side it’s not someone else’s rent you’re having to find, which happens when several people share a tenancy and one of them defaults.

Bluntness100 · 15/12/2020 08:26

@Asdf12345

Don’t guarantee anything for anyone unless you can afford to write a blank cheque.

This is really helpful once she’s done it

Op, you need to speak to your son and the uni. I’m sorry.

AaronPurr · 15/12/2020 08:26

@Asdf12345

Don’t guarantee anything for anyone unless you can afford to write a blank cheque.

I agree. Sorry Op but the responsibilities of being a guarantor are made quite clear when you agree to be one.

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 15/12/2020 08:31

I'd get some legal advice. Maybe you can argue that the university had a responsibility to contact you before it got to this stage and therefore it's unreasonable to expect full payment. They might accept a smaller regular payment - that's better for a landlord than having to go to court and potentially not getting any money at all. You can't pay what you don't have.
But this is very serious - it has the potential to bankrupt you. You must try to get your DS to pay it and never act as a guarantor for anyone ever again.
I did it for my DS at uni and the level of financial exposure it puts you in is horrific - I don't think it should be legal to expect guarantors as standard for another adult's debt and yet it seems impossible to get uni accommodation without it.
Sometimes you can argue that a contact is unfair and then even if you've signed it, the court can override it, but you'd need proper legal advice to look at the contract.

DianaT1969 · 15/12/2020 08:31

You should also take steps to end his rental agreement. You don't want another £3,000 debt next term. Get out the rental contract, or ask them for a copy asap.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 15/12/2020 08:31

Students can’t get accommodation without someone being a guarantor so what are they supposed to do 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP get in touch with the uni and your son and see what you can all sort out between you.

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 15/12/2020 08:33

Also it's shitty to tell someone not to be a guarantor unless they can afford to write a blank cheque, once they've already done it. She knows that now - what she needs is help at this point.

ReindeerAntlerLights · 15/12/2020 08:38

Students can’t get accommodation without someone being a guarantor so what are they supposed to do 🤷🏼‍♀️

^^ This, they can't get a place unless someone signs as a guarantor.

Is it university accommodation or a private landlord?

Lougle · 15/12/2020 08:40

Have you tried to talk to your DS? That's your first step. As guarantor you are the final stop for the uni to recoup their fees.

Notthe9oclocknewsathon · 15/12/2020 08:49

I’d imagine he is taking part in the national rent strike. He probably won’t realise you have been contacted and given the national press (and success some students have already had getting reductions) I actually think it’s really unlikely they would actually go after you. But it’s worth contacting him and having a calm conversation. I’m on good terms with my niece who is in exactly this scenario and I just rang her and said I supported the cause but if it came to a lab actual court appearance she would have to capitulate. She agreed.

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 15/12/2020 08:52

Advice is address this immediately - first by forwarding the emsil to your son then telephoning (not texting) your son, and doing everything you can to speak to him face to face or on the phone to be very clear about what's happening and next steps.

Then contact whoever is owed the money - uni housing office, private large company or individual landlord? It probably makes a difference in terms of how flexible and helpful they might be about arranging a payment plan. Ideally your son does this, copying you in on all communication and conference calling with you - if he's obstructive you unfortunately need to take the lead as you're legally liable. Aim to arrange a payment plan if your son no longer has £3000 - obviously if he has it, he pays.

Contact the university student services or CAB for advice if you can't come to an arrangent about payment.

MyOwnSummer · 15/12/2020 08:55

Sorry to hear this OP. I think you need to talk to the uni, advise them that you are unable to pay right now but that you'll chase your son.

Tell him about the impact this will have on his two younger siblings. Unless there is some ridiculous backstory where he doesn't get on with his siblings, I think it is likely that he would have empathy for the younger children caught up in this situation, at least you'd hope so. They will be going without essentials to pay for his beer money, that's the reality of the situation.

knittingaddict · 15/12/2020 09:08

To all those saying "don't be a guarantor", it's almost impossible to get student accommodation without having a guarantor.

ExConstance · 15/12/2020 09:18

We had a problem that was potentially even worse. DH inadvertently acted as guarantor not just for DS2 but for the whole flat share. All of them except DS2 with held rent because of a minor quibble about repairs being done and we were threatened with proceedings for quite a lot of money. Eventually all the flatmates except one settled up and the parents paid the share of the remaining one between them. We have been very careful to check the wording of the guarantee since then.

Audreyseyebrows · 15/12/2020 09:22

Surely it was very foolish of them to let you be a guarantor with no means of being able to pay?

What has your son said?

BackwardsGoing · 15/12/2020 09:22

@knittingaddict

To all those saying "don't be a guarantor", it's almost impossible to get student accommodation without having a guarantor.

Another option. Don't be the guarantor. Be the the person who pays the rent. Get the student loan money off the student and pay the rent to the LL yourself from that money. Then you know you're not going to be shafted.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 15/12/2020 09:23

OK. Forward that to your son then call him and ask him how he is going to resolve it. Tell him plainly that neither you nor his two younger siblings can afford not to eat, have heating etc so he is going to have to come up with something. Starting with contacting the university and asking for their advice!

Remind him that your credit rating will be hit by this and this will cost you money and hassle for years to come.

If he blanks you then you are going to have to set your anger with him aside for now and contact them yourself and see what arrangement you can agree with them! And absolutely make sure that you cover future payments in that discussion!

Then you can deal with your DS... starting with what on Earth he has been doing with the money, his time etc etc. This is his final year... he knows how it all works. What has changed?

Best of luck

CuriousaboutSamphire · 15/12/2020 09:24

Get the student loan money off the student and pay the rent to the LL yourself from that money. That could be regarded as theft, fraud etc. It isn't your money, it belongs to the student!

Madwomanuptheroad29 · 15/12/2020 09:25

You need to get in touch with the landlord - is it the actual university or a private company providing accommodation?
You will need to make some kind of arrangement to start paying them /negotiate installments. Then you need to see if the tenancy can be ended immediately so you do not have to pay another six months.
In addition you need to find out from your son what happened and if/how/when he intends to contribute.
But the first and most important thing is to address the debt and minimise the risk of it getting bigger.

twilightermummy · 15/12/2020 09:27

He's going to have to pay double out of his loan next month and get an job, even at McD's (if he can) and use his wage for daily expenses.

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