How much do you earn as a family?

[BertieBasset82]

Why I ask. I am currently pregnant - I earn £18k (dental nurse) and my partner earns £60k. We’re in Yorkshire and our mortgage is around £550 a month.
I’m wondering if we would manage if I didn’t go back once my maternity ended.

How on earth are you living payday to payday with a combined salary of £78k a year!?

Google's take-home-pay calculator tells me that together you should be getting around £5k a month after tax - if your mortgage is £550, you have no car payments and no debt, even after bills and food you should still have at least £3k to play with. What on earth are you spending it all on?!

My partner and i have a combined income of £50k and a mortgage of £1k. We're very, very comfortable.

We have a bigger mortgage monthly payment, but a decent amount of equity. Our total household income is between £60 and £70k p/a. We live near London in a three bed house. No school fees, as we have a great local school, which dc1 goes to, some childminder fees for dc2 and wraparound care for dc1. We have quite a bit in savings and we don't scrimp on food and wine. We have no commute costs at the moment and never go out anymore. Also fewer activities for dcs.

So, I think yes, it is doable ! Go for it if it is what you want.

Xpost with @ifailed who evidently did the same googling i did, and is just as baffled!

I'm now wondering whether maybe OP's husband is squirrelling money away and hiding it from her?

Thanks all. He was on 45k until august when he got his new role. But even at that salary we should’ve been better off than we are..
I think we need to sit and do some budget planning as regardless to if I give up or not something is being spent somewhere. Honestly other than maybe one shopping trip a month (before lockdown) on “treats” clothes etc that comes to maybe £80, we really don’t have much to show for our money and I almost always start a month in my over draft. We don’t drink, smoke or anything like that either. Glad I posted this as it has made me think how actually we should be managing money better.

Single parent here paying a mortgage on my own and only working 3 days per week. Earning 30k mortgage £550 month

Partner earns around £18k.

Four kids. Rent our house

Do you have sight of all your finances OP? Is your DP putting savings away or anything like that? Is your salary all going into account that gets spent on household stuff, and your DP has his salary paid into a different account? Are you currently paying into any pension or savings yourself at the moment?

@BertieBasset82

Thanks all. He was on 45k until august when he got his new role. But even at that salary we should’ve been better off than we are.. I think we need to sit and do some budget planning as regardless to if I give up or not something is being spent somewhere. Honestly other than maybe one shopping trip a month (before lockdown) on “treats” clothes etc that comes to maybe £80, we really don’t have much to show for our money and I almost always start a month in my over draft. We don’t drink, smoke or anything like that either. Glad I posted this as it has made me think how actually we should be managing money better.

OP, this makes me think that your husband may be keeping a significant portion of his earnings to himself. Which he is perfectly entitled to do, of course, but would prompt many questions from me.

If i were you, I'd do the budget without telling him. Don't ask any questions, or mention the money, just look into it quietly by yourself first. Do you have a joint account?

Think carefully before giving up work if you’re not married (and even if you are, tbh). So many cautionary tales on MN of mothers who find themselves in a very precarious position. Nobody wants to think that their relationship might break down but things happen and I think it’s really important to remain reasonably self-sufficient.

@piglet81

Think carefully before giving up work if you’re not married (and even if you are, tbh). So many cautionary tales on MN of mothers who find themselves in a very precarious position. Nobody wants to think that their relationship might break down but things happen and I think it’s really important to remain reasonably self-sufficient.

YES this. I missed that she isn't married.

I've found part time the best situation for us, I work 3 days but only pay for 1.5 days childcare as we have family to help.

We earn around 40K between us in the NE but don't have a mortgage.

It really is about weighing up your own situation as I'd miss working if I was at home all the time.

Also if you plan to have more children it might be worth going back after your first and leaving work once you've taken your second maternity.

You live pay day to pay day without children on that income wtf??!!!!

I don't work, DH earns a very healthy 6 figures tax free. So we don't have any financial worries at all. BUT I would urge you to return to work, even if its reduced hours because a) childcare isn't just your cost, it's your DPs too, b) childcare isn't forever, keep your hand in with you working life rather than drop out entirely and having to start from the bottom again when you do rejoin and most importantly c) you're not married - you would be mad to become financially dependent on someone else if you're not. For clarity, even though I'm married, I'm 5 years into being a SAHM and massively regret dropping off the job market.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

You live pay day to pay day without children on that income wtf??!!!!

MN has made me so fucking cynical - I'm guessing that if she does some digging she's going to find something deeply upsetting, like a gambling problem, or a mountain of debt, or a massive fuck-off fund, or a secret second family.

Don't give up your job!

Look at getting a legal partnership too, if you're having a child together (m/f couples can get them too now, not just same sex).

Does your partner know that he will have to pay back the child benefit you wi receive, due to his income level? You must make sure you claim child benefit because it will give you the NI contributions to your state pension while you are on maternity leave.

PP are right. If you aren't married, don't give up work. It will leave you in an extremely precarious position if you split - a far from unlikely possibility.

Before you even think about quitting work, you really really need to get on top of your budget and where the money is going. PP are also right that with a very decent income, if you are ending every month in your OD then either the money is being badly mismanaged or your partner is socking away part of it. Neither scenario bodes well for you as someone financially dependent and unmarried with a child.

You’d manage fine but as others are advising, keep working, even part time and even if you have an extended mat leave.

Also make sure you claim CB, your DH will have to either pay it back through self assessment or you can claim but opt out or payments but it’ll mean whatever you chose to do work wise your NI contact will be paid.

*contributions

Not being married makes you very vulnerable.

I am married and gave up work to be a SAHM for 10 years. I'm now a low earner. HOWEVER I don't feel particularly vulnerable because I have the legal protection of marriage if anything goes wrong.

Your ability to budget is a whole other issue. Set up some spreadsheets, look for budgeting tips (MN has lots) and make sure you and your partner are transparent about where every penny is going.

And get married.

Even before the big payrise, living payday to payday with that low a mortgage is shocking money management. Of course you can live on his salary - very easily.

Does it have to be all or nothing? Can’t you work 2 days a week? I have all the concerns of previous posters... there are so many women like you who turn up 10 years later, post divorce, fuck all pension, out of the workplace for too long... just keep your hand in.

I earn around £50,000 (self-employed)
DH earns £125,000
Mortgage is £1,100
Second property mortgage is covered by our tenants
We have some (strategic) debt that means we don't have the disposable income you'd think we do
I'm having a baby in April and not planning on going back to work for at least 2/3 years...
I don't know if that helps

Our joint income is just below £45k, mortgage is £775 we have 4 DC (although only lives here FT). I have more career prospects than DP so my career is the priority (although we haven't reached that point yet).

We've got a toddler, a total of 30k a year and a mortgage the same as the op's and always do just fine. Mumsnet is a very strange place sometimes!

Just remember giving up your job also means losing out on future earnings and losing out massively on your pension. So I'd make sure your OH would be paying into a SIPP for you to compensate at the very least.

But personally I couldn't rely on someone else's income entirely, especially if you don't have joint finance/are married etc.

Work part time if you can. Your partner should contribute to childcare as if it was another bill.
It will give you some independence, some variety and keep you employable.