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Original poster

24 year old son not paid uni rent and I'm the guarantor

92 replies

AvaloniaFunk · 15/12/2020 08:09

My son is 24 and in his last year at uni. Our relationship is not great ( long story) and he has not been communicating well with me, or any other family, for months. He will occasionally texts if he needs something urgent but that is all.
This morning I have had an email from his uni accommadation. It was addressed to him and was a final warning regarding paying his rent. His rent should be paid from his student loan which more than covers it. This is the first I have heard of it. It says they have tries to contact him numerous times with no response and if his rent isn't paid by the end of this week ( approx £3000) a 3% charge will be added. I am his guarantor but am a single mum to two younger children and have no savings whatsoever. Any advice?

OP posts:

LadyLazaruss · 17/12/2020 00:22

@Viviennemary

If you are his guarantor then if he doesn't pay it becomes your debt. Contact your son first and find out why he hasn't paid it. It's your credit rating that will take the hit.

She's tried - he's ignoring her.

sneakysnoopysniper · 17/12/2020 00:44

The debt industry is utterly corrupt. However these spectacular TV programs feature people who have buried their heads and ignored debts, court summons, etc,

First try to work out an affordable payment plan with the LL. Remind them that you are on a low income and if they take you to court they may end up with a mere token payment.

Worst scenario is that LL takes you to court. You can then make an agreement with the court to pay according to your circumstances. So long as you keep to the arrangement the LL cannot demand more or make you bankrupt.

HollowTalk · 17/12/2020 01:23

What the hell has he been spending his money on in lockdown?

drspouse · 17/12/2020 05:08

Yes, as others have said, don't borrow to pay this off. Work out a payment plan, and once your son answers his phone, get him to take responsibility.

SD1978 · 17/12/2020 05:12

Whilst you are liable for this year- and it sucks, I'd be sending him one final message, that he has crossed a line which will be difficult to come back from. That the position he's putting you in, and the financial implications will have I I stop s for your whole future relationship.

SimonJT · 17/12/2020 05:17

@BigSandyBalls2015

Students can’t get accommodation without someone being a guarantor so what are they supposed to do 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP get in touch with the uni and your son and see what you can all sort out between you.

This.

I didn’t have anyone who could be a guarantor so I couldn’t live in university housing (which was ver unusual at my university) and I couldn’t even live in a student houseshare. I had to just lodge with various people which was fairly crap.

justilou1 · 17/12/2020 05:28

I would be collecting it directly from son the day student loan comes back in and refuse to be guarantor again. (Including interest.) Your son is being an avoidant prick and needs to grow up.

sashh · 17/12/2020 05:36

Contact the uni, explain this is the first you have heard and talk about a repayment plan for the new year. They want the money, not you in court.

If they were to go to court and win you would be asked about your finances and a payment schedule agreed. If you were to not make the payments then bailiffs CANNOT take your goods with you in the house because you are a 'vulnerable adult' and because you have children.

Sorry that isn't meant to scare you, it's just prep for if things don't go to plan.

As others have said your son might not be able to graduate with a debt to the uni.

Do you have legal advice cover on your house insurance? It's well worth talking to someone who is a specialist.

Pumpertrumper · 17/12/2020 06:00

All students require a guarantor for accommodation to telling parents not to do this is effectively stopping their kids attending uni. There really is no choice to it.

A friend of mine became very wealthy at 18 due to inheritance. I’m talking multi millions (came from money obviously). He told me that his uni accommodation were demanding his father guarantor for him and were no interested in how much money he had himself.

I found it really odd. He only wanted that particular accommodation because he wanted to share with his uni mates. In the end he privately rented a large place which they all lived in. Think he had to pay the whole year up front.

Mamanyt · 17/12/2020 07:15

Legally, you are absolutely responsible for the bill. However, if you contact the uni, explain your situation, you may be able to make payments on it monthly. I know, I know, but...you did sign. I would also ask uni how to get your name off of that agreement! It may be possible.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 17/12/2020 07:22

Like another poster on here, my DDs student loan goes into a bank account that she doesn’t have access to. Some may call it ‘controlling’ at that age but it’s very easy to move away from home for the first time and get carried away with the spending.

DD moans about it sometimes but her loan doesn’t even cover her rent, we have to top it up. Her grandparents give her £200 a month to live on which she has to budget with and if thats not enough then she has to work. I do send the odd food order or Greggs voucher .

BigSandyBalls2015 · 17/12/2020 07:24

Just to clarify she has mentioned that all her uni mates use their free student overdraft but as long as I’m having to ‘top up’ her loan then she isn’t seeing that overdraft at all which I think is reasonable.

Seymour5 · 17/12/2020 07:33

A 24 year old should behave with more maturity than an 18/19 year old student. To know his mum is on her own and supporting two younger siblings and be so unconcerned to build up a debt like that is appalling behaviour.

Many good suggestions that I can't add to, I just hope the OP can get some support from family, and the landlord is reasonable. As student landlords, I wonder why they have let the arrears get to such a level without contacting the guarantor? They must have to chase rent regularly, and the earlier one knows about an issue, the easier it is to resolve. £3k is a big ask!

Horrible situation OP, I hope you can find a resolution. Perhaps your son's other parent (if he has one) can step up with some help?

BeakyWinder · 17/12/2020 07:38

Your son is a dick. What kind of man leaves his mum in the shit like this and doesn't even care. He's 24, not a fresher who's spent to much on shots. I hope this is the last favour you do for the ungrateful git.

islockdownoveryet · 17/12/2020 07:42

My dc rent was short at uni and I was guarantee . It was about £500 I think but they allowed me to pay over 3 months .
I was a bit with dc and never again .
As a guarantee you will have to pay it but explain you can't afford it and will agree to a payment plan and you will have to sort out that your ds pays you back .

NewYearNewPlumbing · 17/12/2020 07:54

I would tell him, via Registered letter if he won’t speak to you, that you will be taken to court if he does not pay this term.

And that as you cannot afford this you will be cancelling your role as guarantor for the next two terms and he will be homeless and probably his degree compromised.

If he is taking part in the rent strike tell him he is hardly making a stand if you end up paying his bill because you have been taken to court.

Honestly; If he then doesn’t pay I would then do all I could to cancel the contract, including telling them your changed financial circumstances that mean you are not in a position to be a guarantor any more.

Iris5543 · 17/12/2020 08:04

I’d threaten to move in with him!

huuuuunnnndderrricks · 17/12/2020 08:12

We were asked to be a guarantor for a family member and refused fir this exact scenario .. so sad for you , what a horrible son to do this to you !

FVFrog · 17/12/2020 08:21

@AvaloniaFunk how much is his rent and how much is his student loan? I am on my third DC going through uni and the loan is nowhere near enough to cover rent (especially uni accommodation). Hall fees are typically at least 5/6k at the lower end and then they have to find money for food etc on top of this. Is he classed as independent from his parents as that’s the only way he would get anything like enough to cover rent without additional support from family or a part time job. Has he maybe lost a job due to the current pandemic?
I agree you need to speak with him and the uni ASAP. I do feel for you, its not easy parenting adult children, but I would also try and work on more regular communication. Even if he doesn’t regularly initiate contact, try and contact him regularly.

Madwomanuptheroad29 · 17/12/2020 09:03

OP just explained that it is a private landlord. So speaking with uni will achieve little.
Can you even remove yourself as a guarantor during the length of the contract? It would kind of make. The whole thing meaningless as anyone could be a guarantor and then once person has moved in remove themselves.
Get advice as quick as possible re debt management.
And get in touch with landlord to see if there is any way to terminate the tenancy early.
I would not borrow of family if you may struggle paying back.
This could end up with you owing the entire year of rent.
CAB will offer free debt advice.

LadyLazaruss · 17/12/2020 09:05

[quote FVFrog]@AvaloniaFunk how much is his rent and how much is his student loan? I am on my third DC going through uni and the loan is nowhere near enough to cover rent (especially uni accommodation). Hall fees are typically at least 5/6k at the lower end and then they have to find money for food etc on top of this. Is he classed as independent from his parents as that’s the only way he would get anything like enough to cover rent without additional support from family or a part time job. Has he maybe lost a job due to the current pandemic?
I agree you need to speak with him and the uni ASAP. I do feel for you, its not easy parenting adult children, but I would also try and work on more regular communication. Even if he doesn’t regularly initiate contact, try and contact him regularly.[/quote]
We don't know, but OP did mention his student loan 'more than covers' his rent, so he shouldn't be struggling for money at all really.

CouldBeOuting · 17/12/2020 09:13

@knittingaddict

Another option. Don't be the guarantor. Be the the person who pays the rent. Get the student loan money off the student and pay the rent to the LL yourself from that money. Then you know you're not going to be shafted.

I'm not sure that you can even do that. Contracts for uni students require a guarantor as standard. The student would still be the tenant and a guarantor still required. The parent can't take on a tenancy in their name and then let the student live there.

DH has always been DDs guarantor and (until this year) we have always paid the rent direct to the landlord ourselves as her loan didn’t cover the rent amount. She completed her MA in the autumn and moved, there aren’t any jobs in her field at the moment due to Covid so she is getting what retail hours she can. We have a standing order to her to cover her rent and she knows that she can ask us for help if she doesn’t get enough work to cover the bills. We stopped paying rent direct because the new landlord wants ALL the rent from one account (she’s flat sharing) so she gets money from us and her flat mate and then pays the whole amount.

Landlords don’t care what name the money is coming from so long as they get it.

Farahilda · 17/12/2020 09:15

I'm be very worried that he has disappeared after racking up debt.

I'd want to know why, and if he has got into a mess to demonstrate to him how he sorts it out (not acting like an ostrich in the hope it'll go away). DC have to learn these lessons, and making mistakes at university is a frequent thing.

That said, right now, the issues are to stop the debt getting larger and sorting out how it will be paid. Getting advice (from one of the free debt counselling charities) could be a good step. Aim being to avoid the surcharge and to set up instalments asap. Once they know the debt will be paid in a reasonable amount of time, the punitive aspects should drop away.

Also, ask his DDad for help - you were not separated at the time you signed up for this, and if no financial settlement has yet been reached getting something to cover debts you (singular) guaranteed for your (plural) DC - with his knowledge/agreement? - seems only fair. But depends on goodwill

rbe78 · 17/12/2020 09:16

Given your son isn't even replying to your messages, I would pay the arrears so you're no longer in debt to them, then immediately ask to be released as guarantor, before the next lot of rent becomes due in January. They might not agree, but it's worth asking.

This may result in your son having his tenancy withdrawn, but he's a 24 year-old adult who is treating you disgracefully, so he can live with the consequences of his actions.

MrsWooster · 17/12/2020 09:34

@rbe78

This may result in your son having his tenancy withdrawn, but he's a 24 year-old adult who is treating you disgracefully, so he can live with the consequences of his actions.

This. He can pay from Jan from his student loan and go and get himself a job to earn living expenses-there are still plenty of night jobs etc that he can fit round his course.

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