What am I entitled to after 37 years of marriage if husband leaves me

[Mollyb70]

My husband has told me he doesn’t love me anymore and has left. He has seen a solicitor and says we need to go to mediation to sort out finances if we can’t agree them. I don’t know what I’m entitled to and can’t afford solicitor fees. We have been married 27 years, I’ve had a series of part time and later full time jobs whilst bringing up children and being main homemaker doing cooking, cleaning etc. our children now 24 and 27, all whilst he qualified as a solicitor whilst working full time. I earn £32k full time and his package is around £120k plus 6-9% annual bonus on a self employed basis (he is a partner in a law firm with an equity loan of around £60k) we have a house worth around £375k with an estimated £175k equity. £6k in savings and two cars worth around £20k. I get £2k per month after tax and have a work pension estimated at £12k from age 67 and if I stay in current job an additional £6k per year! He has a drawdown pension pot of £275000 ish and pays in £1200 pm, if he continues this he should get around £50k per year depending on markets. His monthly salary drawdown payment is normally around £6500 but has was reduced 25% to £5550 May to November due to Covid but back to £6500 next month. His accountant reserves tax etc. We have no debts just.the mortgage. We each normally have ‘pocket money’ of £3-400 pm which is paid to our own private accounts (we’ve been doing this for 20 years), he spends his in full every month and I tend to save mine so currently have around £1200.

Any idea what I should be looking for in settlement. I have a long term medical condition which affects my health and ability to work from time to time.

I meant 27 years

I don’t know what I’m entitled to and can’t afford solicitor fees.

I don't think it would be wise to proceed without advice from a solicitor. Using some of the £1200 you have saved, could make a massive difference to what you come away with.

You really need to get some legal advice asap. Don't use a solicitor in the same area though , maybe go to a solicitor in another town as a lot of solicitors in local areas move in the same circles and know each other..

Obviously the solicitor will give you advice but judging on what has happened with friends, some have agreed to not claim any of their partner's pension in exchange for the entire equity of the house.

Think about what you think is fair and what you would like to come away with, write down all the financial information and then the solicitor could advise as to whether they think what you would like to come away with is reasonable or whether you would be entitled to more.

I agree with legal advice. You should get half of all assets. ,plus should be entitled to a claim on his pension if yours is smaller.

£50k a year pension is unrealistic

Do you have legal cover on your household insurance as that would enable you to a limited amount of advice. I do agree that it’s worth seeing a solicitor though.

I would invest in a solicitor. Does anyone know whether solicitor's fees are paid from joint assets? It's really unfair that one person should be able to afford a good solicitor when the other can't.

You are not in a great financial position for that income over time.
Are you sure there is no money elsewhere?

His pension of £275,000 is not likely to be worth £50,000

Can't you use half the joint savings for a solicitor? Please tell me you have access to them?

So basically half of the house equity less selling fees etc. I assume you cant afford to buy him out but he could buy you out as he earns more.
Half of all of the savings (yours and his and joint go in the pot)
Usually keep own cars but one may have to top up the value from any money they get.

Pension- you may get some of his (based on value now) but it is complicated as you also have a pension and actually 20 years of your pension now is worth about the same as his pot now (20 x 12K). Life expectancy will play a part.

You need a shit hot solicitor for this one.
1/2 the pension
1/2 the house, at least
Maintenence for a few years or more as your lifestyle will drastically change.
And a medal for sticking with him so long.

@FedUpAtHomeTroels

You need a shit hot solicitor for this one. 1/2 the pension 1/2 the house, at least Maintenence for a few years or more as your lifestyle will drastically change. And a medal for sticking with him so long.

She earns more than national average wage-adult children- why would she get maintenance? Her pension is probably worth as much as his- she wont get half of his pension. The house has a £200,00 mortgagee on a £375k house. She wont get at least half the house. She should get half of the equity after fees- a bit more if he buys it off her.

You really need to work out where the money has gone.

£8k joint income a month? £800 spending, a £200,000 mortgage (say.£1500 if it was bigger when taken out) £20k for both cars?

Where has the rest gone?

Agree with PP, seems a high mortgage & low pension pot considering his earnings? If he's only been taking a few hundred spending money where is all the rest going?

Of course you can afford a solicitor with your income & savings!

How do you only have £175k equity in the house?

You can't afford not to get legal advice.

You must get yourself a shit hot lawyer, he is a solicitor and will therefore know every trick in the book to use against you, or colleagues will advise him what they are. You must not just roll over and take what he offers,
You need to get all the financial information. Take the money from savings or start selling stuff to finance it, it will be a good investment.

Solicitor and full financial disclosure needed

don't think about what you think is fair (previous pp). women notoriously look after everyone else before themselves. Get a shit hot solicitor, and folllow their advice. you've been together for 27 years and facilitated his career. Don't just accept what he thinks is a good deal .. men are notoriously good at thinking about themselves more than others. Not saying either is 'right', just that in this situation, you are likely to accept less than you are entitled to if you don't get legal advice.

Agree with PPs. As soon as I saw the numbers, I thought... this doesn't seem to add up?

Did you remortgage the house or use savings to buy into the partnership in addition to the equity loan? What is his share of the business actually worth (more than the outstanding loan?)

Use some of the savings for a really good lawyer that doesn't run in his circles. Silly not to get legal advice. It should be a priority.

What are you spending 8k a month on?

I did annuity estimator calculator with birthdate in 1965 based on estimated age for your DH and his pension pot of £275k today:

Your estimated retirement income (based on what you've told us so far) is £6,267.99 per year or £522.33 per month before tax.

So actually you are better prepared than he is with a future pension of £18k/yr.